To feel very poor after recent thread

[Clappingforjoy]

Recent thread on here where posters where revealing their income got me really fed up that I must be one of the lowest earners around and it made me feel like failure failure.
Is everybody well off on mumsnet or something where are these people that have to use food banks because all I ever see is people with brand new cars, going on holidays nice houses etc etc i find it mind boggling.

Not read all the replies, but the ting you have to remember with MN is that we're not all the same.
Never had to use a food bank bit on the same hand could never afford to go abroad. Would be pushing a tent on a campsite at the minute!
MN isn't automatically like RL.
Just shows a skewed version, that's all

I have had friends and family reveal their wages/income/ debt at different points over the years some are bragging and some are showing how hard up they are. In all those revelations neither myself or DH have ever told anyone how much we earn, owe or spend.

Well people are only going to want to share if they earn a wad, this website is full of boasting. As for new cars and holidays, most new cars are on finance, I don't know anyone who has paid for an expensive new car outright. A lot of people are in debt too. People only share the bits they want people to see(or read about on here), mumsnet is a lot like Facebook for that. I wouldn't judge myself against anyone. We aren't the richest family either, but there are a hell of a lot of people a lot worse off than anyone sat on here posting from a device on the Internet. Perspective!

I think it's very bad form,for people who are very high earners,to divulge what they earn,even when asked on here. And then they might tell you about their cars and all their expensive holidays , and all the rest of the luxury things they own. It doesn't mean that they are all perfect and happy, it just means that they think all the money,and superficial trappings will make them happier.

People saying that the threads about high earners are baggy, are not always correct.

There was a thread recently, asking who earns above what had been published the 'average'

It was actually very informative and helpful for women.

People like to label talking about money as bragging. But the fact is, one small part of the gender pay gap, is because we dont talk about it. Women are less likely to negotiate a wage rise or a better wage o accepting a job.

People who earn more were saying what they did and how they got there.

Labelling it as bragging is trying, to shut the converstation down.

Yeah some threads may be bragging. Some threads have people lying. But talking about money, wages and career progression isn't always a bad thing

Well people are only going to want to share if they earn a wad, this website is full of boasting

I don't agree with this. There are Ron's odd threads where people seem to competing to prove they have less than everyone else. The mumsnet chicken, that inexplicably deed a family of 4 for a week, is an example.

Its become a joke. You see it all the time 'you have £50 a week for food.....consider yourself lucky. I do it on £35 and have 3 dogs and five cats!'.

Ha ha. I would love to earn as much as 22k. You are not alone OP. I am also a low earner.

I think it depend on the thread. There have been threads before like if you earn over £100k what do you do. Those can be useful if women are looking at which careers tend to pay better.
However, some posters on some of the threads really are bragging or telling half the story, others are genuinely well off but don’t say much.

I’m in a council house, on benefits and a single mum. And I’m terrified to say it on here because everyone seems to be doing so much better than me and they have preconceived ideas. But the truth is the only reason that my life is this way now is because I left my abusive ex, so whilst I may not be wealthy I’m definitely happier.

I also know for a fact there are some serious bullshitters around. There was a classic thread where people were posting picture of their bedrooms. Someone posted a very luxurious room, another poster googled it and found it had come from a hotel website hmm. It was complete fiction.

I remember that 😂 think their username was crumbs1 or something. Even when they got caught they pretended that an interior design magazine had taken photographs of their bedroom as inspiration for a hotel chain designer and that’s why their bedroom photo was all over google images haha.

You are not poor.

The most miserable people that I have ever encountered on this planet were rich, very rich.

You cannot buy contentment. Focus on yourself and your life and your blessings.

Most people you meet in life will go to great lengths to convince you that they have more money than they actually have.

In the immortal words of Torah Wilcox...... apart from me and Tom everyone else can fuck off.

Be happy. Value what you have. Live love laugh. I wish you mountains of love.

