To report this family for leaving their young dc home alone?

[Hmmmmminteresting]

New family moved in opposite. They're a bit strange. 2 dc age approx 8 or 9 and then another age 3 or 4.
Every morning the DM takes the DP to work at around 6.15 am. Shes gone around 20 mins. Leaves the kids at home, no sign of any lights on so I assume they're in bed and she doesn't want to stir them.
What also makes me nervous is that she doesn't lock the front door. She gets home and just pushes handle down and shes straight in.
Do I keep my nose out or report it?
My close friend has begged me to report however shes a social worker in training!

Baguette. 😂

How much looking after does an 8 year old actually need? Depending on the kid it's not necessarily an issue.

I really don’t think SS should be called for a 12 and an 8yr old! Maybe if it was a 14hour day 5 days a week. But she said she only works 5 hours. Many (not all) would be absolutely fine with it and would be very capable of contacting mum/dad/local friend in an emergency. People seem to think older kids are incapable. I have very young kids so obviously not at all safe to leave them for any length of time (going upstairs for a shower is really pushing it!) but even I can see the difference between 12 & 8 for a short day and leaving little kids.

I work in HR. We wouldn’t organise her childcare for her but we might encourage her manager to do a health and well being check with her, to check that everything is ok at home and see if she mentions it. We could then signpost her for extra support but we couldn’t force her to take it.

So it isn't ideal for a variety of reasons but I wouldn't report my neighbour to social services for this. I would need more worries about them to report. They obviously feel it is safe to do this and there isn't actually a law against what she is doing. You could broach it with them if you are worried

Mackerz. I also work in HR, hence my initial response. Not a chance would I have the time, capacity or inclination to pull someone up on their childcare arrangements.

If I, or any other colleague, had a serious concern about neglect then the onus is on us as an individual to report that if necessary, it’s not the organisations responsibility.

We are not social workers, that’s very ‘old school’ HR and has no place in the modern workplace.

Blimey @janey284 with friends like you who needs enemies! 12 and 8 is borderline I admit but I don't think it warrants social services involvement!

@Dorsetdays

I wasn’t expecting a lecture on how to do my job, based on a 6 line post only. It’s very arrogant of you to do that.

I actually work in a modern workplace and we take the health and well being of our employees seriously.

12 and 8 is nothing. Keep your nose out

I am curious as to whether there is actually a minimum age, legally,under which it is a criminal offence to leave a child alone. A close friend of mine has a Dd of nearly 13. She has recently started working 2 days a week from 7am -5pm. Her DH runs her to work at 6.30am,and is home again by 7.10am. When my friend's MIL found out that they were leaving their Dd alone,asleep in bed on these two days,she hit the roof! Said they were 'breaking the law' and that if SS found out,they'd be prosecuted! Really?

When did we decided that anything that falls short of gold star parenting constitutes abuse?

There is no actual law. However if anything happens,the parents would be guilty. Also they are expected to risk asses and make a decision based on their children's needs and development and circumstances.

The law doesn’t say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.
Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, eg at home or in a car.
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC))_ says:
• children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
• children under 16 shouldn’t be left alone overnight
• babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

When our DC were young we were "reported" a couple of times by nosy neighbours, once to the police and once to the RSPCA. Both times we were exonerated of any wrongdoing but they wouldn't tell us who it was.

I think if you haven't got the guts to speak to the person yourself, they've done nothing wrong, and you've reported them they should be told who it was. We were left looking over our shoulders wondering who was so busy watching us. It's a horrible feeling.

I also work with children and if a child disclosed this to me, I am legally required to report it. It may or may not be something SS would deal with, but it is NOT my place to make that decision - I do not have all the small pieces of the jigsaw that may join together to create a worrying bigger picture. The sad fact is that serious case reviews often come back to the problem of people thinking it is 'not serious enough' or thinking somebody else will report a concern. Sadly, serious case reviews are usually held to find out why a child has died. Regardless of my legal duty to report, I know I could never forgive myself if I didn't report something that could have helped keep a child safe and alive.
OP, please, please report this.

My 12 yr old looks 8. They could be older

There have been a few posters saying that "there could be another adult/much older child in the house" or "they could be older than they look" the fact is that you dont know, child protection is a really serious issue and not something that you should take no action on because things "could" be ok. From what you can see it most definitely is not ok, you know that in your heart OP.

Mackerz. Don’t take things so personally.

HR genuinely isn’t there to sort employees personal childcare arrangements out. Of course, something that might impact on an employees wellbeing is a different matter.

However, this isn’t about that, it’s about a colleague having a personal concern. That should stay out of the workplace and if the individual involved has an issue with it, they should take the responsibility for following it up, not try and palm it off on HR.

@dorsetdays

You really are exceptionally arrogant. You have no idea about my job, what level I work at or how much experience I have, yet you still think you should explain to me what my job is and isn’t.

Mackerz. As I said don’t take everything so personally (unless of course it applies to you).

Not arrogant in any sense, just that HR in most organisations has moved on massively since the ‘staff welfare’ days fortunately and certainly in any organisation I’m aware of, advising someone to report this to HR would not be the correct course of action.

Just another perspective 😊

I think “poor children” is a bit melodramatic.

Are you friendly with her? Can’t you just ask?

Controversial but I don’t think it’s that terrible if the oldest kid knows how to summon help if needed (you could offer that he could knock on your door in an emergency!)
Probably biggest risk is mum getting held up/accident/breaking down and taking longer than she thinks

I wouldn’t report her.

I can’t really see an issue tbh. She probably leaves the door unlocked in case there is a fire. The chance of some random person trying their door to kidnap the children is pretty much non existent. A 9 year old is fine home alone for up to an hour imo and if they’re asleep, they won’t have a clue she’s even gone.

Yabu.

You want to report them while not actually talking to them nor know for sure their ages or maturity levels over 20 minutes. You obviously have some kind of awareness if you know how long the parents have been out. Could you not continue keeping a casual eye like you have been doing?

If you are really that concerned, why not go over and talk to the mum. Who knows, she/they could be having a rough time. If you have the confidence to report them then you should be able to go over and talk to her face to face so you can get a fuller picture.