To not take the DSC out with again to a meal in the near future?

[SulaHula]

DSC are picky and always have been. We took them to an activity they both wanted to do and stopped at a drive thru diner for food on the way. They are very limited in what they will eat but we went over the menu together and this seemed safe as it was a burger and chips kind of place. DSS ordered a burger, chips and milkshake. DSD ordered a fried chicken sandwich, chips and milkshake. They only ate the chips and binned the rest having taken one bite/sip. It's such a HUGE waste of food and money. There are six of us in total and meals out aren't cheap. It kills me to watch yet another meal make its way into the bin. I've told DH I just don't want to take them out again any time soon as I'm just sick of it. He thinks IABU. I've said we should just take pack ups for them when we do days out. AIBU?

We order one meal and split it for then

Just order them chips! Why get yourself so worked up over it? I just got get this. I have two autistic children who have very restricted diets. My Dad used to get so angry and worked over it. Just let them eat what they want while encouraging better choices where possible. I honestly don't understand why people get so angry about it. Very controlling if you ask me especially as they are not even your children.

I'd have eaten the burger, sandwiche and milkshakes and let the youngsters eat the chips, no need to throw anything away.

It is a waste, but I don't agree that children should be forced to eat everything on their plate due to "waste". Sometimes they get full and it's based on an adult's arbitrary judgement of what is a reasonable portion.

It's also hard when you don't eat one or two things that are in everything. For example, I hate both vinegar and mayonnaise. This means 9/10 ready made sandwiches are out, and this is always what is provided for corporate lunches where I work. Ready prepared salads have vinegar-based dressing. It means I can't eat a jacket with tuna in a cafe as they really mean tuna mayo. And of course, burgers are smothered in it unless you get one with BBQ sauce.

YANBU to be annoyed about then spending a fortune on crisps and cake though.

"The food wasn't some horrid chippy food either. It's run by Soho house so hardly down market."

What's horrid about chippy food? This is your problem op. You took them for some fancy burger probably covered in strange tasting sauces and mayo and spices etc added to the meat that they're not used to.

McDonald's drive thru will probably cut it or a subway where they can choose their own toppings

Tell them you can't afford to waste food and just get them chips next time. Job done.

Tbh we avoid taking my SS out for food for this reason, and he's 6.

At 16, I would never have dreamed of wasting an expensive meal someone had bought for me without being apologetic about it. So yes, they were being rude, even if they genuinely didn't like it, not to appreciate that they have wasted your money and apologise. Given that they didn't, I wouldn't have bought them more snacks afterwords, either. They are nearly adults, they can cope being hungry for a few hours, and that's the choice they made by asking for and wasting the last thing. It's not a punishment, just a natural consequence.

If it was just the odd occasion then I might take them for food again, but if it's a habit then I wouldn't.

The ingratitude sounds like a wider problem as well - you say they wouldn't make their own lunches because they don't help around the house as it is, the way I see it that's exactly why they should be encouraged to start making their own. Just tell them they don't seem to like anything you make so there's stuff in the fridge for them to make something out of. No 16 year old can only eat hot food, that's ridiculous. They need to learn to appreciate the things people do and spend on them.

What do you mean “McDonald’s isn’t going to happen”. You have teenagers. McDonald’s is going to happen. Don’t be such a bloody snob.

How exactly can you tell I don't like my DSC? Because I have one issue that I'm trying to work out that he's does frustrate me? If I'd posted this for DD and DS you would never make such a claim.

It just comes across that way. I wouldn't blame you because (as much as we love them) teens can be annoying.

If it was your own dc I would find your concern about them eating as adults more believable, yes.

It's not healthy to force anybody to eat food that they don't want to eat. The business meal analogy is nonsense.

Right, so because I didn't squeeze them out of my own fanjo I couldn't possibly actually care about how their adult lives turn out. Yeah, it would be bloody unnatural for a woman who has spent 10 years with these kids to have any concern at all. It's clearly a more logical conclusion that I simply don't like them.

@heronontoast it's not really about forcing them to eat it, it's about them being polite and grateful for having been bought it, even if they then don't eat it.

And yes, being polite does sometimes include eating what's provided if you just don't love it, but it's alright. And if you genuinely don't like it at all and don't feel you can eat it, a simple "I'm sorry, I appreciate you buying me it I just really don't like it."

£100 drive through? Why?
soho house- probably did taste odd- style over substance

You should have gone to macdonalds.

