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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report this family for leaving their young dc home alone?

329 replies

Hmmmmminteresting · 03/09/2019 22:21

New family moved in opposite. They're a bit strange. 2 dc age approx 8 or 9 and then another age 3 or 4.
Every morning the DM takes the DP to work at around 6.15 am. Shes gone around 20 mins. Leaves the kids at home, no sign of any lights on so I assume they're in bed and she doesn't want to stir them.
What also makes me nervous is that she doesn't lock the front door. She gets home and just pushes handle down and shes straight in.
Do I keep my nose out or report it?
My close friend has begged me to report however shes a social worker in training!

OP posts:
Billballbaggins · 03/09/2019 22:22

Of course you should report her

00q007 · 03/09/2019 22:24

If she locked them in they couldn't escape in a fire...

Are you sure the older one isn't older than they look?

toadabode · 03/09/2019 22:25

Please please please report - poor children

imnotinthemood · 03/09/2019 22:27

What are you doing at 6.15am every morning for 20 minutes noticing this ?
You need to be sure that they are on their own Also the eldest may be older than you think .
Can you not find out more information? To you talk to these neighbours?

Chocolatelover45 · 03/09/2019 22:27

Why don't you go and talk to them - you could offer to watch the children for the 20 mins. What do you hope to achieve by reporting them? A whole load of stress for the family and it's unlikely any harm will come to the children unless there's more to this.

BeardedMum · 03/09/2019 22:28

Of course you should not report her

Etino · 03/09/2019 22:30

Really interested to see these replies. Statistically I’m pretty certain that the risks of bundling 3 children into a car daily for an unnecessary drive outweigh the risk of them coming to harm home alone.

Camomila · 03/09/2019 22:31

I'd ask her how old her kids were in passing, ages are hard to guess sometimes.

greensnail · 03/09/2019 22:32

I don't think it's that terrible. My 9 year old would be capable of keeping an eye on a sleeping 4 year old for 20 minutes and seeking help if it were needed for any reason.

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 03/09/2019 22:32

I agree @Etino - wouldn't even cross my mind to report. If you're up and about at that time, offer to keep an eye.

moonpiggle · 03/09/2019 22:33

I totally agree with greensnail.

unitednations · 03/09/2019 22:34

There's no law about what age you can leave children alone.

Even if you reported it and there we no other concerns it would at the most be a telephone call or letters from children's services giving advice.

ultrablue · 03/09/2019 22:34

Is there another locked door just inside? I have a pvc door then a heavy wooden front door with a Yale lock

Happyspud · 03/09/2019 22:35

I don’t really think these kids are in any more danger than if they were in the car with their mum. It’s not ideal but I think SS have FAR more important cases to focus on.

user1493759849 · 03/09/2019 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EmperorBallpitine · 03/09/2019 22:35

I agree that its safer for her to leave the door unlocked, and she's probably found they are late if she tries to wake the children at that hour. If you don't want to mind them for 20 mins then ignore. Its not very risky behavior.

Mum2jenny · 03/09/2019 22:35

Greensnail’s approach is sensible and pragmatic

Original poster
Hmmmmminteresting · 03/09/2019 22:37

I'm getting ready for work and have a very clear view at this time of day. Also looking after my own DC so no time to babysit! They slam all their doors so easy to hear when they come and go.
I have been quite generous with the older DC age. Dh reckons hes more like 7 but I think he could be 8, 9 at a push.
I honestly dont know the best thing to do in this situation, I have thought about attempting to strike up conversation but they seem quite volatile and in the short time they've been here the police have been out twice and they have had some immense arguments. I just feel a bit bad on the DC being left but then also understand that taking them out of the house for a short time probably seems unnecessary to them

OP posts:
gracepoolesrum · 03/09/2019 22:37

Don't think social services would be very interested in this tbh - it's not great but it's not child protection plan material.

Frazzled74 · 03/09/2019 22:38

Sounds like a family struggling with shift work, child care etc and doing the best they can.

CaptainJaneway62 · 03/09/2019 22:38

I totally agree with greensnail too

TrainspottingWelsh · 03/09/2019 22:39

Are you sure they aren’t older? Dd is tall, dsd is a bit above average and her bf is tiny. Dd was once told off by a mother on a playground for being horrible to a much younger child by a passer by because she and dsds bf were arguing. Dsd had to point out dd was 9 and bf was 13. Bf’s mother also received frequent comments about her dd being too young for x

Original poster
Hmmmmminteresting · 03/09/2019 22:40

@user1493759849 what a strange person you are. Was asking for opinions Hmm

Which part of the world are you living in if it's dark till 7.30am at the moment?

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 03/09/2019 22:40

My dps auntie jost popped to the shop one night while her ds was asleep and he died in a fire. No its not OK to leave children of that age alone at home while you go out in the car. What if she was in an accident. What if the 4 year old woke up panicked and left the house to go find his parents. That's something that could very easily happen. Stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me.

QueefLatifah · 03/09/2019 22:41

💧 drip..drip