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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pass the parcel etiquette

119 replies

Anappleaday1 · 07/09/2019 19:55

It's my dd's 4th birthday party tomorrow and I'm just getting pass the parcel ready. I always thought that the birthday boy/girl won the final present, but went to a party recently and this wasn't the case. AIBU if dd wins the prize? There is something small in each layer so all children will get something. I'm not precious about her getting it, she will receive plenty of presents after all, just wondering what the normal etiquette is?!

OP posts:
londonrach · 07/09/2019 21:42

Anyone but the birthday child can win. I did stickers in each layer too. Never ever ever ever heard of the birthday child winning ever. Vvv strange if so as no point playing. Yabu. Put some bubbles in centre and just wrap each layer as required.

howyoulikemenow · 07/09/2019 21:45

Mine don't win but they totally lose their shit that they don't, so...

Ithinkmycatisevil · 07/09/2019 21:47

I’ve always made sure every child gets to unwrap a layer and then shut my eyes for the final prize so it’s fair. I’d never ensure the birthday child won!

JupiterJane · 07/09/2019 21:48

Birthday child doesn’t get the gift, but would get to unwrap a layer like all the others

SallyWD · 07/09/2019 21:48

Birthday child never gets it!!

user1471590586 · 07/09/2019 21:48

I went to a party where the birthday boy got the main present. I was actually shocked. The birthday boy/ girl gets loads of presents from guests why do they need the pass the parcel one?

IceBearRocks · 07/09/2019 21:50

We bought glow bracelet from Poundland and each child got the sweet and you'd give them a glow bracelet so you could keep track of who's had a layer...birthday child does not win!!!

Areyoufree · 07/09/2019 21:53

I never have one big prize - just small prizes in each layer, one for each guest.

Dangermouse37 · 07/09/2019 21:56

If birthday child wins then they pass it to the next person as they already have enough.

INeedNewShoes · 07/09/2019 21:56

In the good old days there was one gift only and that was the last layer. I don't feel that I or my friends were at all traumatised by not receiving a bit of plastic tat or sweets during pass the parcel and it made the game exciting there being only one prize.

Why oh why have we reached this point that every child must win something in a game.

How bloody boring.

Ugh Confused

Jenasaurus · 07/09/2019 21:58

it was always random when my kids were small so it could be anyone winning the gift

LittleOwl153 · 07/09/2019 22:00

I saw a good one in our party rounds last year, each layer had a medal in it on a coloured ribbon - it was in keeping with the theme but also really obvious which kids had unwrapped a layer so everyone got a turn!

Longdistance · 07/09/2019 22:05

Oh god, my dh did this one year Blush I thought he knew the rules —twat— it’s usually ‘random’ all kids get to unwrap the parcel with a sweetie treat. A random child would win the main present,

Sweetooth92 · 07/09/2019 22:07

We used to do 2-3 smaller parcels at the same time to stop the kids getting bored. Also, if you fancy a laugh a couple layers from the middle pop a wrapping paper layer instead of newspaper so the kids think it’s the main prize-but no, just another general one.

caringcarer · 07/09/2019 22:17

Sweets between each layer. Each child wins one layer. I always made sure a younger or less confident child won final layer as they are less likely to win one of other games. Birthday child never wins any of the games at their own party. Birthday child gets other gifts and gets to blow out the candles on cakes and hand out the goody bags.

yumyumpoppycat · 07/09/2019 22:19

I went to a party where the mum sounded me out about this and I said no birthday child shouldn't win , she said oh I don't know what to do he really wants the prize then went ahead and rigged it so he he won!

ErrolTheDragon · 07/09/2019 22:35

Part of the fun of parties for the birthday child is surely being the 'host' who has helped in the preparation - which includes filling the party bags for their friends (and one for themselves) and helping to choose the prizes for the games including the pass the parcel?

TheRebelAlliance · 07/09/2019 22:38

2 or 3 parcels a time to ensure it isn't boring

Birthday child never wins

All get 1 prize, some get 2.

Engineer to ensure this

Wonkybanana · 07/09/2019 22:41

I wouldn't let the birthday child stop the music for the 'big' prize - you're opening them up to another child getting mardy (or worse) at the BC because they didn't win.

I agree something between each layer is relatively new, previously you just took paper off each time and there was no making sure everyone got a turn. But every layer got the parcel nearer the middle - and that might be YOU!!

TildaTurnip · 07/09/2019 22:45

The multiple parcels has changed my mind a bit on the game Grin

mumwon · 07/09/2019 22:49

what I did was each dc that won a layer was taken out of the circle until last turn when all join in for main present

tinyme77 · 07/09/2019 22:50

Is it a Northern thing? The only person I have heard who did this was from up North.

northernknickers · 07/09/2019 22:53

OP...why did you think that though? Even if this is the first time you've done a party, you must have been to parties yourself...and had parties as a child? And basic manners should have dictated that your child would not receive YET ANOTHER present in front of guests at their party! 🤦‍♀️

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 07/09/2019 22:56

I didn’t do enough layers for one each at the last party, I thought it would last too long. It hadn’t occurred to me to have two parcels at a time.

northernknickers · 07/09/2019 22:57

Bloody hell @tinyme77 seriously? I'm rarely sweary, and hardly EVER direct it personally, but...I'm sorely tempted right now...