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Original poster

To feel very poor after recent thread

339 replies

Clappingforjoy · 06/09/2019 21:48

Recent thread on here where posters where revealing their income got me really fed up that I must be one of the lowest earners around and it made me feel like failure failure.
Is everybody well off on mumsnet or something where are these people that have to use food banks because all I ever see is people with brand new cars, going on holidays nice houses etc etc i find it mind boggling.

OP posts:
littlemissdynamite · 08/09/2019 22:27

@flirtygirl

jellybeansincognito its not all relative at all and I hate it when people say this.

The people on 70k have double and more than the people on 30k. If they then choose to spend most of it, then that is their choice but it's not all relative as they never had the same starting point.

The 30k earner cannot make the same decisions and choices as the 70k earner.

It's all relative is a cop out.

Agree with this.

DreamTheMoors · 08/09/2019 22:51

Aniceluxury

“High earners have a tendency to overspend”

That’s painting with a broad brush. While I’m not in that category, the high earners I know invest their incomes wisely. They live in beautiful homes, they drive nice cars, vacation only occasionally and invest in stocks & bonds and donate generously to charity.
They are extremely careful about using their hard-earned incomes.
I’d also be very discerning if I were a high earner.

DreamTheMoors · 08/09/2019 22:58

@RoseHippy1
Thank you for this question. I don’t understand pp posting these remarks.
The high earners I know are very smart with their money & use it wisely.
And also - if they want to blow off a little cash it’s because they can afford to.

Jellybeansincognito · 08/09/2019 23:11

@flirtygirl why can’t they make the same decisions?

PickAChew · 08/09/2019 23:50

I’ve lived in London and know £60k is not very much

Yet is still very far from minimum wage or even a living wage, even in London, and very far from what the majority of people earn.

PickAChew · 09/09/2019 00:08

@Tessabelle DH earns a good (but not high rate tax) income and we're both Hmm at people balking at cleaning their house, themselves.The way some people post, you get the feeling that they spill food, serving up dinner, and leave it for three days until their cleaner next visits because they can't possibly lift a finger. Or there's fluff or crumbs on the carpet, but they won't clean it up because they don't have a vaccum cleaner because that's the cleaner' job.

Rainbowknickers · 09/09/2019 01:01

My fella has just lost his job but was on about 20k a year
I work 16-25 hours a week and earn £8.62 an hour (I get paid from when I clock in to clocking out but he was on a salary)
Between us we have 8 kids and are still supporting 5 of them
We claim child benefit which isn’t much but we make it work
Would we be happier if we had more money?
I don’t know-but we have each other so at richer than money anyway
Although I fully understand you can’t pay the rent with love!

Marshmallow91 · 09/09/2019 02:28

OP, I'm stuck on disability benefits because I'm too ill to work. Had to give up my career. I'll only ever rent, I doubt I'll afford to drive and will always struggle month to month. We're not all millionaires.

Ilikethisone · 09/09/2019 07:01

why can’t they make the same decisions?

You can not be unaware that money brings choices.

People on lower incomes often get into debt, for day to day bills. Debt isnt always a choice for low income families. And once they start it's harder to get out. .
If you are on a high income and you choose to blow your money every month, after Bill's on luxuries. That's a choice.

Low income families arenr choosing to blow their money on luxuries and live pay check to pay check. That's the only way they can survive.

taxiforme · 09/09/2019 07:39

Agree with other posters

  • some on here are fibbing
  • don’t forget that some, like me, may be ahem “mature” and have worked for 30 years
  • wealth is relative

You can be rich in many ways. I have a friend who came off really well in her divorce ( and she was the one having the affair) with 800k and her mortgage paid off and she continues to be the most miserable tight arse!

diddlesticks · 09/09/2019 07:41

Oh we're scraping by every month. It's hard. I never post on those threads as I too feel I shouldn't. I guess I'm part of the problem, sorry OP.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/09/2019 09:20

This isn’t my quote. I wish it was.

Some people are so poor all they have is money

EmeraldShamrock · 09/09/2019 10:01

Some rich people have lots of money from hard work.
So what if rich people have cleaners and wrap around child care with private schools.
Most work hard and deserve to take the pressure off concentrating on their job.
You cant do it all.
Many Surgeons, Scientist, Barristers all serving the public.
It is assumed with lots of money brings spoilt snobby behaviour.
I spoke to a gentleman in work, he came from one of the most affluent places in Dublin, loads of money but his skills were priceless he is a paediatric neuro surgeon, yes he is loaded no worries about bills but he uses his great brain to help others.
We are all different yet the same rich or poor.

