Cleaner cancelled last minute due to childcare

[UmmUmar]

I've found a fantastic cleaner, single mum by the sounds of it, brings her daughter with her (I don't mind), you can tell she is struggling financially and with her little one.

Today she cancelled on me 10 mins before the appt because of childcare. I understand that with a kid, things get a bit difficult with work but a heads up would have been nice!

Since my house has been a tip I've got to do it all by myself (pregnant + toddler, and dh works long hours)

AIBU to be upset?

if She needs the money then she probably was really up against it if she cancelled last minute. Maybe her kid was unwell or upset or maybe she had no petrol money or something.
I’d give her the benefit of the doubt and if it happens again, try to get a bit more out of her regarding what’s happened to mean she has to cancel.

Well said, squint - mirrored my thoughts!

SquintEastwood..

Good on you. I am highly qualified and when I needed some extra cash I offered cleaning service for some relatives and it was bloody hard work and the disrespect can be disgusting and heart breaking.. did it for couple of years to manage costs... and it’s the worst thing I’ve done due to attitude.

So I get you. There is nothing in the world that I hate more than cleaning now as a result.

But... I think the OP was getting a hard time before she mentioned the cinderelling around. My house is a tip at the moment and I think SAHM also get looked down on and treated like they have nothing to do and are being lazy.

Out of all the work I’ve done in my life in fabulous places, the hardest most sneered at two are : cleaning and SAHM.

There seems to be a lot of judging on this post but the gist of the issue is, if you have previously agreed she can bring her child to work with her but her child subsequently talked becomes ill(as children do!) She obviously doesn't have anyone else to look after her child. Nature of the beast I say and within the remit you agreed to. All these Janet's judging this lady for having a cleaner? Wtf? We're all mums here. I would have killed to be able to have a cleaner, shit I'd kill to have a cleaner now. She obviously needs the time or extra head space me time or whatever. Get out of your own arses

10 minutes before sounds like an emergency, her child will be sick and she could have been let down by a sitter, if she is normally reliable. I would be unsuitable for you, as sometimes I get sick. The only way to ensure you are not let down is to go via an agency, they will send somebody else but the people get agency fees taken from them. You should understand and not be upset but mumsnet is not supportive of others, it is more of a page to boast about about privilege.

It wasn't an emergency or sickness. She said that her child had fallen asleep on the bus, after nursery.

YABU. Have some compassion.

What I do judge is people who speak about cleaning as though it is somehow beneath them because they "work hard" or "have better things to do" - referring to anyone who picks up a duster as "Cinderella" and/or assuming that cleaners are poorly qualified (blatantly meaning too thick to do anything else) and/or financially desperate

Well said SquintEastwood.

So you know she’s struggling and you’ve said she’s good. Get your head out of your arse, maybe you should of asked if you could of helped her in any way. Poor you having to do a bit of your own cleaning. I dread to think what your paying her.

I can't believe you've really called cleaning your own mess and house "Cinderella-ing".
I'll remember that one 😂

MsHopey was she though ?

She was saying her husband cleaning HER mess and HIS kids mess when he didn’t contribute to it is cinderella-ing. I mean... he has been out all day and did not contribute to that mess did he now? His kids did but they weren’t under his responsibility when it happens as he was probably doing his own work!

I think OP knows it’s technically her job and she recognizes that she needs help. Don’t we all at times? She could be pulling her sleeves up on things that you don’t bother with. Or she could have circumstances you have no clue about.

Stop trying to sound like a smart arse

The OP isn’t doing this woman a favour.
She cancelled 10 minutes before she was due to clean because her child had not fallen asleep, not because she was ill or because of some other emergency.

Would your employers be as understanding as you’re being if you phoned in 10 mins before you were due in work to cancel because your kid had fallen asleep?

No is the answer.

Had fallen asleep

So yeh asking someone to do more than their fair share and cleaning other people’s mess for NO PAY is Cinderella-ing, you can argue.

I mean he could have the courtesy to help out but since he is coming home very late working long hours I’m not sure that’s a fair expectation..

