I debated whether I should post this but I just want a little back-up outside of my DH (although I recognise I may not get it).
I am 36 weeks pregnant and all is going well. The only issue that's arisen time and time again is the question of how I'm going to get to the hospital when I go into labour.
I can drive. My DH is visually impaired so is not legally allowed to learn to drive. So far, no problem, really; when The Time Comes we'll get a taxi to the hospital.
This is huge problem for my mum. I'm not going to exaggerate for effect but we've probably had the following cyclic conversation, by rote, twice a month since I announced my pregnancy 7 months ago.
Mum: How're you getting to the hospital???
Me: we'll be getting a taxi
Mum: you can't get a taxi!
Me: yes, we can. Plenty of people do
Mum: but what if they won't take you?!
Me: then we'll phone another company
Mum: but what if THEY won't take you?!
Me: then we'll phone an ambulance
Mum: ambulances don't pick up women in labour!
Me: they will if I'm crowning
I spoke to my midwife who said they'd had many women turning up by taxi for various reasons and they'd never heard of any issues. I've phoned 3 local companies and all said they'd be happy to take me: one even took my name and said they'd bump me to the front of the queue if I called (very kind of them).
My mum is still not happy and will not stop.
I understand her anxiety: I'm her oldest daughter and will be having the first grandchild. I sympathise with the worry, I really do, but neither my DH or I are concerned about transport (we know we'll get the hospital one way or another). In fact, it's the only thing I'm NOT worried about. About a month ago, I asked her to stop talking about it: she's aired her worries multiple times and I've listened. I've explained that I want to get a taxi; I trust the companies I've called; knowing the taxi companies are 2mins down the road makes me feel in control; and the only person I want with me when I'm in labour is my DH.
Last week, her and my dad came round for dinner and she said this (paraphrased), in a tone that brooked no argument:
"When you go into labour, I want you to call me. When you start contracting you WILL call me and me and your dad WILL come and take you to the hospital. Then we will take you home again. Call me."
Now, this is very kind but did annoy me a little. I'm a 30 year old woman with a husband, not a 16 year old going to her first house party. My parents are an hour away on a good day (when there's traffic, the journey can take up to 2.5 hours). Also, I love my parents dearly but I don't want them hanging around the hospital's waiting room for hours - I only want my DH with me.
I should probably have stood my ground but I'm exhausted with this conversation so I just said "sure". When my DH got home that evening, I told him about it. He pulled a face and said:
"Well, we're not doing that. You want to take a taxi. I'll just say you were in too much pain and I panicked, forgot about Their Plan and just called a cab. I'll tell them you're in labour when we're safe at the hospital - that way your mum won't have any scope to panic because we'll already be there. I'll take the blame."
I said I felt bad because what if that hurt her feelings. He said "To be honest, love, I don't care about her feelings. When you go into labour, I'll only care about you and what makes you feel most comfortable."
Him offering to do that made me feel a lot better and more in control but I do feel a little guilty. It's very kind of them to offer to come so far out of their way for me and I feel like maybe I'm being self-centred and ungrateful. They're good people and I understand my mum's worry. I just want to do it my way. AIBU?