To feel very poor after recent thread

[Clappingforjoy]

Recent thread on here where posters where revealing their income got me really fed up that I must be one of the lowest earners around and it made me feel like failure failure.
Is everybody well off on mumsnet or something where are these people that have to use food banks because all I ever see is people with brand new cars, going on holidays nice houses etc etc i find it mind boggling.

There are well off people on mumsnet but when they say they are, they get accused of being a troll or bragging. You’re not allowed to be wealthy in here. I earn a low income and I’m not envious at all. I wouldn’t want the stress of a high income job. Im happy for people that have done well in life.

I know the one you mean and I felt like crap too but MN is not a true cross section of real life. In my world everyone earns under 30k with most on the average Cornish wage of 20k. Those who live around London or in other cities will earn more but also have loads more opportunities than someone stick out in a village in the country and can’t afford to move.

As long as you are living within your means I wouldn’t worry about the job you do. The country wouldn’t be able run without low earners. What I will say is if you don’t like your job, don’t be afraid to move to a different one. Being in a job you hate is really bad for your MH.

Those threads are full of liars

Anyone can say anything on here! So don’t believe everything you read

I am pretty in similar position to @fairylea, I have chronic fatigue and SAHM but I do volunteer PT and save loads in paying for no childcare. I do sometimes get jealous of others having more disposable income but I am more content now with being around for my family and having minimal stress while being sensible with outgoings. We make the best with what we have got and afford but it is shocking and disgraceful how poorly paid valuable jobs such as carers are. Have you tried online benefit calculators to see if you could claim any top up benefits such as tax credits?

I wish someone would link to the bedroom thread. That sounds hilarious.

If you want to know how rich or poor you are compared to other people in the UK you can look it up here: www.ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

Don't listen to wankers on MN going on. xx

I'm skint, in debt and actually looking to take out a loan to consolidate all my debts and store cards so that I don't end up using the credit card at the end of the month. It's a vicious circle.

I don't even have a frivolous lifestyle but being part time and having two children unexpectedly close together has meant childcare has been crippling.

But one had 30 hours funding now and the other gets his in just over a year so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

It's all relative to where you live. I was brought up in a council estate, left school at 16. Had a series of jobs, not a career. But I have ended up in a glorified admin role in the public sector where I earn 45k for 35 hour week, with flexible working hours. I live in a flat worth about 350k which has been mortgage free these last few years.

There will be people on here who based on previous posts will think I am rich. But in the SE I am regarded as getting by, not a financial success at all.The street I live in has detached houses on them worth 1 million upwards. Not mansions, just largish detached houses. Even the semi-detached are around 750k. I could not afford to buy a house where I live, which is not even considered a particularly great area.

But I have enough to have a good life. I buy nice food, wear nice clothes, nice holidays, I know the value of money. I used to squander money but I am out of that now. I am healthy and that's my main aim in life, to stay healthy. I have a DH but no close family and I don't envy people with money, I envy their families. (Although sometimes reading the dysfunctional carrying ons on here, I count my blessings that I don't!)

So, it's like when you go on Facebook and compare your life to somebody else. Sometimes it leaves you feeling a failure. But that oft repeated phrase on here - comparison is the thief of joy. If you have enough food, warmth, feel loved and are health, you are doing ok.

I earn £8.50 an hour, I'm a single mum living in a rented flat with a poor credit rating and no hope of getting a mortgage on my wage. If that makes you feel any better OP!

The only reason we don't struggle is that my ex is on a good wage so he pays a good amount of child maintenance. I'm aiming to increase my earning potential as DS gets older.

I know exactly the thread you mean OP, and I think you were maybe dazzled by the some of the ridiculously huge salaries, because there were plenty of working poor posting on there, me included

This was the recent thread I saw too, hence why I am asking the op to post a link to the thread she's discussing. The thread I saw was a cross representation of society, with high earners, low earners and average to middle earners. High earners were in the minority,

I'd say people are less likely to post they are high earners on here, because as the responses show, they are accused of being liars, trolls , boastful and goady.

The ops thread alone demonstrates this, because as said, the recent thread on income was not remotely like she is describing.

I wish someone would link to the bedroom thread. That sounds hilarious.

Oh, it really really was!

Here you go

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2843786--to-see-what-your-master-bedroom-looks-like?pg=6

I have never been well paid or even ' comfortable ' I count myself lucky if I manage to stay out of my overdraft at the end of the month.. lived on it for years!!
I work full time in a valuable job supporting children in school with their emotional wellbeing...

Incidentally, the Paris hotel room wasn’t the only stolen photo on that thread, hence my earlier comment about not taking everything you read in here at face value.

For every genuine comment, there’s a fantasist playing out a fantasy life because their reality isn’t what they want it to be.

I work in debt collection and learned that the only people who are well off are those who live within their means v

Whenever an ‘how much do you earn’ type thread comes up, I always try not to click on it. Then I do, out of morbid curiosity and end up feeling like shite and swearing off Mumsnet for a bit. I always come crawling back, but YANBU.

Depends on where you live tbh. £60k a year for someone living in the South sounds pretty good to a Northerner, but the cost of living down South is so much higher so probably isn’t all that great.

