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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go ahead and feed my vegetarian kids meat?

181 replies

QueenEagle · 08/08/2007 15:35

To clarify:

I am meat eater, dh is strict, strict vegetarian. We agreed when I was pregnant with our first that baby would eat fish and chicken.

One way or another I was overruled since and both our 2 kids have been veggie as dh couldn't face them having meat or animal products until they were of an age to decide for themselves.

They are 4.5 and 2.5 and their diets consist mainly of a processed frozen Quorn product such as sausages, Quorn chicken kiev sttyle thing, or similar with potatoes/pasta and veg. As often as time constraints allow, I make veggie shepherds pie or lasagne from scratch (ish).

Anyway, increasingly I wish to feed them good quality meat and I do struggle for inspiration for veggie dishes; in short I am getting quite tired of them being veggie because of dh's wishes whilst mine are disregarded.

Our relationship is at a very bad point right now and I suspect dh would see this as me trying to have a go at him. My older 3 kids have been veggie by choice for the last 4 years (dh and me been 2gether for 6). However dd has recently started eating meat again and tbh it's been lovely having a fellow meat eater in the house, and being able to do hearty beef casseroles and pork chops etc for someone other than myself.

If you have stuck reading this through that load of old ramblings, thank - any advice? What should I do?

OP posts:
HonoriaGlossop · 11/08/2007 19:00

nooka it's more complex than that. As in everything, beliefs about meat eating/animal treatment etc are on a spectrum rather than polar.

For instance I'm a vegetarian and happily respect my DH's choice to eat meat because our values are similar enough. He is responsible in the way he thinks about it and wants to eat organic/free range because he feels that's better than factory style production; if he was not even caring about that stuff or was happy to live on McDonalds every day then we would be too different.

As it is I think it's a very rich environment for a child where they can see parents making their own choices but not feeling threatened when their partner makes different choices.

FrannyandZooey · 11/08/2007 19:01

"I think it's a very rich environment for a child where they can see parents making their own choices but not feeling threatened when their partner makes different choices."

I like this idea

TooTicky · 11/08/2007 19:04

Okay, haven't read whole thread so sorry if I am repeating anything.

I am vegan and fully understand wanting dcs not to eat meat. But, if your dh really wants them to eat veggie then maybe he could take responsibility for some of the cooking. I don't rate quorn very highly I'm afraid, largely because it is so processed. There are better meat substitutes available (try Fry's and Redwood products from Holland and Barrett) but of course they are still more processed than good quality, non-messed-about-with meat. But I do feel strongly about the animal issue, which is why I don't eat animal products.

Not sure if I've actually been any help

bohemianbint · 12/08/2007 17:34

Can I just say that re the "vital diet in their development" comment - this is actually untrue. Vegetarian diets can be more healthy than meat eating ones when done properly as they contain much less saturated fat, and by definition, more veg and grains!

Why do people assume that a diet without meat is incomplete? Half the bloody subcontintent live on vegetarian diets and they all do quite nicely, and Indian food is some of the most varied and well balanced in the world!

As for whoever said "someone who thinks that being a vegetarian is that important would choose to be with someone who is not a vegetarian"...PMSL...Cos life's like that!

iliketosleep · 12/08/2007 17:39

as i say im a vegitarian and constantly have low iron due to the fact i dont eat red meat, i think they benifit from meat.

bohemianbint · 12/08/2007 17:40

Totally disagree - there are other ways of getting iron. I've never had an iron deficiency in 30 years of being a veggie.

iliketosleep · 12/08/2007 18:02

oh well, everyone has their own opinion on whats right and whats wrong. mine is that meat will help get my kids get proper nutrition...

by meat i dont mean processed foods i mean proper cuts of meat, i try to avoid processed as much as possible.

americantrish · 14/08/2007 18:10

interesting thread read.

tuppy · 15/08/2007 21:02

Haven't read all, but why is chicken/fish OK but not other flesh ? We all know some chickens have a dire life...is that worse than eating free range pork or lamb ?

moljam · 15/08/2007 21:07

'Anyway, increasingly I wish to feed them good quality meat '
you can have good quality veggie diet without quorn.

ruzzel01 · 01/10/2009 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mrsruffallo · 01/10/2009 12:05

He sounds rather militant to me. Why aren't your wishes being acknowledged?
If he doesn't want them to eat meat then he should do the cooking.
He sounds a pita
gIVE THEM SO FISH
Some veggies are so bloody earnest, it's annoying

independiente · 01/10/2009 12:10

Hmm, I wonder if this is the wrong time in your relationship to start forcing the issue? You say it might come across as you trying to make a point. It comes across that way to me. Sorry.

mwff · 01/10/2009 12:10

ancient topic bumped by spammer mrs r

independiente · 01/10/2009 12:11

Oh bleeagh, I always forget to read the dates.

Fruitbeard · 01/10/2009 12:14

Waah! Just got to page 5 of this thing, saw MadameZ's name and only then thought to look at the date - grrr!

Geocentric · 01/10/2009 12:14

I got interested and waded throught the lot without realizing it was an old thread!!!

Still, it was pretty interesting!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 01/10/2009 12:16

Sounds like your 4.5yo wouldn't want to eat meat anyway (I knew I didn't at 4.5 and never did). If you aren't getting on with DH I can understand why you would want to start feeding them meat (my DH probably would if we had a major falling out and split up permanently) but if you are in a relationship you need to compromise. Starting to feed them meat against his wishes is not on, if my DH did that I'd be devastated and it would massively impact on my trust for him. However, you did agree on fish at a minimum and he should honour that. I think it's fair to say to him 'as I cook all/most of the meals I am going to start introducing good quality, ethically caught fish into their diet as I think it is healthier than quorn and processed meat substitutes.' If he disagrees then he will have to be responsible for cooking them healthy meals every day.

I never give DS fish but when DH has him he can. Seems to work for us.

Oh - and there are far more healthy ways to feed veggie kids than quorn and ready made kievs. Why don't you do a bit of reading? Or I'm sure your DH has plenty of material! I also wouldn't disagree with the idea of showing them a video but maybe find a peta or viva one rather than a radical hunt sab one.

mwff · 01/10/2009 12:17

i thought it was interesting too, but doubt op is still looking for advice is she still here? wonder what she did.

Geocentric · 01/10/2009 12:25

I know, mwff, I hate these threads that go on and on and we never know what happened... Like buying a book and finding the last page ripped out!

Geocentric · 01/10/2009 12:27

Let's speculate:

OP moved out and opened a steak house.
OP's DP went on a world tour with Greenpeace.
The DCs gave up on them both and became Buhddist monks.

mrsruffallo · 01/10/2009 12:29

Thanks mwff, didn't bloody notice
ruvvle01-start your own bleeding thread

mrsruffallo · 01/10/2009 12:31

OP caught DH having a sausage sarnie in the local cafe
He was relieved he didn't have to pretend anymore
They went home and had a meat feast pizza

Geocentric · 01/10/2009 12:33

And now they're happily in love and sprinkling bacon bits over each others naked bodies...

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 01/10/2009 12:45

Raaaarrggggh