Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

[Hanny3]

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

Good heavens SuperSara I was replying to Purple who thinks single parents shouldn’t receive free financial help to study. In fact Purple thinks that you shouldn’t receive any benefits until you’ve worked. Apparently benefits weren’t designed for women who get pregnant when they’ve not worked. No UC or child benefit for them. Presumably they should be thrown on the streets and not given the opportunity to improve their employment chances.

My point is - she is expecting him to get her a house, pay more and that is not his legal obligation. That sounds to me like she is out for what she can get.

Of course, he was mightily stupid for getting himself in this situation but he is more than going to pay

Isn't it interesting that the OP won't qualify how long she was with the guy for. It could have been a one night stand. Get some self respect OP and understand that he has been more than generous.

Erm he's obligated under legal via CMS legal guidelines (these guideline can be different in court as already stated by others) to pay a minimum amount in accordance to his income, which appears to be the suggested amount! It has nothing to do with generosity!

@Brot64 We were together for about 18 months. We broke up about half a year ago, but we had a short period where we started seeing each other again. That's when I got pregnant.

To try an answer two of the questions many have:

I was on the pill.

And what would I do if the father wasn’t in the financial situation he is in? Then I would have no other choice than to quit studying and move back in with my mother

Genderfree - perhaps they could refrain from getting pregnant in the first place or you know live with family if they can’t pay their own way .
Sex education has never been better , contraception and even abortion is safe and free and still we have all these unplanned babies needing the support of the tax payers. This child probably wouldn’t ever know their father . Hardly a good situation for any child to be born into .
Do you think everyone regardless of input should be supported indefinitely? How would that work ?

@Genderfree I've read your previous post again.

I was confused because you've used 'then' in place of 'than', hence it implied something coming after.

You need to rethink your choices. If you are intent on keeping this baby, like I was with my first, then studies are going to have to take a back seat. He turned 3 and started kindergarten last year so I started my studies again. But in a different location to where I wanted initially because I needed to be close to family so that I could have support and childcare on top of the governments obligatory 15hrs - which you won’t get until your child is 2 anyway!
So either don’t have the baby and choose your studies, or defer your studies for a few years and have your baby! But don’t have this baby just because his dad is rich - that money is for that child, not to fund your life! I get nothing from my son’s father and never will and have never asked, but that is a whole other thread!

@Hanny3

I was responding to a previous post. I didn't ask you how long you were together because it is irrelevant for legal purposes. It would only matter if you had been married or cohabiting and you had contributed financially towards a home together(bringing up children alone is insufficient to claim under cohabitation rules). Having said that, you are better off (at least at this point) accepting what he is offering because from what you have said, you probably can not afford to spend on legal fees which you will need to take the issue to court, particularly because he has the funds to drag this through court for a very long time if he so pleases.

Purple-

“Do you think everyone regardless of input should be supported indefinitely? How would that work ”

Where have I said that. I would have thought providing benefits to help someone improve their employment prospects is a sensible approach.

You do know contraception can fail and not everyone would have an abortion.

I think that the father should pay to house his child and by default that means it’s mother too . This situation is of his making too , why should anyone other than the parents pay for the child .
Take him to court and get as much as you can , I’m assuming he thinks he can pay only what he legally has to and you will claim benefits too .

Again it’s not that I think he shouldn’t pay anything, it’s more that she OP is looking for more. If this child’s father is as rich as she says there is still a likely financial benefit from grandparents when it comes to the bit but the OP can’t expect to just be paid for. Women’s lib has come a long way with us able to do and be what we want. It’s cheapened every time when someone gets pregnant and refuses to stand on their own two feet cos the man should pay.

Cookingonwine she hasn’t been paid a penny yet but is merely looking at her legal position.

The OP hasnt spent anything either. Why would she have a penny when only 3 months pregnant?

Gender - if contraception can fail, you wouldn’t have an abortion and you are not in employment then you only have one option . Abstinence.

Schedule 1 Children Act - I suggest you speak to a solicitor

@Hanny3

to add, the problem here is that you are asking for potential legal avenues but being judged on morality. It will be difficult to get the desired responses and you are bound to be harshly (whether rightly so or otherwise) judged. You are better off seeking legal advice if you really want to take this matter to court.

He’s told you what he’s prepared to offer financially - and currently doesn’t want to be personally involved ( that may change ) - I’d think about how having a baby will impact on your course ie when you go on maternity leave and return and clarify what finances you can access loan wise and what your accommodation options might be and childcare when you’re in lectures on your return . Consider what help with the aforementioned your family may give . From your original post it seems that your family and friends are thinking he’s rich and can be used accordingly but I hope many of the posters in this thread have pointed out the pitfalls of this approach .

Dear god, some replies are just shocking. Why do women have to be so hateful to each other?
Op, for you.
Just because some people have skinflint exes, doesn't mean we should be pathetically grateful when a man actually fulfils his legal minimum obligations to his child. That's the minimum!
This^

SuperSara -

“@Genderfree I've read your previous post again.”

“I was confused because you've used 'then' in place of 'than', hence it implied something coming after”

A bit like the likelihood of pregnancy coming after intercourse.

We were together for about 18 months. We broke up about half a year ago, but we had a short period where we started seeing each other again. That's when I got pregnant.

I bet he finds it a bit suspicious that the pill only failed after you'd broken up once and the relationship had become rocky. And I bet it's part of the reason why he wants nothing to do with the child. Of course only you know whether this was a genuine contraception failure but if it was then I do feel sorry for you. An 18 month relationship is quite different from a ONS/short fling though so maybe he'll come around once the baby is here.

eyesbiggerthanstomach

• “Schedule 1 Children Act - I suggest you speak to a solicitor”

Yep.

She is looking for him to support her through uni, essentially.

That's not a legal or moral obligation he has.

Again, everyone saying she could go to court to get. Who is paying for that?

And she will be well fuxked if the courts decide that actually he doesnt have ti pay more as his financial situation has changed (even if its by design).

Unfortunately, if OP wants to have this baby, she needs to also make adjustments. At the moment she wants to carry on as is and have him pay for it.

She is wanting him to pay so she can continue to study at the same uni, but a a better living place, paying all her outgoings.

He is responsible for this baby. But so is she. She also had sex, knowing contraception fails. Assuming some was used and used correctly. Though MN seems to have a large amount of women who get pregnant by accident. So I am not always convinced.

She knew having sex can lead to pregnancy. She knew she was at uni and would struggle if she got pregnant.

People like to say things like 'he he didnt want unwanted pregnancies he should not be having sex or get a vasectomy'.

No one would tell a woman if she doesnr want to get pregnant, she should be celibate or have hee tubes tied

OP knew her position when she decides to keep this baby. Ahe needs to take responsibility as well.

Some one this thread seem to think getting pregnant to someone rich is like a lottery win and she doesnt need to be responsible for the child.

PurpleTigerLove -

“Gender - if contraception can fail, you wouldn’t have an abortion and you are not in employment then you only have one option . Abstinence.”

You’re hilarious.

This thread is one of the most depressing things I’ve ever read on here. OP I let a thread like this get inside me and hurt me recently, don’t let this do the same to you. You don’t have to bend your knee to him because he’s ‘good enough’ to provide a fraction of his income to support a child he helped make. You don’t have to defend your pregnancy. And you don’t have to feel guilty because some men don’t provide for their children, or because some women have ‘struggled more’. It’s an awful attitude. I wish you the best of luck x