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Original poster

Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

772 replies

Hanny3 · 05/09/2019 10:52

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

OP posts:
timshelthechoice · 05/09/2019 20:08

Good idea Purple so only rich kids go to university. Wouldn’t that be great.

That's not true at all. It's just that now with UC things have changed.

stucknoue · 05/09/2019 20:08

The only time a former partner is expected to pay towards the ex partners upkeep is where there's been a long marriage, typically 10+ years and even then it's pitiful, trust me I'm going through that process.

SuperSara · 05/09/2019 20:10

Exactly, @Bonjourfreddie

If the father decides when the baby arrives that he does want to be involved and goes for shared residency then OP's 'get rich quick' scheme will be holed below the waterline.

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 20:11

gorris she doesnt have to live in london.

Genderfree · 05/09/2019 20:11

Don’t be ridiculous Purple. Financial help for single parent students is no different then child benefit, WTC and Universal Credit.

PurpleTigerLove · 05/09/2019 20:12

Genderfree - no , students shouldn’t be having babies whilst still at university and expect to claim benefits when they do . What’s that got to do with being rich or poor ? Students have more opportunities now than ever to go to university as is evidenced by the increase in numbers attending . In fact the poorer the student the bigger the loans .
Everyone says the man shouldn’t have sex but ultimately it’s the women who make the decision on whether a pregnancy continues . Perhaps they should be the ones not having sex !?

cookingonwine · 05/09/2019 20:13

@Genderfree - I am aware she hasn't got a penny yet but I am in disbelief that she is already wanting more money for herself. Clearly she doesn't understand that CMS is for the child.

SuperSara · 05/09/2019 20:16

Financial help for single parent students is no different then child benefit, WTC and Universal Credit.

This doesn't make sense.

Are you saying that child benefit and UC comes along after whatever help single parent students can get? I.e only once they're no longer a student?

Surely child benefit is paid all the way through, parent studying or not.

PurpleTigerLove · 05/09/2019 20:18

This reply has been deleted

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gorrisandhorace · 05/09/2019 20:18

She doesn’t have to live In London but she does.
And I doubt she wants to move during pregnancy.
Personally if it was me I’d take the money and run and by run I mean abroad, somewhere where you get more for your money and university is cheaper. With the added bonus of feckless fred not changing his mind and trying to muscle in.
Because what you don’t want op, is for him to decide when the baby is born that he actually does want contact and he wants you to say in a London. Because it’s just so hard to be a single mum in London, cost wise/commute wise/time wise. And it gets harder as they grow up.
The thing is he has the money so he holds the cards. If he wants to fight you for anything he will simply take you down. He’s richer, he can afford better legal help. This is life.

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 20:20

Her wanting to stay at uni in london aint her problem. Anyone in this situation with any sense would move closer to family.

gorrisandhorace · 05/09/2019 20:20

Not everyone has ‘family’

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 20:23

Op clearly has. She talks about her mum.

PurpleTigerLove · 05/09/2019 20:23

Gorris - even more of a reason to not have a baby while studying then .

ThatFlamingCandle · 05/09/2019 20:25

@PurpleTigerLove

You say the student has the self to blame... but if she didn't go to university you'd call her lazy and uneducated.

Cushionsarecomfie · 05/09/2019 20:27

Isn't it interesting that the OP won't qualify how long she was with the guy for. It could have been a one night stand. Get some self respect OP and understand that he has been more than generous.

gorrisandhorace · 05/09/2019 20:28

Well she’s having a baby .
If feckless Fred didn’t want to have a baby with a woman who wasn’t financially independent, he should have paid more consideration to where he put his penis.

tweebookworm · 05/09/2019 20:28

@ThatFlamingCandle she should realise that as a student this is not the best time for her to have a baby on her own with little support

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 20:30

But legally goris and thats what matters here, her home is not his problem. Nor is her uni course. Or anything else. His responsibility is CM. End of. Thats it.

lyralalala · 05/09/2019 20:31

Get some self respect OP and understand that he has been more than generous.

Paying his legal obligation is not being more than generous

gorrisandhorace · 05/09/2019 20:33

Yes I don’t think that what is legal is what is right or appropriate . As illustrated by all the £7 a week fathers on this thread.

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 20:34

With respect gorris what you think makes no difference to what this man will have to pay op

ThatFlamingCandle · 05/09/2019 20:35

@tweebookworm

Im in a similar position to her in the sense that I'm a student in London with a young child. I really don't think the issue is her keeping the baby, that's her choice. Unless we're now saying people under a certain income must abort?

The problem in this case is OP is a bit ungrateful. Yes he could give more but he's doing his bit and she's got enough help. 12k a year is equivalent to a part time salary and asking for more is pushing it. I get fuck all in CM. To me that's the problem, not whether she chose to terminate or not.

Banangana · 05/09/2019 20:39

Well she’s having a baby.
If feckless Fred didn’t want to have a baby with a woman who wasn’t financially independent, he should have paid more consideration to where he put his penis.

I don't think the OP's financial situation makes much difference to Feckless Fred. His maintenance payments will be based on his income, not hers and he'd be paying the same amount even if she were a financially independent high earner. Whether the OP is independent enough to support herself while studying in one of the world's most expensive cities doesn't really change much for him as he's decided he doesn't care to provide more than the minimum.

bengalcat · 05/09/2019 20:44

The biggest hurdle for OP is not so much his child support but how she will juggle maternity leave , completing her degree , participating in student life , getting a job after her degree with having a baby / toddler to care for . Good luck OP .

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