EmeraldShamrock · 09/09/2019 10:04

If I was rich I wouldn't have a cleaner, I'd have a live in house keeper x 2.

Crustytoenail · 09/09/2019 13:12

Some rich people have lots of money from hard work.

I don't resent 'rich people' I don't really resent the above quote, however I do resent the implication that comes with it sometimes that 'poor people' don't work hard and that's why they're poor.
I realise the pp that said it didn't actually say that, but it is an assumption (especially on MN threads I find) that someone hasn't tried hard enough, is lazy, has no aspirations and that's why they're in a low paying job. Some may well be, but for a lot more they are also hard working, in fact some of the lowest paid jobs are the hardest to do - care work being a prime example.
If we're lumping people into 'rich' and 'poor', the rich people tend to conveniently forget that they use the services of the (working) 'poor' regularly. When they do their shopping, when they need childcare, when an elderly relative needs care, when they go out for a meal. Yet some still feel entitled to make the assumption that someone in that type of low paid job just hasn't tried hard enough, look down upon them and moreover say as much.
I really wish that's what would stop. That judging by the size of your wage. I go above and beyond for my job, most shifts, but because I'm on a low wage, it's not important.

FFSDH · 09/09/2019 13:54

My dh does work really hard, but there’s no way he works any harder than a carer does over the same time period. He earns a ridiculous amount of money but is a right miserable bastard.

Funguy · 09/09/2019 15:01

Good news is I am poor. Also you never know if people are truthful. I live with my DP in a very affluent area ( Surrey) and it's very hard for us to manage. Id like to move away and I would love us to afford our own place.I am middle aged and last year I was rendered homeless and redundant by a charity I worked for. The members were all on very high incomes with nice homes and did not understand and did not help us. Not that I was expecting them to.
Let's hope our fortune's improve. My partner was slow starter, being an academic type with a sweet nature. But he is doing ok inasmuch as he's been offered another job and we are hoping it as more progression. Me, I work very part time as am disabled. xxx

Funguy · 09/09/2019 15:05

PS. I do think a lot of affluent people work very hard, no denying. But many have also inheritances and may have come from silver spoon backgrounds. Statistics show that 'good' education ( high achieving )expensive education makes confident high earners. I would like to see schools supporting even more less affluent children on scholarships etc. and more help for the vulnerable

onioncrumble · 09/09/2019 15:22

I do have a live in housekeeper. If I had stayed in the UK I wouldn't. It's an easy sum.

Ilikethisone · 09/09/2019 15:24

The working hard is a difficult one. I have seen people on here saying high earners are so through luck. High earners often feel that devalues the work thats been put in.

But luck does come into it. I had a poor education. Bad home life. Got married young (to an abusive arse) , had kids and ended up working in call centre cause the shifts suited.

I really really enjoyed and progressed. I am lucky that I had an amazing mentor etc. I did work hard, I am not a high earner. But ok. Until a few months ago I was pay check to pay check as a single parent.

While I have put hard work in. I am not working any harder than I was last year. Or working harder than some people who earn less.

I have had shit times and now am good. Luck did come into it.

Orangecake123 · 09/09/2019 15:24

I'm a student studying for my second degree.

Apart from money from parents/relatives, I have no real income and won't for the next two years until I start working.

But I don't see myself as poor. I have a roof over my head, enough money to buy food and that's all I need. I have bought two items of new clothing in the past two years. (running shoes and gloves as I lost my other pair). I don't buy books, clothing, home decorations or things just because I want them.

BBOA · 09/09/2019 16:00

There was someone on here asking whether they should take a 50k salary cut.... Think for a job abroad.... I just thought they were a totally self indulgent asshole! Who does that?! You are not alone!

EmeraldShamrock · 09/09/2019 16:21

When I said rich people work hard I meant it is not necessarily inheritance or luck.
I know poor people work hard if anything they work harder and rarely get satisfaction.
DP and I work hard but we're still on the bread line, if either of us lost our badly paid jobs we'd be screwed in weeks.

ncforthisthread1 · 09/09/2019 16:23

BBOA

What made them a self indulgent arsehole in your view?

Metempsychosis · 09/09/2019 16:56

People ask all sorts of things on MN - I don’t see why a query about life choices is out of bounds because it involves high salaried jobs, or why people who are earning large amounts should be expected to keep it a secret. I tend to agree with PPs who say that telling the truth about money is a feminist issue. It’s important to know how the other half live, in each direction. Well off people need to be informed/reminded what life is like living from hand to mouth, but it does nobody any good to pretend that eighteen grand is an average FT salary and the people claiming to earn over forty are making it up.