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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel holiday MIL booked and paid for for us?

148 replies

Pushpushpoosh · 04/09/2019 10:02

For Christmas last year as a gift to the DCs MIL booked for our family and SILs family to go on holiday and it's booked for next week.
Its a UK holiday and looks really fab however my dc are 1 and 3 and our 3 year old has started pre school this week and will then need to take next week off. I didn't think much of it at first however DD isn't settling in very well at nursery and I worry taking her put next week is going to really mess her up settling in wise.
We can't change as SIL is booked into same accommodation and DHs holidays from work are set.
The holiday was going to be great and the kids would love it but I don't want to go at all now because coming back and trying to settle back into nursery again I know is going to be a nightmare.

AIBU to cancel ourselves from the trip and stick with nursery? It won't affect SILs family trip. DH says I'm over reacting and kids are resilient but I don't want to make it harder for DD than it already is.

OP posts:
SallyWD · 04/09/2019 13:07

Go on the holiday! It would be such a waste not to go. Your child will be absolutely fine.

separatebeds · 04/09/2019 13:08

Massive over reaction. Go on the holiday. She is 3 yrs old - you can't spend you life not doing things!. The break might help her and if it doesn't then you have not lost a thing.

LovePoppy · 04/09/2019 13:10

I think people are being pretty tough on you here @Pushpushpoosh. Will it matter in the long run? No, of course not. But your concern is the immediate future which is looking pretty bleak. None of us can say if a holiday will make settling in easier or harder for you. But if you’re anything like me, you will spend your entire holiday worrying about it. So the question becomes, where do you want to worry- at home having the daily fight, or on holiday.

EmNetta · 04/09/2019 13:10

I've only read the first page, where everyone's urging the OP to go on holiday, but personally I'd hate to go away from home with two tinies - not any kind of a break for Mum, and I think these children are too young to enjoy being away from home too. I'd be relieved if MIL allowed our family to choose our own holidays, but I seem to be in the minority.

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 04/09/2019 13:11

Star THE OP IS GOING ON THE HOLIDAY Star

DodgeRainClouds · 04/09/2019 13:14

Go on the holiday! Send a postcard to preschool and talk positively about it to her while away. Enjoy the holiday!

crosstalk · 04/09/2019 13:16

OP go on the holiday. And brief SIL and her family (unless of course they too are babies) to talk subtly about how nice nursery is and ask her about it. Your DD may be feeling it's not an adventure and a chance to make friends but that it's her being sent out of the house while your 1yo has you. You haven't said if you're SAHM, still on maternity leave or working.

kulaexchange · 04/09/2019 13:20

It might do her good to have time away to assimilate her first few weeks of nursery. Also in my experience lots of time with cousins and the wider family is fantastic for bringing kids along a bit in terms of independence. Go and enjoy the holiday!!

MommaJP · 04/09/2019 13:21

I would go on holiday x

icedgem85 · 04/09/2019 13:24

YABU!! Go!

blahblahblahblahhh · 04/09/2019 13:25

Go on holiday! Start nursery settling in when you get back - very soon you'll only be able to go on holiday in school hols - make the most of no school now!

Drabarni · 04/09/2019 13:27

it takes time to settle at nursery, some children just don't. Mine didn't settle so they didn't go again, I wouldn't cancel a family holiday for childcare.

Beautiful3 · 04/09/2019 13:28

No way, just go!

Sh05 · 04/09/2019 13:32

Definitely don't cancel. My dad would not settle but three weeks in fell ill and had two days off plus the weekend. When she went back on the Monday she was so different because she had missed it. May well be the same for you

Sh05 · 04/09/2019 13:33

*dd not dad!

timegoingtoofast · 04/09/2019 13:33

see if she wants to buy her key worker a souvenier to take back with her

This is a nice idea :)

PuppyMonkey · 04/09/2019 13:38

I might be going against the grain here, but has any PP said they think you should go on the holiday? Wink

AryaStarkWolf · 04/09/2019 13:41

Glad you decided to go OP, I doubt the week will make any difference to her settling in or not, enjoy the break

Original poster
Pushpushpoosh · 04/09/2019 13:54

Just to clarify we are going away!!

I do realise how ridiculous I was being I think it's more the worry about DD not settling nothing to do with not wanting to go. For what it's worth I get on really well with MIL more so than most of my own family!

OP posts:
Ohbuggerlugs · 04/09/2019 13:56

YABVU if it was school ok but not at this stage. Enjoy yourself! The kids will!

Ohbuggerlugs · 04/09/2019 13:56

Awww brilliant OP! x

Original poster
Pushpushpoosh · 04/09/2019 13:56

Love the idea of buying a little gift for her teacher too thankyou all.
I spoke to them at pick up about the holiday and they were absolutely fine Smile DD goes to pre school just because I felt like she was ready for more than what i could give her at home and play groups etc I'm really hoping she settles but I wouldn't force it for a full year if she was getting really stressed, they said she settled fab 5 minutes in today!

OP posts:
KUGA · 04/09/2019 13:58

YABU.
I think your DD will have more fun with the family than going to nursery.
I also think it will do you good as clearly you are worried about DD`s nursery problem.
You sounds like you have a lovely MIL too
NICE TO HEAR.

LightDrizzle · 04/09/2019 14:07

Glad you are going!

SVRT19674 · 04/09/2019 14:24

Well, a preschool teacher used to tell me, most cried while the parents were there, when parents were off they stopped crying joined their friends and concentrated on playing. I must say that mine only cried twice and I was a little miffed in a small corner in my heart because it was like she didn't miss me enough! They can't win. But, the big smile she has when I pick her up makes up for it!