To think people with EUPD/BPD get a tough time on here?

[FFSOMG]

I have been diagnosed with bipolar for 12 years. Two months ago my diagnosis changed to EUPD, and a month ago (different psychiatrist) it changed again to both.

I was so, so upset when I received the EUPD diagnosis because of just how stigmatised it is. If a person is behaving horribly you can guarantee that along with narcissistic personality disorder, some poster will suggest EUPD.

People with EUPD are described as manipulative and controlling. Two things I’m definitely not. I’ve been with my DH for nearly 12 years, married for 6, I have good friendships and don’t struggle with relationships. I ‘just’ suffer with extreme low/mixed moods that cause me to self harm and attempt suicide... what I’m try to say is that I am genuine in my attempts, I don’t ‘cry suicide’ as a way of manipulating those around me like some on here accuse people with EUPD of doing. paragraph edited by MNHQ

Personality disorders are so far behind in terms of being understood and accepted by the general public. It seems if I said that I struggle with depression and anxiety that would be ok, but because my diagnosis is emotional unstable personality disorder that people think we are vile monsters.

She suffers all the well documented symptoms yes, because she has a disease that has a defined set of symptoms. One of the main symptoms is a fear of abandonment. This fear manifests itself in manipulative behaviour. Suicide threats, sudden changes of mood if the first one doesnt have the desired effect, lying to people around her, blaming people close to her for her binges. I love her and i know she can't help it, but its classic Bpd and it feels fucking manipulative if you are on the receiving end.

Oh lovely, telling people to shut the fuck up because their experience/opinion is different to yours. From what I can see on here we have outside perspectives and inside perspectives. Those that have or have had EUPD are of the opinion that their behaviour is not destructive, manipulative and controlling. However those on the receiving end will tell you that it is. Perhaps those with EUPD should try and see how their behaviour effects others and how damaging it can be to others and not just themselves. How can you not see that the diagnostic symptoms would not result in such behaviours? As mentioned upthread, EUPD isn’t about a chemical imbalance, like most other mental illnesses.

Look.

BPD has traits (or symptoms if your prefer). It is not necessary to have all the traits in order to fit the criteria for BPD.

There are 150 or so different possible combinations of traits that will ‘qualify’ someone as having BPD.

Therefore, if you have been around someone with BPD, you have been around someone with that particular combination of traits.

I have never said that people with BPD never hurt people or cause distress to others. Of course they do.

What I have been and do fiercely object to is the assumption that ALL people with BPD will behaviour as extremely and awfully to those around them as the one person someone may have known/know.

Because it simply isn’t true. It’s factually inaccurate to say that BPD has x symptoms and therefore all BPD sufferers with be like x

You would never say that about someone with autism. It is well accepted that people with autism will all present with their own unique combination of behaviours which collectively we recognise as autism.

The posters on this thread have tried to educate, we have never denied others experiences, Hausa tried to explain that experience of one person with BPD is not a safe representation of the disorder as whole and to not assume that we are all the same as the awful person you knew.

The poster I lost my temper with (and I do apologise and immediately ask MN to remove it but that hasn’t happened) has repeatedly used language and tone that has been an times extremely offensive and sometimes even somewhat aggressive.

The thread has clearly caused her upset, and in turn she is upsetting others (oh the irony). Perhaps she should take a step back and concentrate on her own issue rather than projecting her experience of one person with BPD onto the many thousands of sufferers.

@Rinoachicken says it perfectly.

@TheRealShatParp You couldn't be more wrong. I don't have a mental illness but a relative was briefly labelled with EUPD traits and I saw the huge injustice, stigma, hostility and prejudice people with this diagnosis have to suffer.

I have since been in contact with many others with this diagnosis and their loved ones, mostly online but some IRL. Most are NOT controlling and manipulative and suffer not only with the pain caused by this disorder but also at the hands of uneducated people who feel the need to abuse the mentally ill. Most of the ones I know almost never self harm or have been to A&E. (I do know someone who does and can phone me all night, so have experience of both types.)

Of course there are those that suffer badly caring for someone with the traits of EUPD that cause havoc and they deserve sympathy too, no one has ever denied this. But they are a minority, which if you educated yourself and were in contact with the majority of people with EUPD and their loved ones you would realise and be ashamed of your judgemental attitude (hopefully).

There is a reason there are many mental health professionals (usually private not NHS), activists and journalists speaking out and fighting this injustice. Mental health has been put back 200 years by misogynistic psychiatrists labelling a growing number of mostly womem with EUPD at the slightest sign of them showing emotions.

Lets hope people who abuse the mentally ill or a loved one never get diagnosed with this (it's surprisingly easy to get a diagnosis for it these days). Then you'll really understand what others are trying to say.

We all have our own experiences and can only really go by that. But let’s be real, how do you think the symptoms manifest themselves?! Impulsive behaviour, intense and unstable relationships (including threatening self-harm and suicide if that person ever leaves you), what is that behaviour if it’s not manipulative and impulsive? I know you don’t like those being mentioned because it’s negative, but unfortunately that is how the symptoms are manifested. This does not mean I lack compassion either, I sympathise, I really do. But I also sympathise with the family and friends involved.
I am in no way comparing EUPD with antisocial personality disorder (aka psychopath) but just to make a point, those with antisocial personality disorder are generally quite unpleasant and can be troublesome. Some go on to commit horrible crimes. Am I being judgemental in thinking that, just because they have antisocial personality disorder? I don’t think so. They fit a certain profile.
I am not suggesting that everyone with the same diagnoses exhibit the same behaviours and symptoms, but it’s kind of like a spectrum. Perhaps I’ve only seen those on the severe end of the spectrum.

@Rinoachicken and OP

I have thought hard about what I want to say here. I haven't had either diagnosis personally but I have in the past attended a trauma group for sufferers of personality disorders and trauma. I have spent time with a lot of very traumatized people.

What I have found is that the people I met who attended these support groups were not doing these things to manipulate. They generally isolated themselves completely before the point of taking such drastic action or came to group to discuss a safety action plan, where we all helped them to think in different ways.

Unfortunately due to government cuts there are not enough of these schemes for the number of people needing to attend. They also dont exist in all areas.

All of this aside, following my rape counselling my CPN advised me that whilst I have diagnosed clinical depression, others, especially victims of abuse themselves, have undiagnosed mental health issues that they wont seek help with, because they are in denial.

What this means is that victims of abuse, beyond the psychotic illnesses, fall broadly in to 3 groups, those who have recovered through support and self reflection, those seeking help and being diagnosed and those in denial of their own issues.

You have both been perfectly reasonable and open minded in this thread, opening yourselves up to an unreasonable degree of scrutiny. But please remember that there are many many mentally ill people who have never been diagnosed and some will be commenting on this thread.

They do not want to be associated with mental illness, it is their greatest fear. My advice is, know your own mind, do not look to other victims of abuse for validation unless it is in a professional controlled environment.

Much love x

@chickenyhead

Thank you x

@Rinoachicken

You are welcome. You are fierce.

You are a credit to any group that you happen to represent.

Stand proud