To feel very poor after recent thread

[Clappingforjoy]

Recent thread on here where posters where revealing their income got me really fed up that I must be one of the lowest earners around and it made me feel like failure failure.
Is everybody well off on mumsnet or something where are these people that have to use food banks because all I ever see is people with brand new cars, going on holidays nice houses etc etc i find it mind boggling.

likethisone

Yes totally agree about the pension date changing!! I have to work till I’m 67 up until I was 40 I thought is was going to be 60!! So for me another seven years to work before state pension!! But luckily I’m still very fit an not really ready to give up work in 2021. But your mums right we were told one thing then the goal post changed. But still think we have had a good run!!

Again I think anyone born after1970 will have to work much longer then age 67.

The most miserable couple I know are high earners. They constantly post their amazing lives on social media - their huge house, top of the range cars, extremely expensive dream wedding, Maldives honeymoon etc but the reality is that despite their high income, they are in debt and have a very unhappy relationship with each other and their families. Despite having so much money coming in, they can't afford time off as they have thrown away money on some of the most ridiculous things and have so many credit cards to repay. As long as everything looks good on the outside though, that's all that matters. It baffles me! My husband and I used to be relatively high earners, not the same as aforementioned couple but still a substantial income. I was working in a well paid but stressful job and we had the luxury of family watching our DC so no childcare expenses. My Mum then became very unwell and our whole lives turned upside down. I decided that I needed less stress and more family time in my life and I wanted a job that I actually enjoyed. I retrained for a year and got a job in a local playgroup, dropped my hours to 20 a week and took a massive drop in salary too. We then had the added expensive of a childminder for DS. We are now pretty skint all of the time but we have such a lovely work/life balance and thankfully my Mum is still with us and fighting every day. Money can make things easier but it is not what defines a happy life

Where is this thread please?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3671172-29-5k-earnings-who-are-you-and-how

It's already been linked to. It's this one it seems,

Thank you @colourlessgreenidea

But I can't find her explanation after being caught out!

But I can't find her explanation after being caught out!

She didn’t give an explanation - she continued to insist that it was her bedroom, despite the fact the same room was all over the internet as a hotel room

Maybe my app is glitching as I can only see one post about having friends living in an area of France and then asking why she'd name change. Nothing else.

The protestations might not have Ben on that thread. From memory, the issue if the ‘bedroom’ picture was raised every time that poster posted for quite a long time (because of the hilarious desperation, and in light of a few other equally questionable claims to a ‘high life’), though in every instance she insisted it was indeed her bedroom. This culminated in her posting a picture of a large house, taken from some bushes, as proof that she did indeed live somewhere fancy enough to have hotel bedroom as her bedroom.

Sadly, many of those threads have since been deleted. But some of us have long memories

I find it really depressing that when women state they earn a high wage, other women assume lots of them are lying and all of them are bragging.

Surely if a thread asks for your wage and you state it, you are responding to the question, not bragging.

I find it inspiring to hear how much other women earn and how they got that wage. It doesn't make me feel bitter or upset.

neverornow

Can I ask what courses you took. Trying to do this myself. I'm looking in to learning Python and have bought a cheap online course, but time is an issue with two young kids. Just want to make sure I'm looking to learn in the right area. Thanks for sharing your experience. I think it really helps others like the OP and myself.

@EnglishRose13 she doesn’t explain. She just says nothing and then comes back on another thread with a different fantasy and people just lap it up (except they don’t...they mostly just ignore her now because she’s an embarrassment).

@blue25, as I’ve said several (!) times in this thread, no one is saying that every woman who claims a high salary is bragging or lying. I’m as happy as you are that women have the power and the ability to earn as much, or more than men, and to have interesting and fulfilling careers.

The point being made (laboured) is that certain people lie over and over on thread after thread. They are the ones that are the issue.

You might have said that @gingersausage, but if you re-read the thread, particularly early on, lots of posters generalise that people who say they earn well are bragging or lying. And they say lots/most are.

The mention of just a few repeat offenders doesn't come in until the end, and from different posters like yourself.

@julia3006 thank you!

Bluntness, thanks for posting the link to the other thread.

I can't see any bragging about it, in any case we don't know eachother's names and addresses. I could say I earn £350,000 pa, have a Porsche and a penthouse :-). (I don't.)

Already said I am retired, on pension. However, when I did work, and I gave up early aged 51 (2001), I was on about £19,000 pa and was quite happy with that. I certainly didn't resent anyone who earned more than me, never thought about it. I accept that people better qualified and maybe choosing to work all sorts of hours will earn more, that's life. We all have choices. I liked my job.

I felt the same when I saw that post/thread. Felt like replying to it, “are you taking the piss?” when they declared their 6 figure salary. And other people dived in to declare their similar sums. I felt like I must be living in an alternate universe. Or gave messed up badly somewhere along the way.
I don’t earn anywhere near those sums and neither does my partner. We know people who earn a lot more, and people who earn a little less. Everyone I guess lives to their means. We almost doubled our mortgage when 👶🏻 came along, but we are just about managing because we are (now) sensible with money. But like a lot of people, because we have stretched ourselves financially we have little in savings. Foreign holidays are no longer an annual expectation (as they once were). My pension is practically non-existent (hello old age poverty!). We are the living that dreadful term “the squeezed middle” . There is little buffer between us and hardship but we are in a better position than a lot if people. And we are happy, and that’s priceless!

Like some of the other posters have said, there’s probably a good few Billy Bullsh*tters on here, plus just cause someone’s earning loads doesn’t mean they don’t have loads of debt, or god knows what else going on in their finances. Plus you always tend to spend to what you earn, as earning increases, so do what you consider essential items for you way of life.
Life’s unfair especially when it comes to earnings. But as long as you are healthy and happy you are rich in more important ways.

I just think that even if you have household income of say 100k and are edging into say top 10% then one in 10 MNetters will have a household income higher. So 50% are likely to have higher than average salary and 50% below. I consider myself to be really well off but my personal salary is way way below some mnetters.

I think also there's the regional stuff and life expectations, plus outgoings. One person may have no mortgage and another a mortgage of 500k, the first clearly will be well off on lower income.

Plus you always tend to spend to what you earn, as earning increases, so do what you consider essential items for you way of life.

Well some people do, I think this is a massive generalisation personally.

Maybe, Teatea. I know if me and husband were in very highly paid jobs when we were younger, I would have enjoyed spending :-). We were more 'middling' I suppose and at earlier stages were very hard up. I always feel glad for young people who don't have those struggles, they'll have plenty of others.

See I have always liked small outgoings. Even though I earn a lot more now than when I moved into this house. I enjoy small out goings. Not a huge earner, though

I live very much as I did before. But then I suppose having been absolutely skint, single parent, I am aware that financial security and small outgoings make my life so much easier.

We have a high income coming into the house and I shop in charity shops. So I don’t think all people spend what they have. Some people are just naturally frugal.

Oh I love charity shops too. I've bought some lovely things from them. I am not frugal by nature, though. I don't spend too much now because I don't go out that often but have always liked spending.

Bound to be a variance. I earn £100k but we live to that level. If I lost my job we would be fucked.

We waste a lot, £900 a month on our fags , £500 a month on booze etc

I have no academic qualifications either failed the two O levels I took and only have professional qualifications, guess I was in the right place at the right time for the jo. I have now which I have been doing for 20 years. It is an international clinical role.