Parking in disabled when pregnant

[Notagainsusan]

So I don't actually think I am bu but I just need someone else to wtf with me and have no one I can rant to in real life other than dh who may soon cut his ears off rather than listen to me again 😛

Good friend is pregnant. I have a 10 week old baby. Yesterday we went to the supermarket together. As we were driving round my friend commented on the lack of baby and parent spaces to which I said oh don't worry he's in his pram anyway so not like I really need the space (I mean he won't be running in front of cars etc and spaces at this shop are quite big so I could easily get the buggy out 😊).

Friend then comments how she can't walk very far atm.
I did internally eye roll at this. She is 7 weeks pregnant. So far in this pregnancy she has had every symptom known to man kind and keeps commenting how her bump is huge already. At 10 weeks post partum I have more of a bump than she does, she is literally stick thin. However I realise I'm being a bit mean here and she is very excited to be pregnant.

Anyway! As we drive around she pulls into a disabled space. I didn't think she had realised so I said oh this isn't parent and child it's disabled. To which she tells me that as she is pregnant she is fine to park in disabled?! I replied saying I didn't think that was true and we should probably move. She said she wasn't and tbh I didn't want the hassle of an argument as she had done me a favour by driving so I shut up.

We get out the car, do the shop, all fine. When we are getting back in the car I was folding the buggy etc when a lady approaches and starts having a go at me for using the space?! Saying how it is not for child and parents. I didn't get a chance to say anything back to this woman as she stormed off mid shout about how inconsiderate I was. Friend just stands there and then raises an eyebrow to me.

In the car I bring up the woman shouting at me and friend just says 'oh don't let her ruin your day'. 😳😳 I said maybe this is a lesson in not using disabled bays unless you're actually disabled and she went in a huff saying how she was feeling really hormonal and not sleeping well so she didn't want to have to walk far ?! She dropped us off at home and it was all a bit awkward.

I'm annoyed that I got the blame for her wanting to use a disabled bay! And that she is using one in the first place!

Prepared to be flamed as I probably should have got her to move but I've no idea how and couldn't face an argument with ds in the back waiting for his stinky nappy to be changed 😂

Wait until she has the baby. That’s going to push her into a whole new level of crazy for decades after.

I'm hoping she settles down and my normal friend comes back 🤞 maybe wishful but hopefully she will look back and be mortified!

I’ve been both pregnant, and disabled at different times in my life. Your “friend” is out of order. I’m not from the UK, but where I live it’s illegal. For a reason.

Thank you, OP, and everyone on the thread who is standing up (no pun intended) for the needs and rights of blue badge holders.

Sometimes, I'd like to explain to people who abuse disabled parking bays, how it feels to be bed bound or housebound for weeks on end and how a trip to pick up your own meds is exciting cos you're at least out of the bloody house. Then finding you can't get parked nearby. Any unnecessary activity can send you back to bed in even more agony; pain that morphine doesn't even touch. Or, on an occasion you can park, how awful it is to be judged or challenged because you don't look disabled, while waving your blue badge at them. I'd also tell them about how hard the PIP application and assessment process is. Blue badges aren't handed out willy nilly.

Don't even get me started on non-disabled people who use disabled loos!

Obviously people vary, but the only thing that limited my ability to walk when pregnant was my bladder capacity. 4-5 miles iirc, tops.

She’s like 5 minutes pregnant she should walk! Jeez, another woman who thinks she’s the only woman to ever get pregnant!

Such entitlement!!

@thefairyfellersmasterstroke
I am disabled and now have a bb. When I was pregnant I was only able to walk very short distances with the aid of crutches and was on permanent pain killers in order to be able to walk. I don’t think you did anything wrong to ask to park closer and to follow instructions to in a disabled space. Management otoh not giving you a space in their car park should be ashamed. They are required by law to create this space and the onus was on them to make reasonable adjustments and provide a space for you, which they were able to do without infringing on the bb space.

@Notagainsusan
Don’t feel bad about not challenging your friend further. You will be able to next time. The assessment for getting a bb is pretty rigorous and even though it was clear I should qualify it was pretty scary in case I didn’t. Her parking in a disabled space may have prevented an actual user of bb spaces from shopping that day. She should be ashamed of herself. If you do go out with her again, perhaps take her in your car and go at a busy period so there’s no p&c spaces either.

@SteelRiver
I know what it is to be that poorly. Thankfully I’m better but far from well. I hope you do get better too. They are actually accessible loos, not disabled ones. I go to the accessible loos when I need to and other times I use the normal loos when I’m able. To look at me you wouldn’t know I’m disabled. People needing the toilet quickly with eg diverticulosis can also use those loos as they are accessible toilets. I understand your rage. But we cannot actually say for sure the people using the toilet doesn’t qualify.

In general being pregnant is absolutely not a disability, it's being pregnant.
However DH did wait for me is the car is a disabled space(others free and he would move ) as it was closest to door. I had very sever HG until the day I gave birth, out of control epilepsy and SPD due to EDS so I could hardly walk that distance alone.
The difference is he would have moved at the top of a hat if space needed. This was only at the worst staged of pregnancy. After that I was banned from leaving the house😫
Leaving the car as a new mum just ease is silly. After 3/ 4 weeks I was trying to lightly "jog"( in theory) and really reconditioning my sod and waling everywhere. I don't even drive. 10wks pp is totally selfish and very lazy.

Sorry OP misunderstood. You gave the baby. And are finecwth walking..you're normal!!
Your friend needs to wise up. The only thing she might be feeling now is a little bit tired--- just wait until she has a 6 week old baby, she wont know what not being to walk from sheer exhaustion is 😂😂 she needs to lump it along with everyone else. Does she not ho to work like most of the population?

