To not take the DSC out with again to a meal in the near future?

[SulaHula]

DSC are picky and always have been. We took them to an activity they both wanted to do and stopped at a drive thru diner for food on the way. They are very limited in what they will eat but we went over the menu together and this seemed safe as it was a burger and chips kind of place. DSS ordered a burger, chips and milkshake. DSD ordered a fried chicken sandwich, chips and milkshake. They only ate the chips and binned the rest having taken one bite/sip. It's such a HUGE waste of food and money. There are six of us in total and meals out aren't cheap. It kills me to watch yet another meal make its way into the bin. I've told DH I just don't want to take them out again any time soon as I'm just sick of it. He thinks IABU. I've said we should just take pack ups for them when we do days out. AIBU?

Just a thought, as we have a mix of autistic/vegetarian/no spices/love spices/carnivores etc in the house.
I use serving dishes, some quite small. So people can have a taste, or a large portion and no food is wasted. I found it encouraged people to be more adventurous.
It sounds as if your step children are a mixture of fussy, taking the piss and wasteful. So positive strategies need planning, rather than confrontational or just giving up. And their father needs to be a main part of this.

OP has been hit from both angles by the bad behaviour from stepchildren apologists and fussy eating apologists. So many unreasonable posts on this thread.

The children's behaviour was clearly very rude. OP would have had completely different responses if she had said that the children were hers.

They CHOSE their meals. A burger is a burger. They are old enough to know what they like when the order their food.

Why should OP and the other children have to compromise and eat shit, heavily processed food all the time because the SC dictate that this is the only food they will eat? You never hear a fussy eater say 'I only eat vegetables and refuse to go near chicken nuggets and chips', the fussiness is always led by wanting to eat shit.

Just don't eat out with them, OP.

DSS sounds like a nightmare, and his behaviour (throwing strops etc) needs to be managed. But if he has food issues and is being forced to eat out - as per Granny's birthday, or the trip to the drive thru - then being annoyed at the waste of food is pointless emotional energy on your part. He was never going to enjoy or eat it. But he had to order a meal - because "chips is not a meal", or because you can't go for a special birthday meal out and not order anything at all and sit there with no food. So really he had no choice (if he genuinely has issues) to have it all "go in the bin".

Stop putting yourself and him in that situation as far as is possible.

Packed lunches - which the DC and your DH can help to organise.
Birthday meals for others - tell MIL it would be better to eat at home or go out just with you and DH.

etc.

And at 16 he is old enough to manage his reactions to things politely, so he must be allowed to say "I'm sorry I don't think I'll be able to eat that, but please don't worry about me, I'll eat before/after/bring something along." That's what he needed to do with his girlfriend.
THAT is the part your DH should be working on - getting him to manage the social issues surrounding not being able to join in with a meal others have cooked.

Hear hear @57gingersausage

And McDonalds' allergy information has always been first class.

A burger is a burger.

Ignorance is ignorance.

He ordered sausages and mash. They put gravy on it so he wouldn't touch it. They brought a whole new order minus the gravy because just brushing it aside isn't an option. He decided he didn't like the sausages and it all went in the bin minus one bite. DH's mother was furious at the waste

I would have been livid at this OP. Is he the older of the two? Throwing strops is not on when it's somebody else's birthday meal, he should have been on his best behaviour and been polite. The fact that your MIL was furious means that he has ruined her birthday meal. It's clear that it is being enabled because after the first specially made meal came out, he should not have been allowed to complain for the second time and bought something else, it should have been "you can have a sandwich when we get home then".

He sounds very rude and selfish.

There must be some McDonalds PR people on here....or people have really believed the marketing messages. There isn't much worse that you can put in your body than high salt unbelievably processed meat. It's not really up for debate.

Eat before you go out, take pack up or just get chips. If they didn’t like the burgers, is there a particular place they do like the food? Maybe go there?

You would be unreasonable to not take them out. They are your Dh’s children!

Well, whether they eat it or not it still cost the same, first world problem.

It's not healthy to force anybody to eat food that they don't want to eat. The business meal analogy is nonsense.