The thing is, Clapping. This is an anonymous website. Where we can all pretend to be whatever we like.
It’s very easy very easy indeed for people to make out they were a billionaire at 16 and they paid cash for their 10 bed room on suite in each 4 reception rooms indoor and out door swimming pools and 7 cars each one a different colour for everyday of the week at age 18.
In reality though. No one knows what goes on behind key boards.

God we earn £40k and £36k but still are poor.

You really aren't.

I work 40 hours for 24k. Am in debt to the tune of about 12k and on a debt management plan so can't get anything else credit wise which is good in a way.

I love in a house with dp which he owns. I had a car and sold it when it was starting to cost more money than its worth. I literally own nothing of value. Never get hair done, nails done anything like that maybe once a year or with birthday money if I'm lucky.

We currently have £50 in the bank to last us three weeks, two weddings to attend and a dd who's going to need the next size clothes this month. That means a borrow off family which will massively dent my pride and put us in the same shit next month. From what I see of friends and family, a lot of us are in the same boat.

Sorry I haven't RTFT.
If it's any consolation, I trained to be a secondary school teacher but life had other plans so now I stay at home, my OH earns 23k (3DC)
We scrape by but still manage to afford what's important and make up for the rest with time, commitment etc.
My car is 17yrs old and my favourite clothes are from Cancer Research etc.

When I see huge disparity in earnings here on MN and showy social media posts, I shrug it off.
There's pleasure to be had in some very unusually places that cost nothing!

I think the OP mentioned this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3671172-29-5k-earnings-who-are-you-and-how

It depends op I earned significantly more before having my son. But I changed jobs to be with him more and see him grow up.
I could afford if I hadn't a posh car and better house but what would be the point? I'd miss my sons first few years of life and be exhausted.
People have different values n beliefs about what's important. The older I get the more I value being happy over a massive career etc etc. I pay my bills, I ahve some spare income which I save.
The cost of income is spiraling so being frugal is a good thing, or at least that's the way I see it.

Also I know people who earn a fortune, my exh included, but they are on the hamster wheel of better car and better house. His mortgage alone is hideously expensive due to the show house.
It's fine if that's what people want as it there choice. But often people on high income are not happier as have stressful jobs no free time and spiraling expenses.
50k in London won't buy you more than 22 k in some. Places up north in many ways.

As others have said don't believe all you read or see.
I once knew a lovely family. Mum, Dad and 3 children. Brand new luxury cars annually for each parent. Beautiful new home bought, decorated to a high standard. Shopped at Harvey Nicks. Luxury lifestyle. Big party to celebrate their new home.
It was all fake.
I started work in debt collection. And by chance his name came onto my screen as a phone call. I had to speak to him ( he didn't know me well enough to recognize my voice) about a debt, as I'm talking to him numerous other debts are there in his records. Cards, loans, overdrafts. He was unpleasant, rude, arrogant and nasty. Paying £1 to £5 a month on each debt. Said he couldn't afford more.
What an eye opener. They were the golden family.
All that glitters is not gold.

I'm poor af.

I feel especially poor when I go on the Style and Beauty board, and everyone is asking or suggesting what to wear with all these ££££ clothes ect.

Haha @FFSDH £22k would be a fortune for a lot of us!

I know exactly the thread you mean OP, and I think you were maybe dazzled by the some of the ridiculously huge salaries, because there were plenty of working poor posting on there, me included. I always fell the need to post on those types of threads, because I feel that a lot of well-paid MNers live in cloud cuckoo land, in that they just don’t realise how little some people are paid.

I think it’s important that they see that the person that scans their shopping, looks after their granny or their baby, makes their coffee or paints their nails can’t actually afford the basic necessities in life like rent and food and travel to work.

And I have zero fucking sympathy for anyone claiming to be poor on a joint income of £76000. You are a disgrace.

For anyone really struggling with debt, please look at Christians against Poverty, they are amazing.

They saved me from the brink of despair and also provide emotional support.

I earn £13500 a year after tax. DH does earn more but has got us in to a lot of debt which we will be paying off for years. Once it is paid off we will be comfortable because I now control the finances and will save like a crazy thing but it is years off yet :(