@ilovemytumbledryer of course you’re allowed to be wealthy and a high earner on here if you are telling the truth about it. If you are a well know exaggerator, fantasist or downright Billy-bullshitter then you will be mocked. It goes with the territory 😆.

@Livelovebehappy, “the South” covers a very large area. £60k in most of the South-West would be a bloody fortune. You are thinking of a part of the south. There is a whole country outside London and the south-east, and there’s not a big line across the middle that separates “north” from “south”.

I feel sorry for anyone from Wales or the Midlands on here; they must sometimes wonder if they even exist 😉.

I live in the south east (but not London) and £60k is loads! I know plenty of people who earn less than that and have lovely lives. Unless you meant joint household income? Though that's still pretty good!

I work part time and earn about £17.5k. DH earns a lot more though which I appreciate but also kinda hate!

It's reassuring to read this thread. I think you have to remember as one PP pointed out that MN is quite south-east centric and there is a north/south divide in terms of property costs. We are earning below the national average each, but over in terms if household income as we both work full time. We still cant get on property ladder as we live in the south, but could easily in the north east. We are in a 2 bed flat with two kids (albeit a nice one and still reluctant to move) and drive one £600 car and I buy secondhand or sale clothes where I can and everything is bought on gumtree first if possible (good for planet as well as purse!). Our earnings would look good to some people on less, but I guarantee at first glance you would assume they have a higher household income if they have their own house and a newer car. We aren't in debt, they might be. Parents might be helping out.

Step away from Instagram and facebook. It's designed to make you feel crap and get in debt. Best thing I ever did.

Not gonna give our household income on this thread, frankly I’m baffled why anyone is using it as a space to share that info when the OP didn’t ask and the whole point she’s making is how shit it makes her feel to see which does kinda lend credence to the idea that some people relish any opportunity to share those details lol.

But I have contributed on those threads before (I NC regularly), my reasoning being that if someone has asked then why not? If I’m honest there’s definitely an element of I dunno... bragging maybe? Not sure. I feel like it’s more that I’m proud and it still feels like a novelty to me to be able to say I’m earning the amount I am, because up until a few years ago I was the poster earning £12k sinking into debt, but over the past few years due to a combo of returning to uni, changing careers, throwing myself into a new line of work, getting a DRO, meeting a similarly ambitious guy, I’m now earning several times my prior salary and combined with OH our household income feels like riches. And i think it always will no matter what anyone else earns cos I’m comparing it to having not enough money to cover the rent and servicing debts and being miserable due to money worries while many of my friendship group had already entered professional careers and were doing loads of things I couldn’t have dreamed of (all going on holiday to Japan for example).

It’s not always the case that high earners have no clue how little some people have to live on. I’m sure there are others like me who were incredibly low earners for a long time and then made it out of that cycle. But you wouldn’t know that based purely on me giving my household income today.

I hear ya anyway OP. It’s shit. I remember well talking to a friend who got a promotion a few years back saying their new salary was £30k (I asked!) and being absolutely astounded anyone could ever earn that amount of money for anything. I’d been brought up in an environment where you were just assumed to go from school into a NMW shop job and that’d be that forever. Didn’t know any professionals etc.

Do you see any way out? Any options for improving your skill set or education or career prospects? I had pretty bad depression for periods of time (both during being skint and during being better off) and have a serious chronic pain condition that causes a lot of fatigue from the drugs I’m on every day (morphine) and it was bloody hard work combating those two physical and mental issues to find a route out of poverty but looking back I’m so glad I did (I know not everyone can... but sometimes there are possibilities you may not have noticed).

I didn't post my income because it's so bad

Exactly, what are the odds most others felt the same.

Also, don't believe everything you read online, I've been on other forums where literally the whole life of someone I thought I knew was a complete lie, even down to the pet they had and where they lived. It happens quite often.
There's nobody to check up on it, people can be who they want, no doubt some are living their fantasy lives on here.

Other than the known bullshitters however I don’t really think it’s true that many or most of the people sharing high salaries are just making it up, what would they have to gain? Especially on a site like MN where a household income of £100k+ is nothing out of the ordinary to write home about? I think it’s more likely that better off people are the ones more likely to share that info so it looks like it’s a crazy disproportionate amount who are wealthy. And perhaps MN attracts more well off people for some reason.

Truly rich people, especially those who've always had money, tend never to discuss how much they've got, or what they've got, because it's no big deal to them. They're used to it. No one would brag about having, say, a toilet - because we all have one and are used to it- so it's similar to that

And rich people usually play down how much money they have, because besides being seen as vulgar discussing personal finances, most truly rich people are incredibly shrewd and don't like people asking them for loans.

And truly rich people are often quite mean with their money, and will even pretend they have much less.

They love a bargain too! They'll also find ways to "hide" how much they've really got, and consult specialists to find out how to pay the least amount of income tax as possible

Truly rich people are notoriously bad tippers, too...

They never flaunt their wealth; they do the opposite because they don't want to lose it by attracting hangers-on and people asking them for loans

Truly rich people who are nice never show off to those with much less than them; they find it embarrassing because they understand it could make the less well-off person feel dissatisfied

An extreme example would be: visiting a third world country where people are starving and begging on the streets for food, and sitting in front of them gorging on a huge juicy steak. You just wouldn't do it, would you...

All braggers are inadequate in some way, and they all exaggerate