It's not 'fine' - I have a heart condition and a physical disability which requires an assistance dog but I'm 'not disabled enough' for a blue badge - why does your friend think that being pregnant makes her more in need than people like me?

As the mum of a wheelchair user can I just point out for the benefit of your friend, that it's not just about the proximity to the stores, disabled bays usually have enough room to get the wheelchair along side the car so my DD can get in and out. Impossible in a normal space. And when there isn't a disabled spot she simply cannot get in and out of the car.
And as someone who is disabled (though not a wheelchair user) and has also been pregnant, I really want to give your mate an ear-bashing.

GlamGiraffe that I can totally understand and frankly you should have been given a blue badge for the duration of your pregnancy.

To everyone else and OP I understand that it's difficult to manage a child in a parking space - but please bear in mind that some of us - like me - have to manage a baby, a service dog and occassionally a wheelchair in that same space

posteryoukiddingme

I don't have to use a wheelchair often, thankfully, but I totally agree that it's pretty much impossible to set one up and transfer to it in a normal bay

Your friend is an idiot, pregnancy has only amplified this. My patience would wear very thin being in the company of someone so far up their own arse that they didn’t care about the needs of others.

Oh ffs, the woman is excited to be pregnant, she’ll learn soon enough that the whole world isn’t as excited as she is, does everyone have to be quite so nasty!

BillywilliamV
Lots of people are excited to be pregnant.

We didn't park in disabled bays and a month and a bit pregnant, list every symptom that suggests our pregnancy is a million times worse than everyone else etc.

She's behaving in quite a self absorbed way and its all a bit attention seeking. The problem with boy who cried wolf behaviour is if she really does end up unwell then people may well think "oh here we go, she said she couldn't walk far after gaining 2lbs".

@BillywilliamV - many women are excited to be pregnant . Doesn’t mean they behave like dicks.

However DH did wait for me is the car is a disabled space(others free and he would move ) as it was closest to door. I had very sever HG until the day I gave birth, out of control epilepsy and SPD due to EDS so I could hardly walk that distance alone.

The difference is he would have moved at the top of a hat if space needed.

There is no difference. It's even worse that he waited IN the car in a disabled bay. He could have moved and come back to collect you.

Sitting in a BB space 'prepared' to move is bollocks. He was misusing and taking a space from someone who may have needed it.

If I drive into a car park and the bb spaces are full, I drive out again.

What an arse. And you for thinking that's ok.

so glad to see most people see how bad this is.
BB bays are there to assist disabled people. they are essential and people who abuse them are selfish.

Your friend and Beaverdam
are the reason my car is 2 years old with only 3500Kmon the clock.

The difference is he would have moved at the top of a hat if space needed.

How would he know if someone needed the space? When I am in my car you can't tell I'm disabled unless you look very carefully at the steering wheel.

If she's behaving like this when she is 7 WEEKS pregnant I suggest distancing yourself as her pregnancy progresses. By 37 weeks she's going to be unbearable.

Interesting then that they all specify Blue Badge holders only. I didn't know that it's all a bunch of bollocks and you can park wherever the fuck you want in Tesco car park. I was ticketed myself for parking without displaying a badge in Tesco car park earlier this year, should i contact the car park company and tell them they wrote the wrong reason on the ticket because you said you don't need a B.B.?

Deliberately obtuse, or actually missing the point? They are specified for BB as it is an easy catch all. You can park wherever you want in any private car park, but accept you may get a ticket. If you do, you should understand your rights in those situations and yes, if you were in a BB space, but forgot your badge, or need a badge and don’t have one, you absolutely should challenge the ticket. The law is on your side.

I’m not sure why you are being so arsey about the suggestion that people can have mobility issues without having a badge and for that reason are allowed to use BB spaces. Is your world really so black and white that it has to be “no badgie, no parkie”? We have one badge and two cars. It isn’t always possible to make sure the car DD is in has the badge, (we’d have to leave it with her at school which is really risky). Are you suggesting we absolutely cannot use the spaces in the supermarket or at the hospital? My 96 year old grandmother didn’t have a badge but was really unsteady on her feet and struggled to get in and out of the car. Without BB spaces she wouldn’t have been able to go out anywhere. You think it’s ok to say “fuck you, no badge”?

Abuse of BB spaces by both badge and non badge users is terrible and needs to be addressed, but are we so lacking in humanity we can’t recognise when people need help and allow them to have it?

They could park in p and c spaces. Not BB.

They could do either.

This sounds like the beginning of more cheeky fuckery to come OP. I wonder if she has form for this with her exH but this is the first time the mask has slipped with you?

Deliberately obtuse, or actually missing the point?

Totally don't get your point.

BB spaces are designated for BB holders.

I’m not sure why you are being so arsey about the suggestion that people can have mobility issues without having a badge and for that reason are allowed to use BB spaces.

I'm not being 'arsey' about anything, specifically not about people who can't/don't have a BB but have mobility issues.

Is your world really so black and white that it has to be “no badgie, no parkie”?

We have one badge and two cars. It isn’t always possible to make sure the car DD is in has the badge, (we’d have to leave it with her at school which is really risky). Are you suggesting we absolutely cannot use the spaces in the supermarket or at the hospital?

We have one BB and 2 cars also. On the odd occasion we forget the badge we say 'ffs' and park/go elsewhere. Just upthread somebody said they knew of someone who let down the tyres of a car not displaying a BB. There are countless posts about people being abusive and rude to others who don't display a BB. I'm sorry that your practical situation means you can't have the BB present at all times, but the rules do t change for you.

My 96 year old grandmother didn’t have a badge but was really unsteady on her feet and struggled to get in and out of the car. Without BB spaces she wouldn’t have been able to go out anywhere. You think it’s ok to say “fuck you, no badge”?

No I don't, but this is the failing of a system regarding BB, not me.