They may not have had breakfast, but they could have been filling up on sniffled snacks in the bedroom.
My 13 yr old daughter’s room is full of chocolate, popcorn and crisp wrappers that I never expected to find.

I wouldn’t risk the expense for picky eaters unless I knew they would eat it. I’d have bought a load of chips and one burger. I’d cut the burger in bits and ask everyone to try it, then buy some more if they liked it.

I'm not sure why you're being a snob about McDonald's. 4 chicken nuggets is 193 calories and 10 carbs, probably far less carbs/calories than the smug house burger and chips that went to waste.

Rules here were wasted meals out / drinks / ice cream would be paid for by the DC. (( Deducted from pocket money )) I'm talking one bite of a.meal or lick of an ice cream that had been nagged for. It soon nipped it in the bud.

Had to check out their site. The burgers are "sprayed with butter to make them dirty" 🤢

Give me a McDonald's any day over that.

glittery 'tell them to tell you to keep your packed lunch and come home'

What a nice attitude! The children (who are 13 and 16, not babies) chose their own food and then left half of it, when the meal cost 15qiid and they have form for it. Packed lunches is more than reasonable. Your attitude is very much 'my kids are always rigjt:'

Don't get me wrong, when eating out I often leave food. We've got one pub that my parents love. It's a very cheap pub place, but does nice food. Except it does humongous portions. Even the small plates are still too much food. But we're not talking about that kind of scenario.

Also, extremely fussy eaters are a massive bore. I'm not the most adventurous and don't like 'winter' veg eg cauli, cabbage, broccoli etc though I do like peppers, etc. I'm able to pick one thing off a menu to eat, even if it's not my favourite.

There was a woman in uni. We were friends with her girlfriend and often she'd come along, we were friendly enough. She HAD to have very specific requirements. All she would eat , quite literally was burgers and toast. She hadn't even had pasta. Her mum had clearly let her rule the house, because it was that limited. If her burger came with a bit of tomato or god forbid some mayo, she would panic and often refuse to eat it, often panicking very verbally. It limited our options for eating out and quite frankly was embarrassing. Adults shouldn't behave like tiny toddlers

Why did you buy cake and crisps if they didnt eat the food they chose?

Hunger isnt a dreadful thing we must avoid at all costs. If they didnt eat the meal, they go hungry until you get home for dinner. No snacking. They live with the hungry feeling for a short period.

I'm sure why people have fixated so hard on MacDonald's and are so put out that I won't eat there. It's utterly awful "food". The DSC won't eat it anyway so it's a moot point. They begged and begged their mum to bring them and you guessed it, whole order went in the bin minus the fries. I was trying to find a fast solution this particular day because of where we were going/time constraints. But I'm ready to give up and concede to just making pack ups.

I am frustrated by it all. It makes eating out anywhere but pizza express a complete nightmare. This year we took DHs mother out for Mother's day to her favourite pub because she happened to be in the UK this year (they live abroad). It was a special menu with limited choices. DSS threw an enormous strop and the pub let him order off the children's menu. He ordered sausages and mash. They put gravy on it so he wouldn't touch it. They brought a whole new order minus the gravy because just brushing it aside isn't an option. He decided he didn't like the sausages and it all went in the bin minus one bite. DH's mother was furious at the waste. She's old enough to remember sweets coming off the ration. I really don't get people saying this socially isn't an issue when you can't or won't eat fairly standard food.

He has no SEN and will actually eat things like rocket which you'd think would be a flat no for a picky kid.

McDonald’s is not “food” it’s food. My BIL is a senior manager in one of their franchised operations, and I could educate you on all the ways it’s better than a lot of other fast food, but you are so blinkered in your prejudice that you wouldn’t believe me anyway. Suffice to say, their staff training program, cleanliness record keeping, fridge temping and food storage, supplier chain, traceability, use of free range eggs and British beef, are just a few of their factual strong points.

If this was my teenage kids I would expect them to tell you to keep your packed lunch and come home!

Ah yes, a packed lunch, the last bastion of the evil step parent. After all, who wouldn’t throw their rattle out of the pram and stomp off into the middle distance at the mere suggestion of it?

This OP has breadcrumbs in the forest written all over her.

Anyways, if this is a one off, I wouldn’t stop taking them out
but if they make a habit of it, I’d go down the packed lunch route.

Missed your update, OP. It’s not a one off. All aboard on the good ship Packed Lunch would be my choice from now on.