To think people with EUPD/BPD get a tough time on here?

[FFSOMG]

I have been diagnosed with bipolar for 12 years. Two months ago my diagnosis changed to EUPD, and a month ago (different psychiatrist) it changed again to both.

I was so, so upset when I received the EUPD diagnosis because of just how stigmatised it is. If a person is behaving horribly you can guarantee that along with narcissistic personality disorder, some poster will suggest EUPD.

People with EUPD are described as manipulative and controlling. Two things I’m definitely not. I’ve been with my DH for nearly 12 years, married for 6, I have good friendships and don’t struggle with relationships. I ‘just’ suffer with extreme low/mixed moods that cause me to self harm and attempt suicide... what I’m try to say is that I am genuine in my attempts, I don’t ‘cry suicide’ as a way of manipulating those around me like some on here accuse people with EUPD of doing. paragraph edited by MNHQ

Personality disorders are so far behind in terms of being understood and accepted by the general public. It seems if I said that I struggle with depression and anxiety that would be ok, but because my diagnosis is emotional unstable personality disorder that people think we are vile monsters.

I get it OP.

The stigma behind MH is distressing. My work colleagues pretend to be sympathetic but whenever they are discussing MH issues there are eye rolls as if people are playing on it.

I have a diagnosis of BPD/EUPD and I'm learning that being open about it is not wise

My son is bpd and self medicating on dihydrocodene, the is miraculous even though he is taking 100 tablets a day which is costing me a fortune on private prescriptions hopefully will get his Subutex prescription next week which will have same effect.

@Ringdonna

So he’s doping himself. That’s not going to help solve the root causes or help alleviate the emotional pain - he’s numbing it that’s all.

Please don’t start spouting rubbish about a ‘miracle’ cure for EUPD, that is actually just being drugged into a stupor. If it was was that easy to solve with a pill then psychiatrists would be drugging us all up to the eyeballs - much cheaper than then long term intensive therapy actually required.

EUPD/BPD is not a chemical illness that can be fixed by rebalance the brian chemicals with drugs, such as schizophrenia or Bipolar or Depression.

It is a dis-order of the mind, bought about by trauma at a time when the brain is still developing which damages the ‘normal’ emotional development. In order to ‘fix’ it you have to painfully learn to recognise the ‘thinking errors’ and relearn more appropriate responses to current stimuli.

As a doctor (not connected with psychiatry) I cannot emphasis how dangerous taking 100 dihydrocodeine tablets a day is. The maximum is 8.

The doctor prescribing that dose is straying into very dodgy territory. Professional courtesy stops me writing exactly what I think of them

@StonesRoses

He’s self-medicating, and the poster is getting private prescriptions - undoubtably from multiple sources and being flexible with facts in order to get want her sons has decided he needs.

He’s abusing prescription drugs and she’s facilitating that basically. But thinks it’s a cure!

Fair point - I didn’t consider they could be using multiple doctors.

But it’s still a monumentally stupid and dangerous idea. And presuming the poster isn’t taking her son to multiple doctors in person I think prescribing opioids for a patient you’ve never met and is not registered with you is a daft idea.

Absolutely!

My dsis has BPD

She is lovely but part of her issue is not being able to see when she's being manipulative and controlling. In fact she's started threads on here, completely lying about things that have happened, purely to reassure her that she can get sympathy and attention whenever she needs it.

It is part of the diagnosis.

She even told her therapist about something awful that had happened to her which the therapist was really sympathetic about. Trouble is, it had happened to me, not her.

Not everyone with BPD/EUPD has experienced trauma, although many have. This can be quite tricky, some people feel they have less of a 'reason' or explaination for their symptoms and this alone can be quite an invalidating experience. I totally agree all PDs need a name change, I can't imagine how damning it must feel to get any PD diagnosis.

I agree its a horrible name and it really upset my dsis.

The behaviours that some people see as manipulative need to be viewed in context - this tends to be someone who is desperate, in extreme distress or emotional pain and feel intrinsically their needs will bit be met another way. A big element of Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (used to treat BPD) is teaching interpersonal skills to enable sufferers to get their needs met, amongst other things.

I think sometimes malingering behaviours or fabricated symptoms are attributed to PD, and this gives HCPs and the public a false view of a BPD presentation. Sometimes these behaviours would be more accurately labelled as ficticious disorder.. but it takes a clinician with balls of steel to do this!

I was mistakenly diagnosed with BPD in 2011 I think it was....
turns out I have only a few 'traits of
BPD' but my main diagnosis is now Schizoaffective Disorder (Bipolar type).

When the MH team thought I had BPD they treated me with absolute disdain.
I was having a serious psychotic episode when I was sent to the clinic for DBT in 2012.
At the DBT clinic the nurse said I don't have BPD but had Psychosis & sent me back to the psychiatrist.
Sadly it was too late to save my career.
But the psychiatrist saw how delusional & paranoid I was & medicated me with anti psychotics. I gradually recovered from that episode but I'm on high dose anti psychotics & also anti depressants, I still get breakthrough psychotic symptoms when I get stressed or too tired.
Like paranoia, delusions, hallucinations, etc.

