Cleaner cancelled last minute due to childcare

[UmmUmar]

I've found a fantastic cleaner, single mum by the sounds of it, brings her daughter with her (I don't mind), you can tell she is struggling financially and with her little one.

Today she cancelled on me 10 mins before the appt because of childcare. I understand that with a kid, things get a bit difficult with work but a heads up would have been nice!

Since my house has been a tip I've got to do it all by myself (pregnant + toddler, and dh works long hours)

AIBU to be upset?

Love the virulent prejudice/ viciousness against women who have the Absolute Temerity to have a cleaner.

“You may think it’s ‘wanky’ but being late 20s, early 30s, no children (ever) and having next to no responsibility apart from our jobs is pretty awesome. I wouldn’t take too kindly to having my lifestyle impacted by someone else’s childcare issues.”

Thank god there are no children! Im trying to figure out if you’re real or not. I mean who the hell joins a parenting forum when they clearly dislike children?

And would the posters piling in to defend this seemingly unreliable cleaner leap in to defend a short notice cancellation by a (male) electrician or gardener?

Listen, there is nothing wrong with needing the extra help because you are having pregnancy complications and aren’t quite coping or keeping on top of housework. I’m pregnant, have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, have a 4yr old son on the spectrum who has just started school and have a growing business that needs lots of attention too and my house has started to just crumble around me because it’s all a bit too much at the moment. To the point where I am getting quotes for cleaners to come Monday’s and Fridays to clean, tidy and iron and I will just keep it TIDY in between.
What is NOT ok is your lack of empathy and flexibility. Why not just say to her on the phone when she called “oh, stick her in the spare room bed!” She May have said that she thinks she’s coming down with something and that she doesn’t want you, her pregnant boss who is already suffering from complications, catching it and creating more issues for you.
I was a single mum from the minute I fell pregnant with my son, 5yrs ago and I’ve had to let clients down due to childcare when he is sick or if I’m just too exhausted - I’ve lost a few but the majority have understood and are loyal. I’d rather not have the ones I lost because they weren’t very nice anyway, but I always need the money so would only have let them down if I was desperate.
Your cleaner is a single mum, who travels by bus, with no one to look after her child while she works. Give her some leeway! She needs that money to feed her and her daughter. Understand that she wouldn’t let you down unless she absolutely had to.
And she may have even used her daughter as an excuse for something else that may have just happened but so what?!?! She doesn’t need to tell you the ins and outs, just trust that she would be coming in if she could.
This is such a first-world-problems type of thread - “my cleaner didn’t come in!!!”
It’s not the end of the world - who cares if you have some mess?!! Get your husband to help you or ask the cleaner to pop in an extra day over the weekend or next week to make up for it and she’ll just have to do a deeper clean to get the extra dust out of the cracks!
Seriously. Get over yourself.
Wanky wanky wanky. Even primark and George shoppers can be wanky by the way 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m sure other people must have told you this but you cannot discriminate against people because that have children. That is against the law.

Are you sure this would apply @Goldiloz in a situation where some is a client of the cleaner rather than the cleaner's actual employer?

some ---> someone

It’s frustrating if you’ve planned around the cleaning but I’m sure your cleaner is upset at not earning money today too.

Yes you are being unreasonable and judgemental! Her DC could have thrown up last minute! I'm sure you having a go with your Hoover won't kill you.

If you promise to never, ever take a sick day, miss work or rearrange a meeting, message a friend at the last moment that you can't meet them because your baby is sick, and to get peeved at your partner for taking a sick day, then you're not unreasonable. But I doubt that will happen because we're human & life doesn't operate outside working hours.
I worked 30 hours a week, pregnant & toddler & kept my house clean myself (DH worked long hours). I also managed staff and knew it was discrimination to consider someone's child status when hiring.
For the child free here - it could be your partner, parent or friend who is in crisis or sick and needs you to miss work, not just children. It's naive to think it won't happen. I got all sorts of odd situations, including major health scares or elderly parents having a fall, themselves or a partner in a car accident etc. So please be compassionate - you will need the understanding yourself at some point!

@Skittlenommer
Is the air thinner up there on your self built pedestal.
You need to stop trying so hard, your fake is showing

I think agreeing to have the child come along with her mother is pretty understanding actually - an obvious distraction from work and with the potential to break something (and no way does she have insurance that would cover that).

Laughable isn't it

I think you should get a different cleaner

What I really don’t understand is this anxiety of a cleaner cancels that then you MUST clean yourself... unless you have people coming round, just live with a bit of dust for a few days

You have no children and are anti people who have children? And you are on mumsnet?

Whats the big deal? People get ill, people’s children/parents/partners need time and attention. Traffic happens, etc and so on.
Maybe lower your standards if unable to clean or maintain cleanliness with a toddler? It would be a much healthier attitude. Quick hoover and a bit of dusting is easy though

I think the OP has issue with the cleaners communication fgs not with her circumstances.

It’s not like she is hoping to have a full blown tantrum at the cleaner but she is indeed entitled to some reliability in communication.

I think she displayed incredible empathy by allowing the child to stay at her house- basically baby sitting service. Secondly, by stating her circumstances and assuming that she is struggling when she hasn’t been told.. and by excusing the absence which she states she has no problem with.. just that it was a 10 minute cancellation due to child dozing asleep.. quite clearly the cleaner has an option to take her daughter to the OPs house as this was on offer before, but she sounds like she was using her daughter as an excuse...

Which is fine... happens to the best of us.. but given she is new, and has been late few times... OP is not wrong to question her reliability and be upset that she bent over backwards to facilitate a job for someone and they ended up seeing her as a push over.... potentially.

So much comprehension issues on this thread.

Start buying from George and primark if you guys are desperate to have a cleaner so badly that your resenting OP for it. Pathetic really

Yes, and probably drowns puppies at the weekend for kicks

You need a robot OP.

Or just a cleaner who gives more than 10 minutes’ notice cancellation...

Yabu! IV been pregnant while having a toddler and a husband who works 12 hours a day and a part-time job it didn't stop me being able to clean my own house, I understand that you pay her to do a job but you have to understand that sometimes life happens an if you say she does a good job then try being a little bit more understanding, if it happens often then you have to right to complain

OMG - first world problems 😱