I never suggested forcing anybody to eat food that they don't want to eat (even if they are nearly adults and chose to order that food, suggesting that they did want it).

Why is the business meal scenario nonsense? Would you really respect a colleague or employee who ordered food at a restaurant that they jointly chose and then made a scene and refused to eat it? Nobody's forcing them, of course, but it's not going to make the best impression on people whose decisions might have a direct bearing on their earning capabilities.

As for McDonalds, I completely get that the provenance of their food and their hygiene are sound.

I just know that it tastes of very little (apart from the sauce), is extremely salty, goes cold almost instantly and leaves me with a throbbing headache and feeling very unsatisfied afterwards.

I presume it's as a result of their processing methods. Don't they cook from frozen in a minute or so? I know that I wouldn't want to own a food business where I felt the need to pay for advertising to reassure people that my chicken dishes don't contain beaks.

Their convenience, opening hours, hygiene and prices are indeed very good. I just prefer to eat somewhere, be it a 'proper' restaurant, quality fast food joint, greasy spoon cafe or burger van, where the food tastes good, leaves me satisfied afterwards and doesn't give me a headache. I don't even care if it's terribly unhealthy now and again for a special treat, but, like the OP, I too wouldn't personally consider McDonalds as an option when deciding to go somewhere to eat.

No I’m definitely not PR. I’m a vegetarian so I never eat there 🤣. I just think it’s bloody stupid to think that wanky SoHo or whatever fancy name chain restaurant burgers are any better than Maccies. Plus I can’t get my head around wanting to chuck out £100 worth of food rather than £20 worth just to prove a point. That is the definition of profligacy somehow.

If Soho House burgers don't have salt in them, no wonder they are rank.

@gingersausage You're misinformed and just plain wrong. A McDonalds hamburger has a huge list of nasty ingredients that you won't find in most hamburgers. A McDonalds hamburger is as processed as you can get. Of course it isn't the same bloody thing.

McDonald's beefburger, 100% Beef with a pinch of salt and pepper. Stated on their UK website. Pretty sure they're not lying. because they'd be sued

NO I’M FUCKING NOT

A McDonalds hamburger has a huge list of nasty ingredients that you won't find in most hamburgers.

Got any proof of that?

Ironically I was a massive supporter of the McLibel people, fantastic people. And their case. But pretending burgers from expensive places are somehow health food and McD's is poison is ridiculous.

McDonald’s burger: 100% fucking beef with a pinch of fucking salt and pepper. Cooked between 2 hot plates with no added fat.

From the UK McDonald’s website:

Beef Patty

100% Pure Beef.
No additives, fillers, binders, preservatives or flavour enhancers. Just pure forequarter and flank. A little salt and pepper is added to season after cooking

Would you really respect a colleague or employee who ordered food at a restaurant that they jointly chose and then made a scene and refused to eat it?

I don’t know why you think this would happen.

Moving away from the Macdonalds discussion.
what is your relationship with their mum like?

A joint effort should be made to move the conversation on to politeness and being rude.
It isn't about forcing them to eat liver and onions or other specific ingredients, it is about being in a normal restaurant environment and knowing something you would like to order.

Loads of adults have burgers with no mayo or extra onions or whatever, encourage them to have something up their sleeves that they agree to order even if it is a green salad with chicken no dressing, or the like.
Agree a strategy with all involved in a calm way.
They are old enough to be part of the solution.

A McDonalds hamburger has a huge list of nasty ingredients that you won't find in most hamburgers.

This may have been true once upon a time.

And they’re not gourmet fare,

But a drive-thru diner burger isn’t actually going to be world’s better in terms of health and nutrition than a McDonald’s burger, which are now just 100% beef, and neither should form more of a healthy diet than an occasional treat.

I think the SoHo House burgers are probably way more calorific and therefore more unhealthy if you looked at it that way.

I hate McDonalds food myself and never go there. But I don’t think it’s awful, I just don’t like it at all. It would be as much of a waste of money for me if someone paid for a McD’s as it was for you paying for the posh burger.

Keto from the McDs website the beef is “pure forequarter and flank”. No nostrils or bum holes!