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AIBU?

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I shook his bloody hand

252 replies

costacostsalot · 07/09/2019 11:33

There's a man I see all the time, we don't know each other.
I went to coffee shop with my son and he was there with his children, we were sitting near each other so started having a chat. We was having a lovely conversation about the summer holidays, the weather, the children and nothing flirty, just a chit chat. I realised the time and needed to head off. For some unknown reason I got up, leant over and shook his bloody hand!!!!!
Why????? I have no idea where it came from!!! Aibu to just avoid him forever, it's weird isn't it and he's going to think I'm odd 😐😐

OP posts:
caringcarer · 07/09/2019 22:18

Ha ha, he will remember you now.

cushioncovers · 07/09/2019 22:21

I worked in a gynae ward and had been looking after a pt who'd had a miscarriage. As her and her dp left I said 'nice to meet you, see you again'. BlushBlush

toomanypillows · 07/09/2019 22:30

I teach in an FE college and I have a year 13 form. I was handing out some paperwork for them to fill in and as I was circulating the room, I said (very loudly so they could all hear me) "When you've finished, give it back to Mummy"

It was so hilariously uncomfortable.
I had a great relationship with them and we found it funny for ages, but at the same time it was soooo cringy.

CountFosco · 07/09/2019 22:32

My cousin once saw my DM in the supermarket and walked up behind her, covered her eyes and said 'guess who?'. Except, it wasn't DM, it was a complete stranger.

DH has a terrible habit of texting the wrong person, he's sent text messages discussing dinner meant for me to DDs football coach (reply was ' Sounds lovely, when shall I come over?) and worst of all a message saying 'Hmm, do you fancy an Indian?' to DS's best friend's Mum who is (of course) from the subcontinent. She ripped the piss out of him.

Goingonagondola · 07/09/2019 22:37

My inlaws and I were cooking for a party. I had my hands fully in something and my MIL was making cake icing. My FIL (whom I really don't like) came along and stuck his finger in the icing, held it about an inch from my nose and said 'Mmmm you should try this' and for some reason I thought he was offering it and having no free hands, politeness compelled me to lean forward and suck it off his finger - I will never ever ever stop cringing about this. I curl up inside every time I remember. I don't know what in God's name possessed me to do this. My DH was dying of laughter in one corner, everyone else was looking shifty and uncomfortable. It'll never be ok.

shins · 07/09/2019 22:38

Crying at this thread...I returned from maternity leave and many months of only hanging out with immediate relatives. A young male colleague helped me out with something and I absent mindedly said "Thanks sweetheart"Blush

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 07/09/2019 22:39

As a nanny I was speaking to my (very formal) male boss on the phone about the children. As I finished the call I said ‘love you, bye!’
I died a little inside. Cringe cringe cringe!

MrsMorse · 07/09/2019 22:44

Have to say I once called the hairdressers and asked for a cut & blow dry only instead I said blow job...

GabsAlot · 07/09/2019 22:48

@Whatthefunk happy birthday t the bride-brilliant-these have really cheered me up tonight

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/09/2019 22:51

I accidentally told the cashier in Asda I loved himBlush Grin. Don’t think he heard me as he never said it back and Who could possibly resist a gorgeous young or rather old thing like me Wink

ThighThighOfthigh · 07/09/2019 23:04

I was France and speaking to a French man (in French). I was rather proud of myself after the conversation so as he was walking away i showed off and loudly called "aujourd'hui!" up the street to him.

cushioncovers · 07/09/2019 23:06

Has anyone mentioned the tiny wanker yet?Grin

cushioncovers · 07/09/2019 23:08

I have a friend who was chatting to a room full of people and told them she was very pleased with her new George foreskin grill!

MsJRMEsq · 07/09/2019 23:09

At least it wasn't Boris Johnson.

HerRoyalNotness · 07/09/2019 23:10

I narrowly avoided an embarrassing situation at a work Xmas party of DHs. I thought I recognised an old manager of mine and went barrelling towards him with a massive grin on my face. About 5 feet out, I realised it wasn’t and had to swerve off at the last minute and pretend I’d seen someone else I knew.

Because of that at a recent interview i was waiting to go up and thought I saw another ex colleague walking through the office even though he’s not based there but was too nervous to shout out to him in case it wasn’t. Really need to start wearing my glasses.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 07/09/2019 23:10

I once absent-mindedly ushered a perfect stranger’s dog into my house, saying “come on, my little one”. I was sorting the recycling, and somewhere in my head thought it was my cat, who actually never goes out the front door. The dog’s owner thought I was mad.

saveallyourkisses · 07/09/2019 23:28

This thread is really making me laugh!

When my DH first met my mum, he full on hugged her. He has absolutely no idea why, and as she's quite a fan of personal space and doesn't even hug me, she reacted by just stiffening up so it was even more awkward. We (obviously) took the piss out of him hugely for it once she was a bit more familiar with him, but when I think about it now it makes me chuckle.

When my younger brother brought a teenage girlfriend of his home, she was obviously very nervous and instead of just saying hello, she blurts out "Hello Mrs (my mums surname), can I have a biscuit?" It was bloody brilliant. I made the whole thing worse by howling in the background. 😂😂😂😂

neveradullmomentinparadise · 07/09/2019 23:34

I once ended a parent's evening with my daughter's English teacher by getting up and curtseying! Why????

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 07/09/2019 23:41

"Come on in, my little.one" has just finished me. So unwittingly sinister 🤣

goingonagondola the first time I ever met DPIL, DFIL went to air kiss me at the end of the visit. I thought was going left but he was going right....so instead of kissing cheeks we ended up kissing lips. In front of DMIL and DH. After I had only known him about 2 hours.

😱

DFIL is an absolute gentleman and has never alluded to it in any way, since.

DH, not so much.......

aliceneedswine · 07/09/2019 23:48

I don't think that's a cringe k

aliceneedswine · 07/09/2019 23:48

*cringe moment
Accidentally pressed post!

aliceneedswine · 07/09/2019 23:50

I've just gone back to work after a year of maternity leave and have to consciously remember not to say "love you, bye" when putting the phone down. I sit there for a k

aliceneedswine · 07/09/2019 23:52

Sorry! Fat fingers! Posted too soon again!
*i sit there for a moment to go over the end of the conversation and how I put the phone down just in case I need to call back to apologise!

DurhamDurham · 07/09/2019 23:52

I once met a man of a family I had been supporting as part of my job. We were both in Tesco's and he happened to mention his wife had gone away for the weekend and I said 'Oh you must be so lonely' and touched his arm. There followed a tumbleweed moment and then he scuttled away looking fearful Blush

Aridane · 07/09/2019 23:55

These are wonderfully embarrassing and entertaining (other than the OP's which sounds like a normal interaction)

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