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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask people to pay for their own tickets?

105 replies

ScoobyBoo · 06/09/2019 15:45

Ds has his second birthday in a few months time and I was thinking a trip to sea life aquarium might be a nice idea, perhaps a picnic beforehand. Dh wants to invite his family. He thinks we should pay for all their tickets if we invite them, I think we should invite them but make it clear in the invitation they have to pay for their own tickets if they want to come. With DH's parents, step parents, siblings and their partners it's about 9 people not including us or any my family (which would just be my parents).
Is it cheeky to say to DH's family they are welcome to come, no pressure but they have to pay for their own tickets? What's the best way to word it? Do I provide picnic food for everyone?

OP posts:
PutyourtoponTrevor · 06/09/2019 15:46

You should defo provide food for everyone. Can you afford entry to the aquarium for everyone?

IDontDrinkTea · 06/09/2019 15:50

I’d ask them to pay for themselves.

Id word it as a family day out rather than a party though so they don’t think you’ll be paying

AryaStarkWolf · 06/09/2019 15:50

YABU if you're inviting them for your sons birthday, all the people you named are adults, I doubt they would all choose to spend their money in sea world if they weren't being invited for the birthday

Original poster
ScoobyBoo · 06/09/2019 15:51

I'm a sahm so we are on one salary at the moment so would rather not have to spend over 200 pounds on tickets.

OP posts:
orchid1234 · 06/09/2019 15:52

I'd just say something like 'we're doing this and you're more than welcome to join us, the tickets are X amount' just be straight about it because you dont want people to presume you're paying and then asking them to and it all being awkward

Original poster
ScoobyBoo · 06/09/2019 15:52

There is a high chance DH's family will ask what we are doing for his birthday and invite themselves, especially mil

OP posts:
Worgust · 06/09/2019 15:54

There is a high chance DH's family will ask what we are doing for his birthday and invite themselves, especially mil

Let them do that then.

AryaStarkWolf · 06/09/2019 15:54

I'm a sahm so we are on one salary at the moment so would rather not have to spend over 200 pounds on tickets.

So go on your own and have a small party at home that all the family can come to another day or later on that day or something?

Jupiters · 06/09/2019 15:54

I'd just say something like 'we're doing this and you're more than welcome to join us, the tickets are X amount' just be straight about it because you dont want people to presume you're paying and then asking them to and it all being awkward
I agree with this - just be upfront. People can choose and there is no pressure on you to pay.

bbcessex · 06/09/2019 15:54

It's totally down to how you pitch it.

1: we are going to the aquarium for DS's birthday - you're welcome to join us, we will provide the food & cake = fine

2: please join us for DS's 2nd birthday at the aquarium -= not fine

GruciusMalfoy · 06/09/2019 15:54

Yanvu as long as you phrase it as a day out and they're welcome to come along, rather than "we're doing this for DS's birthday and would love if you were able to come". Let them know prices in the initial text. I'd probably say I'd do a picnic for everyone if they fancied that.

WhatsMyPassword · 06/09/2019 15:54

Provided expectations are laid out and clearfrom the begining ther isnt a problem.

We are taking baby X to sealife for his birthday, if you want to join us, here's the link to buy tickets.

defo provide food @? at tourist prices? why should you 'deffo provide food' ? It's not a party. The Op is going on a day trip, others may join if they see fit.

Cassilis · 06/09/2019 15:56

Can you afford entry to the aquarium for everyone?

Even if you can afford it you shouldn’t have to offer to pay. A picnic is more than enough. They can always decline.

Be wary of those who ask you to buy the ticket and that they will re-imburse you. Sometimes they don’t!

PutyourtoponTrevor · 06/09/2019 15:56

OP said a picnic, nothing about eating the food from the aquarium

RealMermaid · 06/09/2019 15:59

It's a family day out, of course they should buy their own tickets!

Cassilis · 06/09/2019 15:59

we are going to the aquarium for DS's birthday - you're welcome to join us, we will provide the food & cake = fine

This is not clear enough. Add what @WhatsMyPassword suggested: if you want to join us, here's the link to buy tickets.

TheRebelAlliance · 06/09/2019 16:00

It isn't age appropriate for a just 2 year old.

Howyiz · 06/09/2019 16:02

As others have said take your ds to the Aquarium and have a small tea at home for family afterwards

EmeraldShamrock · 06/09/2019 16:04

Do it as a family day out.
It is a bit cheeky to ask them to pay towards DS birthday party.
I am sure they won't mind paying, if there is any DC going you pay for them.

Tableclothing · 06/09/2019 16:06

How much are the tickets? Just Googled sea life London and it will cost you between 20 and 40 per person Shock

Tbh I wouldn't bother taking a 2 year old to an aquarium at those prices. I love aquariums but I prefer to go just with adults so I can spend as long as I like staring at the fish.

But that wasn't your question.

"Hi everyone, for DS birthday we are going to aquarium and then a picnic in X place. We'd love it if you could join us. Tickets for the aquarium are available from [link]. If you would just like to come to the picnic please let me know so I can make sure I provide for everyone. Hope to hear from you soon xx"

Then they can check out the prices and make their own decision. I don't think offering to pay for everyone's aquarium ticket is required.

ShivD · 06/09/2019 16:06

‘Dear family, we are going to have a picnic to celebrate DS’s 2nd birthday on xx October from 1pm- food and cake provided. We’re planning to visit Sealife centre before/ after and you are welcome to join us. Tickets can be purchased beer www.tickets.co.uk.’

ShivD · 06/09/2019 16:06

Cross posted with above post 🙈

ChicCroissant · 06/09/2019 16:08

People trailing round the aquarium with you is not going to be much of a birthday celebration really - I would just take your son on your own and then meet up with family afterwards (or before if the timing is better).

dottiedodah · 06/09/2019 16:08

I think to ask people to join you on a day out like this ,and expect them to pay as well as presumably giving a present is being a little unreasonable TBH!.Why not just go to Aquarium with GC from both sides and arrange a little tea party afterwards?.Obviously having to pay 200 pounds is excessive for a little one party.!

Settlersofcatan · 06/09/2019 16:09

I would invite people for the picnic and say you're going on to the aquarium and they are welcome to join you. That puts the emphasis on the hospitality that you are providing rather than on the bit you don't want to pay for

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