Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

[Hanny3]

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

YABU. His responsibility is towards the child, not you, and he has no obligation to fund your studying for another two years. How you afford to keep studying is entirely on you I'm afraid.

£1,200 net a month is a full time wage for many. Babies, children, even teenagers do not cost £1,200 to feed / clothe / entertain a month.

If you're savvy you could save at least half of this over the years and give your child a large lump sum for a house deposit or university fees when they're older.

@Hanny3 Hi.
Since everyone is ganging up on you, I want to tell you I can understand where you are coming from.

You should not leave uni because you are pregnant, studying does not make you irresponsible. However you need to make sure you make time for your babies, babies are very demanding and you need to give them plenty of love and attention, so balancing it can be challenging (DUABLE). We are in 2019 so you don't need to sacrifice your career prospect to be a mum, you can do both, specially with that chunk of money. Your baby will be proud.

I don't know how old you are, but what he will be paying you is a decent amount of money. And unlike other MN, I don't see what's wrong to claim benefits whilst you are at work. The money ur ex will be sending is just for the baby. Any leftovers should go for a saving account to secure a nice future, not for you.

By no means I say you should be living an easy life forever cause ur ex. Neither that ur ex should pay for you.
I think its quite unreasonable for u to ask for more, because he is already paying a decent amount. You will not spend that much money on baby (and if you do- At any stage of baby's development, something going wrong).

Finish ur studies, start working, be a model for your baby.

You know 1200 is plenty, even for the 2 of u. But I don't think you should ever spend that money on you.

I think you are a really lucky single mum. Most baby daddies are hiding assets or being lazy arseholes. Many ladies here get £10 monthly, imagine.

Be cool with baby's father, you should try keep that money coming to secure ur offspring future.

And, the moment that he stops paying, thats when u go court. Not now.

(Btw he should not be paying you whilst pregnant- however if he offers, why not?)

Some mamas here are so bitter.

I agree with others - £1200 is more than some earn working full time. You've decided to keep the baby; his contributions are to help cover the cost of the child not to keep you a float while you study. There is no way a child will cost you a fraction of that every month but also bear in mind you should be paying for half of whatever the child costs too. He's not meant to be paying you a salary!

I personally see no problem with the OP wanting him to also finance her life. What of SAHMs? Whether or not money came into her reasoning is not the issue. There's a reason why scores of young women wear high-heels and short dresses to watch footballers who've just been or about to be signed train for football matches. And I can tell you - it's not because they've got the slightest bit of interest in football.

I’m no longer a nurse likethisone. I assume by your comment that you’re legally qualified. You should then know that you wouldn’t tell anyone they’d definitely win and receive their costs. It’s about using professional judgment and relevant experience to advise and act in the clients best interests.

It doesn’t really matter if you think the op is being irresponsible and should get a job. She is entitled to either a payment based upon the CMS calculation (her income or ability to earn would be irrelevant) , or she seeks legal advice on relying on The Children’s Act.

Fucking hell... What's wrong with you? That's loads more than most dream of.

What of SAHMs?

A SAHM is in a relationship where a decision has been made for one parent to focus on the children whilst the other works. Unfortunately when you are single, you really don’t have that luxury.

@TheCatsACunt
Did you see the JK right at the end of the sentence?

Bye

Did you see the JK right at the end of the sentence?

I did indeed.

Do you believe adding it gives you impunity from being called out on calling the child of unmarried parents a “bastard”, or are your jokes as awful as your attitude?

I feel so sorry for OP. The comments here are irrelevant to her question.

MN a field of hyenas ready to bite a piece. Not cool.

She fucked the wrong man. Well at least he is rich.

Don't you @ me saying she should have waited until marriage cause that's out of the question now. Irrelevant.

What's wrong for asking where u stand.

@NotSayingAWord I’m sure she’ll get by but she won’t be a student forever and it will be hard. I also live in London, I’m a mother. I just don’t think it’s a lot of money for a father in these circumstances to contribute and I’m very surprised by people’s attitudes.

@TheCatsACunt

Yes. That's exactly what I think.

Yes the questions here are irrelevant to the ops questions. Far to many posters making moral judgments.

@SeaBear11 I agree that she will struggle. Mothering is not easy and London makes it even tougher. £1200 is not a lot, but considering she will get back 80% of the costs (I don't know how student benefits- benefits work by heart)....
I mean, provided that this money is solely for this baby, it's a really good child maintenance.

The OP lives in London. £1200, doubled to reflect the mother’s contribution, is hardly any money at all. A full time nursery place in London is at least £1200. You can’t rent a two bed flat for less that £1200 either. What are they supposed to live on? I’m really surprised by this thread.

Picked an area totally at random, but not dodgy - lots of families in the area therefore plenty of childcare opportunities etc.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-63494358.html
Rent £1K. One bed but baby is tiny and co-sleeping and she’s single. Bills probably what, let’s say £273 for ease of reckoning. (Council tax - exempt as a student? Or £80 or so? Electric/gas - less than £85 (prob less). Water - £30? Broadband £40, home insurance £15, mobile phone £15, £10 left over...)

So that’s the CM contribution gone.

Childcare - student grant non-repayable. Likely won’t need full time 5 days a week. Childminders cheaper and more flexible than nursery etc.

Food, transport and other living expenses from usual sources i.e. student loans.

Child benefit - child-specific needs e.g. clothes, nappies, equipment.

I mean - I wouldn’t fancy it. Not only is it tight but as a single parent with no support it sounds isolating and shit. But that’s where I’d decide to move closer to family or terminate the pregnancy (or consider adoption) because I wouldn’t want to either study or bring up a child like that.

But it’s completely doable, even in London, and it’s a little insulting to suggest it’s not.

It does make me laugh when some posters on MN go on about not being able to survive on less than £100,000 - £150,000 in London. Because there’s nobody in London on minimum wage is there.

Also OP is already paying rent in a house share. She doesnt need 15k pa to look after a child

Just because childs father is wealthy doesn't mean his children are automatically entitled to have that lifestyle - and they wont be as op will use the money on herself for the next 18 years

@NoSquirrels you miss my point. I won’t argue over budgeting as you and I both agree it will be hard and shit but manageable. I believe it will be harder for the OP once she enters work. I’m just saying I’m surprised by people’s attitudes as I believe a very wealthy man should contribute more than £1200 to the cost of his baby.

I’m just saying I’m surprised by people’s attitudes as I believe a very wealthy man should contribute more than £1200 to the cost of his baby.

Fair dos. I’m not surprised, I guess! I think there’s plenty of realists here, that’s all. I think he should contribute more - unlikely many people would argue that more money isn’t better if you can spare it - but he’s practically unlikely to, so OP should play the long game right now. Time enough to argue for more, after all, 18 years is a long time.

YABU!!!! Bloody hell... take the money and be bloody grateful he isn't saying no until a DNA test is done.

You want to keep things amicable and over £1000 a month is more than an enough to look after a baby. The money isn't for you, it's for the child. What do you need more than £1000 a month for the child?! You're not his ex wife!

@FeeFee832 exactly my thought!

I’d be ecstatic if someone offered me that per month. My ex pays nothing. £1,270 is roughly my monthly take home pay from working almost 40 hours per week on an above NMW paying job. You could both live off that. Plus you’ll get child benefit and presumably tax credits including maximum childcare element as a student.

What has not being his ex wife got to do with it. This is about maintenance for the child which the the CMS can’t calculate because he earns to much?