Is this cheeky or sensible?

[Dumbosbumbo]

A school friend of mine and his wife had a baby a few months ago. They are very big advocates for environmentalism. They're also really well off (she's a lawyer and he's an engineer). This is just for context.

A couple of times since the baby was born, my friend has posted on Facebook asking for donations of specific second hand items for the baby. The most recent post asked for clothes, a stroller, a bouncy seat, a few educational toys, a play pen, a crib mattress and a high chair.

The reason they've given for the request is that they want to minimise waste by not getting the baby new things, and that's an aim I am totally on board with. And the request has been phrased very nicely, with an explanation of the principles behind it.

But part of me also feels it's cheeky because they can definitely afford to buy these things themselves (even if second hand), and because they've been so specific about what they want. I feel like there are other less well off parents out there who would benefit more from this stuff than them, and that while it's totally fine to accept donations of second hand baby items, posting a shopping list of what is wanted seems grabby.

AIBU? Is this just a sensible practical solution to mitigating the environmental impact of having a baby? Or is their behaviour a bit entitled? And given that I have some clothes in the sizes they want, should I post them to my friend or should I donate them to charity (which was my original plan before I saw the post).

TIA!

Personally I’d say it’s a bit of both, kind of like those ridiculously rich people who set up a GoFundMe for lawyers fees etc! If they want particular items they should buy secondhand off eBay or whatever like the rest of the world otherwise they just get what they’re given.

I kind of wonder why they don’t buy them from a charity shop themselves. This would be giving to charity and buying second hand. Perhaps suggest the shop you donate to as a good place for them to look for what they want

Or yes, eBay!

CFs, they can buy second hand from charity shops, fb market of eBay.

Being specific about what they want is part of a zero waste philosophy.

Depends on what they intend to do with the items when their baby has outgrown them. Throw out, donate to charity, pass on to someone else or sell them. If donate or pass on then I would give. The other two, forget it.

If they're offering to buy the items then that's sensible, would be doing the seller a favour too. If they want them for free then that's cheeky.

So he’s saving the world and saving himself a whole load of cash. If he wants second hand baby goods he can buy them. And do what most folk do and stand on their own two feet.

I've got relatives a bit like this. They are super smug and love to lecture others on their favourite environmental causes while taking all donations with glee...trouble is, rather than donating the money they save, they jet off on holiday several times a year! The hypocrisy is staggering.

They are very big advocates for environmentalism

They can’t be that serious about it if they’ve had a child!

These two aren't really hypocritical because they do generally live by their principles. They rarely fly, and only once long haul that I've seen in the last few years, they're both vegans etc. And I do see how being specific is part of the zero waste philosophy.

But it does still seem cheeky to ask for specific things for free. I think if it were me I would offer to pay, or at least to do / give something in return.

Using good second hand items is sensible but they should be paying for them!

These two aren't really hypocritical because they do generally live by their principles. They rarely fly, and only once long haul that I've seen in the last few years, they're both vegans etc. And I do see how being specific is part of the zero waste philosophy

All of that effort is undone by having a child. Having a child is the most destructive thing you can do to the planet.

Ebay doesn’t really fit into zero waste because of the packaging and the environmental costs of posting something.

And you have to be lucky to see what you want or need in a charity shop.

It does feel cheeky... but maybe we all need to get over that to start making a change?

If they were truly committed to environmental protection then they wouldn't have had a child.

I respect people who are genuinely trying to make an effort to be greener. But I bloody loathe those hypocrites who spend their time lecturing others about what they should be doing, whilst picking and choosing which bits they want to follow themselves. We all make choices.

I think it would be absolutely fine if they said "we are looking for x,y and z, we are willing to pay"

It's cheeky. They can minimise waste by buying second hand things. Double win if they buy from a charity shop.

Also, they are hypocritical. Having a baby is top of the tree for damaging the planet.

It's cheeky. There is good second hand market for this stuff.

I think it would have been better for them to just buy second hand. If people wanted to give them things I imagine they’d already have offered them. I wouldn’t ask a friend if I could have something they have, i’d always offer money.

It doesn't have to be eBay or charity shops for 2nd hand stuff. My dd gets loads of things fairly locally (can pick up so no packaging) off Gumtree.

But I agree, asking for stuff for free when they're not remotely hard up does seem cheeky, not to mention tight.

Hmm. I do this (also well off). But I always word it as "Before I darken the door of Argos/Amazon, does anyone have an x/y/z that they no longer need and would like to sell me?" And actually what happens a lot of the time is that people either give it free of charge (usually because it was sitting in the garage anyway), or ask for a very nominal amount, or ask for a donation for a big local cause.

I'm happy with what I do. But I'd never solicit donations - that feels a bit different.

I can see their thinking, but if they want it for free then it's cheeky.

I think its a bit cheeky.Especially the wanting it for free part - even if the giver accepts no money it should be offered or possibly donated to charity. I have seen it on fb community pages where someone is looking for a very specific brand/colour of pram for example or a trendy type of high chair. Fair enough if you want those but i feel either go with whats available or trawl ebay.(we bought a pram from ebay but i was constrained by budget and location for collection so had to be less fussy about colour!)

In view of other environmental measures they take, I consider they are being sensible rather than cheeky.