AIBU to be concerned about dd's celebrity crush?

[Albatross454]

Hi everyone. I have one twelve year old ds and a fifteen year old dd.
Recently (around a month ago) Dd has discovered a man on the internet (I wouldn't really call him famous, but there are a lot of 'fans' that are her age. People make instagram accounts dedicated to him!) Called Caleb Finn. From what she's told me he dances around in his room to make 'tik tok' videos for his fans. He isn't really that attractive in my opinion - he looks about fourteen (He's a twenty four year old man who still wears braces and dresses in baby blue hoodies) and she's getting obsessed. She's currently being assessed for high functioning ASD, her brother has it too. From watching videos that she has shown me I don't understand why she likes him so much... He honestly looks so young!!!
Anyway, dd has now sent a letter off to him all the way to Australia for him to read on a video that he will be making soon. She has a 'fan account' of him on instagram and he has liked one of her posts. He is all she wants to talk about now. Sometimes she starts crying because she will 'never find a man who looks like him' though he looks quite average, in my opinion. Most men would look like him if they had the haircut. I feel really sorry for her and I know how it feels to have celebrity crushes at her age. She's been acting really sad recently because of it and I don't know what to do How have you coped with your children's crushes? I'd really appreciate some advice right now! Thank you x

My guy got injured and eventually retired in 1998 because of severe back problems. He then made a return in 2002 when I didn't have Sky so one of my friends recorded it and POSTED me the tape. The comeback was on the Sunday, the tape arrived on the Wednesday so at the age of TWENTY FOUR I didn't use the internet or open texts from certain people for four days in case I read a spoiler.

If it makes you feel any better, I worked in a Post Office for a few months and teen girls sent scores of Valentine's cards to celebrities. All lovingly decorated with hearts and SWALK on them.

My DD has high functioning asd and although is quite a lot younger than your DD I would take this as a special interest. My DD also gets very fixated on things bordering on obsessive and this sounds like it could be similar in nature

Shawn Michaels was hot though

@Sammyp235

Apparently we had similar teen tastes.

I remember hiding the poster of him with the belt and nothing else.

I remember being exactly like this as a teenager.
I was intent on marrying Jordan Knight from New Kids On The Block. I must’ve spent a small fortune on posters and memorabilia.
It was intense and painful and ridiculous and completely normal.

This is quite normal OP and really nothing to be concerned about.

When I was that age I was obsessed with Boyzone and convinced I was going to marry Stephen Gately. It passed. This will too. It's just part of growing up.

Keep in mind about 80% of Mumsnet including me confessed to having a childhood crush on Disney's Robin Hood the fox last week

Another vote for 'this sounds like normal teen/ tween crush behaviour' and will fizzle out as she finds a new interest in time.

If you're dead set on putting her off this particular chap then all you need to do is start gushing about how amazing he is and how much you fancy him too. Nothing in the world more likely to dampen a teenager's desire for something that a parent loving the same thing.

I loved Nick Rhodes when I was 10, 11, 12.
Come on, look at the guy back then. I think actually my aunt was worried about my crush. I grew up and married a total square who wears chinos and shoes with comfort soles.
I really, really wouldn't worry at all. It's all kind of weird, the aesthetic stuff. I guess this Caleb guy is non-threatening, soft, cute and cuddly. It's to do with VSCO (I think?) which my 9 year old DD is all over like a rash. It's so beyond me. For the first time, I feel really out of my element as a parent. I don't get the whole soft boi/vsco/aesthetic stuff other than we had all of this stuff before, just without the labels!
I guess this Caleb is a soft boi. I loved Morrissey at 15. I adored him. I wanted his babies even though at 15, I hadn't had a sexual fantasy yet.

I was just talking to my brother today and we were both laughing about how much we hate Morrissey. Johnny Marr though. There's a legend.
I wouldn't worry, OP. One day she'll cringe when she remembers this passing crush.

@thatcurlygirl ahahaha

Fenella, I loved Jordan too. Also Jason Donovan and somewhat randomly (given I had no knowledge of tennis) Stefan Edberg.
OBSESSED, I was.

Keep in mind about 80% of Mumsnet including me confessed to having a childhood crush on Disney's Robin Hood the fox last week

Yes! There's that! I was amazed by how many shared the same crush. Honestly, having been reminded of that thread, I'd sleep easily tonight, OP.

I was absolutely going to marry George Michael... I really couldn't see why my mother raised eyebrows at it...

My asd daughter does this, I've been told the obsessions (ocd) are normal. She buys expensive fan merch. It's the only thing she talks about and is sad if she's not watching on YouTube. So far her longest obsession has been 15 months. She pretty brutal when it 'ends' it's all or nothing and her real life relationships with peers are the same.

I am still getting over not becoming Mrs Robert Smith.

@crazyallaroundme he actually sells expensive fan merch! He sells 'aesthetic' hoodies that cost £20. I honestly don't think the price is too much.

^ For merch

The whole point of teenage crushes is that they are unattainable. Either a person who has no idea the devotee exists or, or indeed as well, in my case, much older men in cardigans who happened to feature in an American cop show...was it Starsky or Hutch???? Can’t remember 😍

Be sympathetic OP. This too will pass.

Ah fond memories of mark owen. I was absolutely certain and could not be convinced otherwise that I was going to marry him. I mean genuinely sure.
My best friend at the time had a plan to walk to Manchester to live as soon as we turned 16 and find him and Robbie. We would then marry them.
Foolproof plan it was.
It's a nice safe way of experiencing loving feelings for someone you'll never meet. Usually.
Obviously if some older dude starts messaging teenage girls or fans or whatever that's different but this sounds normal.
I'm still here by the way mark 👋🏻mark?

@Kitty1184 hey, back off he's mine

What a clever way to get people to google him.

At 14 I was so going to marry John Taylor.

@tumblingtumbleweeds I'm sorry, what? I'm concerned about my daughter. I honestly think that her crush is getting unhealthy, all I want is some advice.

Lots of young girls have obsessive crushes, I remember mine, I could have told you anything and everything about him, I knew every lyric, every interview, every detail about him and his band. I had all the t-shirts, posters, bag etc.

When i look back I cringe, it was pathetic, my mum must have been doing the biggest eye rolls at me when I was rambling on about him. I went to a all girls school and lots of my friends had similar crushes.
So, I wouldn't worry too much, it will pass!

One celebrity crush I had was stopped dead in its tracks when my mum said he looked just like my dad I didn't see it but that was the end of that lol!