To refuse DD “poverty” lunch?

[questions3900]

DD is an elite athlete training many hours. We pay for hot school meals at lunch time as she does long hours straight after school. She phoned me to say that it was announced in form today is poverty lunch where they will have a cup of soup to feel the hardship some people go through and the money saved by not providing full hot food options goes straight to charity. DD called to ask if I would bring snacks for on the way to training. I called the school to complain and they have DD given a full normal lunch. DD is livid and embarrassed. AIBU to think as parents we should at least be told if this is planned? If it I had known in advanced I could have prepared food for on the way to training but I rely on the hot food I pay for her to have at school otherwise.

Yes, fair enough, TheWernethWife. I was looking at it from the perspective of the athlete having access to all the high protein snacks they need after school, not the kids who’ll really suffer from the missed meal.
Apologies, I get your point.

Becky Downie is 27 and still top level. beth Tweddle was 27 when she won her olympic medal. Chuso is in her 40’s and still on the world stage.

The days of such high hours and peaking at 15/16 should be long gone. Burn out and injury are more likely- look at the extraordinary Catherine Lyons.

Be careful o/p. 38 hours on a growing body is too much. I understand it may seem like that is what it takes, and I understand the pressure on you and her, but it’s a long game. Be careful. Be aware of coaches pushing too hard, of injuries not allowed to heal. Listen to the warning signals. Emotional abuse is still rife in gymnastics.

There’s only a handful of clubs train those hours these days.

As for the soup, i think the school are unreasonable, not because if your dd, but those who may not have a decent meal otherwise.

Is a baggie the same thing as a bag?

Oh and back in the 80’s British Gymnastics idea of fuelling it’s elite gymnasts was a mars bar for quick energy and a pack of dates for slow.

My dd has a nutritionist as part of GB squad and their advice is to eat normally when they are growing, try to eat home cooked rather than processed, and the odd mars bar is fine. The strictness around macros and calories shouldn’t be on the radar until they’ve finished growing, it isn’t calculable until then as you can’t assess needs for growth.

Fair enough to complain about the soup lunch. Not fair to then be annoyed that they gave her a full lunch. That's the obvious solution!

Although this happened last semester so irrelevant, but no we are not in England either

@SayOohLaLa this happened last semester, just thought about it today and wanted to know if I was in the wrong. But no we are not in England :)

‘Elite’ in gymnastics often just means the top group in their club, not necessarily Olympic podium potential, sometimes not even the top in their town... My daughter is an ex gymnast. It’s a weird culture. The ‘number of hours’ was often a source of bragging rights and competitiveness between both gymnasts and gym mummies - even though the ‘elites’ would often spend a lot of these hours doing - not a great deal.

Strange to suddenly get so het up about it all over again. It was one meal and about two pounds of your money, and you haven't said the money was a big issue because you're hard up.

Really? It happened last semester?
Your OP says it happened today?

Sounds like the CAFOD family fast day that we used to get strong armed into at school in the late 80s/early 90s.

I would actually have been annoyed. If I go into a restaurant and pay for [insert meal of choice], I would be extremely pissed off if they charged me for that meal and served something inferior whilst patronisingly donating MY money to a charity of their choice!

However, I would have been happy to help the organisers pop their home onto AirBnB for the night so we could donate the proceeds to charity (they could sleep under a bridge that night in solidarity with the homeless).

It’s all a load of nonsense and teaches generally well fed children absolutely bugger all about hunger. Just give to the charity.
Some kids at most schools will be going hungry already and it will do them no favours whatsoever and yes, assuming she’s a teen, a parent making a song and dance and insisting she sits it out would be hugely embarrassing.

Not rt whole ft yet but if you've paid for lunch then lunch is what you should get. It's not up to the school to spend your money on their pet project. I'd have complained too.

I think the op needs a poverty lunch

Really? It happened last semester? Your OP says it happened today?

Can you explain this @questions3900?

To be fair, on re reading the op it says It was announced in form that today is poverty lunch
This just indicates that she only found out on the day itself, not that it actually happened today.

I wonder how many of those children rely on their hot school dinner as the only proper meal they have all day?

And how many therefore went without any real food at all on that day?

HeadintheiClouds “How old is this “elite” athlete?” Why have you put quotes around elite? Seems rather judgy. Elite athletes don’t start at the age of 20, you know. Olympians tend to start at young age and there are a number of schools and school programmes geared towards these children, so they can combine their schooling with their training schedules.

I think YABU. Embarrassing for your DD and not worth making a fuss over.

Your child has a voice. Why did you step in?

I have, as a consenting adult, participated in "poverty lunches" through church. We gather for a light meal, and donate what we would have spent on a "normal" meal. Money raised given to the Lent appeal, and we were told about the causes we were supporting.
But that's the difference.
I'm a consenting adult.
I was told about it on Sunday, and had until Wednesday to decide whether I chose to participate.
Some people chose to make a cash donation instead, as it was a good cause, from their own income.
I control my own budget; my parents had not paid, in good faith, in advance, for my lunch.
I am not in training for an athletic event (God forbid!)
I am not still growing (not intentionally, anyway!).
Any teacher whose pupils are observing Ramadan could tell you how taxing this can be for a growing adolescent. We support them in their free choice, and give them permission to stay in and take it quietly during lunchbreak; it's especially tiring if Ramadan falls in the long summer days.
The school needs to consider in advance those pupils whose main meal of the day can be at school, pupils who for medical reasons need to eat a regular amount, regularly (eg diabetic), pupils whose evening meal will be much later because of attending after-school clubs.
It's a shame that a worthy aim has ended up as the cause of controvery

I did a 4 hour training session on just breakfast this morning. I have yet to collapse with rhabdomyolosis. Your DD will cope with a slightly smaller lunch for one day. There are children who are in poverty who go one to become elite athletes after all.

Although this happened last semester so irrelevant, but no we are not in England either

@SayOohLaLa this happened last semester, just thought about it today and wanted to know if I was in the wrong. But no we are not in England

Then first post:

DD is livid and embarrassed

She is livid...about something that happened last semester?