Despite what the DBT clinic said my psychiatrist still insists that I have some traits of BPD as well.
I'm not sure & will question this at my next appointment.
But anyway now I have the schizoaffective diagnosis the MH team are much more helpful!!

I work in a hospital part time & have seen myself how people with BPD get treated & it's not right.

However a colleague's daughter has BPD & is having DBT, she was self harming very badly but since starting DBT she hasn't self harmed. So there can be positive outcomes.

Hi, my 14yo DD’s psychiatrist mentioned ‘emerging borderline personality disorder’ almost as a throwaway line at our last meeting (daughter wasn’t in the room at the time) - which of course had me googling like mad. That was just before we went on holiday so not had a chance to follow up with him, but reading in this thread how BPD is perceived, it could explain why CAMHS were so useless in helping her when she was clearly so unwell. They said it was ‘just stress’ and no further support would be offered. I had to find a private psychiatrist in the end although he hasn’t been able to give a definite diagnosis of anything specific anyway. But I recognise many of the traits that people have described - ‘manipulative’ (as in, her symptoms suddenly get worse when you want to do something that she doesn’t want to), but also very insecure about friends/family and over-reacting to ‘tone of voice’ (like, if I get annoyed when she gets make-up on the carpet). Most places suggest EBPD is the result of serious abuse etc but she swears blind she’s never been sexually abused or anything like that etc, so I am constantly in bits wondering what I’ve done wrong. I do lose my temper sometimes, I smacked her once when she was little and she’s seen me blind drunk a few times, so maybe just being a slightly shit parent at times is enough to break a child? I am so worried for her - and for our whole family in fact.

It’s not just ‘serious abuse’ - insecure or unhealthy attachments in childhood, neglect (emotional or physical), domestic abuse, the list goes on - all have potentially serious long term consequences for a developing brain. BPD/EUPD should not be and is never usually diagnosed until at least 20 and usually around 25, simply because the brain is still development.

We had a very traumatic childhood. Dsis is "stuck" in it, going over and over it in her mind. I do wonder if she has PTSD rather than BPD but this has never been suggested. She 'ticks all the boxes' for BPD. It's been awful to live with for me but it must be horrendous for her.

I had BPD and was cured of it after about a year of intensive psychotherapy with a skilled therapist. At the end he said I no longer met the diagnostic criteria. So it can be cured. You need to put the work in though and be able to self reflect. The day I could take responsibility for my behaviour- without hating myself- was a turning point

You need to put the work in though and be able to self reflect. The day I could take responsibility for my behaviour- without hating myself

I cannot imagine my dsis will ever get to this point. You have done amazingly x

Thanks
The therapy I used was cognitive analytical therapy its brilliant. Dont write your diss off. If shes willing to work with a therapist a good one can work wonders. Of course she has to be willing to engage in the first place. But if the pain of having BPD exceeds the pain of change it may one day be a worthwhile trade off for her.

She isn't willing to engage. She's been through at least 5 therapists and as soon as the work gets round to taking responsibility she quits.

Sorry clouds, can I ask, did you have childhood trauma?

I have a relative with eupd. They overdose multiple times per week the call crisis / home support who call them an ambulance which they refuse. They then laugh and joke around when at hospital and shrug you off saying it's no issue taking 22 nytol tablets they have done it before, and the police were over reacting when they knocked down the door because they weren't really unconscious. All medical professionals seem to agree they are not intending suicide.

They refuse to engage in any proper treatment / are now at the stage of refusing drugs.

That as a family is increasingly hard to deal with. I live nearest so am likely to be the one that finds them when their luck runs out. Their parents are terribly worried but apparently there is nothing that can be done - it cannot be effectively treated with medication, they won't engage in therapy and then cannot keep them sectioned for ever just in case. So basically discharge them home and see what happens.

It's interesting you say about early trauma - they had inpatient treatment for ocd but were discharged as refused to engage.

Their behaviour does seem to escalate if there is any hint of having to address any issues.

I have a best friend who has had bipolar and bpd diagnoses at various times but probably doesn’t have classic presentation of either. BPD seems in her experience to be almost impossible to treat which seems to be why professionals “give up” on it.

I’m not a fan of mental illness being diagnosed, although I understand why they do it. I think they should focus on treating the symptoms, as opposed to the diagnosis. But anyway....
Unfortunately all mental illness is still stigmatised, not just EUPD and BPD. We only really hear about the worst case scenarios in the media. People can be scared of those with schizophrenia but the reality is that what they’re experiencing is a whole lot scarier.
Those with EUPD/BPD get a bad rap, I completely agree. But being close to someone with this kind of diagnosis or those with similar traits can have devastating effects on friends and families. Their behaviour comes across as controlling, manipulative and self absorbed. but of course I don’t think that’s their intention. Their coping mechanisms can be really maladaptive and can be self destructive and destructive towards others. Being at the receiving end can send your anxiety through the roof and bring about a whole host of other negative emotions, which is why it’s not always easy to have compassion. I’m not saying it’s right, but we are all only human and can all only cope with so much.

I agree with everything you've said shatparp both about the labelling and the devastation it causes. Dsis loves us all but can't control her need for validation by playing members of her family off against each other. It's been awful.