The man is ready to help out his wife by hiring a cleaner instead. Why are people so jealous?

NoSauce I know! There is a real sense of bitterness in this thread and people just insisting on not seeing basic logic. Poor OP.

How many people in this thread treat their cleaners like proper employees? So, sick leave, holiday pay, health & safety? No? Thought not. Being a domestic cleaner is an insecure job and I think it's a bit rich to talk about 'would your employer tolerate this?' when there are very few similarities with a salaried, contracted job. Of course you want someone reliable and honest, but I think the way most people treat their cleaners is pretty shitty.

I do pay my cleaner when I go away on holiday and on the one occasion I did cancel because of an actual emergency within the family I insisted I paid her the full amount.

but I think the way most people treat their cleaners is pretty shitty

Well that’s a sweeping statement if I ever I saw one.

Who are these “most people” you’re referring to and how would you know how they treated their cleaner?!

But nosauce- do you pay your cleaner when he/she goes away on holiday?

You're right, I can't judge 'most people', that was a generalisation for the sake of brevity - and it was based on numerous threads on here and multiple comments in real life from people who have fired their cleaner for one lapse, or suspected lapse, have insisted they are not allowed to use their phone, have refused to pay them for turning up late, have been unable to talk to yhem about problems or how they want things done and expected their cleaner to be psychic. All this has caused me to observe that if most people (again generalising for brevity), were treated in their jobs this way it would not be acceptable, so why does it seem to be the standard for cleaners.

@44SquintEastwood great post.

I have cleaner because I'm unwell at the moment and have been for a few months. I don't know what I'd do without her and love her company when she's here.

My MIL, on the other hand, calls her cleaner her 'staff'. 🙄

@MrsNotNice
He eats there, cleans himself there, sleeps there, if the cleaner was coming to clean the bathroom, or kitchen, or dust, that was his mess too. If the cleaner was coming to tidy the kids toys, he can be forgiven.
My DH works, I'm at home with our DC, it's his home too and some of the mess is contributed by him, it's just what is it. Families are teams, I clean mess that wasn't specifically made by me, as does DH as their his kids making the mess too.

Also echo @SquintEastwood
I have been a commercial cleaner and DH still is (supermarkets, not peoples houses). He works hard on minimum wage literally cleaning the shit off walls so that hes providing for us as a family, it hurts me when people act like cleaning is for the unintelligent and useless members of society and in turn has made him feel crap about himself, including member of the staff and public who are leaving the mess for him to clean up.
He works hard just as many people do in a variety of jobs and cleaning provides money for families just as any other job does and it doesn't make the cleaner "lesser than".

But nosauce- do you pay your cleaner when he/she goes away on holiday?

No, as my cleaner is paid cash in hand, has no contract or contributes to tax or NI.

I pay when I’m on holiday or when I’ve had to cancel her which is pretty fair imo.

Oh dear, your house is a tip and you’ve got to clean it yourself??? God forbid.
First world problems. 🤷🏽‍♀️
Maybe she was getting ready to come to you and then her kid chucked up everywhere... would you rather she brings her to yours and risk infecting you and your toddler?
Just suck it up and clean your mess yourself... or leave it for today and get your hubby to help you when He gets in, then spend the money you saved on your cleaner on a nice treat for you if cleaning your own house distresses you so much... I’ve honestly never heard anything more Unreasonable.
Many many women have toddlers, are pregnant, clean their own houses and throw a 35 hour week into the mix also...

I would have liked to see the responses if this were the OP cancelling 10 minutes before her cleaner was due because her child had fallen asleep or some other lame excuse.

I work in a professional role and I couldn’t care less what a person does for a living. I treat everyone with the same respect. I have two friends who are cleaners. Both are intelligent, funny and great company. Both are mums who chose cleaning as a flexible way to support their family a bit. One has a degree and the other has a dependent adult child. You should never judge anyone based on their role. I’ve met plenty of people in “respected” jobs who are pretty thick. Job titles don’t necessarily represent the whole person holding it.