To refuse DD “poverty” lunch?

[questions3900]

DD is an elite athlete training many hours. We pay for hot school meals at lunch time as she does long hours straight after school. She phoned me to say that it was announced in form today is poverty lunch where they will have a cup of soup to feel the hardship some people go through and the money saved by not providing full hot food options goes straight to charity. DD called to ask if I would bring snacks for on the way to training. I called the school to complain and they have DD given a full normal lunch. DD is livid and embarrassed. AIBU to think as parents we should at least be told if this is planned? If it I had known in advanced I could have prepared food for on the way to training but I rely on the hot food I pay for her to have at school otherwise.

Very embarrassing for DD. But 100% you are correct. You can't just announce on the day that the kids won't be fed !
It's an interesting concept to teach children but they could at least give you a weeks notice

Cassilis if she's really an elite gymnast her nutrition should be seen as part of her training, she shouldn't be relying on school dinners to meet her nutritional needs. People that train seriously usually have protein shakes and bars with them. Her coach should be aware of this as well.

@HeadintheiClouds, my daughter has Type 1 diabetes. She would absolutely need more than a bowl of soup to keep her from going hypo in the afternoon, even with the correct bolus of insulin.

I don't know how it would affect someone with Type 2, but it most certainly would affect someone with Type 1.

Some areas of Enlgand started back this week, for those asking why she's at school, as well as Scotland.

This is why children really don’t need a phone at school. Every minor inconvenience reported in real time. Instant response from permanently angry parent who demands instant resolution to their complaint.

recrudescence
To be fair, we would allow a student in that situation to call from student reception and ask for snacks before training.

I agree on the impact of calling and reporting minor issues in real time leading to silly situations though

recrudescence It was a perfect use of a phone at school, the minor inconvenience was not an inconvenience for the child at all - the problem was purely the parent, who decided to embarrass their daughter and interfere where they weren't needed.

The lesson that needs learning is not "don't use phones", it's "stop interfering in your child's life, wait for them to ask for help."

I'm sorry but I don't believe for one minute that this was sprung on the class, and I'm pretty sure there would have been a opt out option also. Otherwise it would basically be theft, and could potentially be dangerous for a child with special dietary requirements too! I'm amazed that you'd rather embarrass your DD like that instead of just bringing her some snacks OP. Poor kid must be mortified.

StormTreader it's being paid out of her mother's money?

Sounds great that she's doing so well, if only we encouraged success more in this country

The lesson that needs learning is not "don't use phones", it's "stop interfering in your child's life, wait for them to ask for help."
I agree with this.
Sometimes take a step back and don't jump in guns blazing and then wonder why your child is annoyed or embarrassed.

YANBU, it is not up to the school to decide to give to charity on your behalf, especially without consulting you first.

What about those children where that is possibly the only meal they get, because they are actually living in poverty all the time?

This is just virtue signalling, and actually changes nothing. It should've been something you opted in to, not something that was forced on to everyone, regardless of personal circumstances.

If you've paid for a full school dinner, then that is what you should expect to get.

This is an appalling decision on the part of the school.

Some kids, that lunch is their main meal.

It is also not ok for a child to be left hungry at school. It impairs learning. Knowingly tanking an afternoon of lessons is not a good message. Yes, there are hungry children at school all the time. The solution is to combat that, not impose it on more kids in some misguided attempt to get them to understand poverty.

The "Elite" thing can be annoying.
My daughter was a pretty good gymnast in her day, but when she and I saw what the "Elite" had to go through - and what it did to their characters - it put both of us off.

The following is purely hearsay and based on what a friend of my OH told him. Apparently, she was in the same athletics group as Sebastian Coe, but he used to be treated like a little prince, seemed very arrogant and was disliked by his peers because he never interacted with them.

Nevertheless, it certainly paid off for him. But I bet there are loads of people who were seen to be "Elite" as children in various sports who sank without trace (not just the swimmers ).

It depends what you want, what sort of person you want to be and how likely that gold medal (or whatever) is to arrive.

YANBU. What an awful pet project to impose on everyone. What as about diabetic students or those with calorific needs. Some may already be poverty stricken!

I think there's two separate issues here:

1. Was the school misguided in this initiative? I think most people say it was poorly thought through and ridiculous. Most people probably wouldn't have an issue with an email to the school pointing out that it's a silly project and could they consider other ways etc (I'd leave diabetes etc out of it as even on silly initiatives there's already things in place for medical etc)
2. Was the OP unreasonable to call the school demanding a separate meal because her child is an elite athlete who needs a separate meal cooking Vs soup for lunch when her child hasn't complained about it and has just asked for some snacks later? (Because they are so elite that soup for lunch with a snack later is some massive deal, but not so elite that the nutrition plan for training seems to allow for "whatever you fancy from school dinners each day")

The two aren't the same thing. It's possible to think the school meal situation was a ridiculous way to raise awareness, whilst still thinking the OP's actions were excessively dramatic and caused embarrassment to her child who is, if I remember, unimpressed at the scene caused.

Here's a as a snack.

@LolaSmiles

True.

As far as 1. goes, it seems strange the school didn't inform people about the plan.
If they didn't, they were unreasonable and have used OP's money for a purpose for which is was not intended. Most schools would try to avoid doing that, so maybe there was a letter home that went astray or was forgotten about.

As far as 2. goes, I don't know of course, but I suspect even Simone Biles could cope with one smallish change to her lunch, even though it wouldn't be ideal.

Charity is not an obligation. I would object on the grounds I object to being half nelsoned into contributing to somone elses pet project.

This with bells on! So you pay for your child's lunches, the school takes the money and doesn't give you what it is you paid for then they give the money away without your consent?

I don't need to "experience" poverty to know it's a bad thing and almost every person in the world knows what hunger feels like. Just like I don't need to suffer a medical condition to have sympathy for those who do.

What's wrong with soup? Am I missing something!? I thought soup was pretty nutritious?! My oh takes soup for his lunch everyday, cycles to station, has a cereal bar on the train, the walks 3 miles to his office... His job takes him out of the office, meeting clients, and being on his feet alot, so it's not not as if he's sat down most of the day, inactive. He has his soup at lunch, then does the journey in reverse but has to jog to get to the station on time so takes his running trainers, and just gets home in time for dinner cooked by my unenthusiastic hands. (We always have fresh veg or salad, but it's usually pretty unimaginative!) The soup does him for the majority of his working day, I don't see why soup is considered a poverty lunch. Alot of adults in poverty go without lunch most/all days so their kids can eat. They would probably be delighted to have soup for their lunch. If they said they weren't providing any food to teach the kids about poverty, I would understand your issue, but I don't see the big deal with soup.

"JanewaysBun Fri 30-Aug-19 14:54:24
StormTreader it's being paid out of her mother's money?"

"... and the money saved by not providing full hot food options goes straight to charity"

So her mother paid for the lunch, but the school is donating that money to charity instead of using it to buy the actual food.

I didn’t claim it was hard to understand, I said it was two quid.

There are some charities that I wouldn't give a penny to, let alone two quid!

I don't see why soup is considered a poverty lunch

It’s not soup soup, it’s a cuppa soup. Not very big, filling and full of salt and crap.

Either way, they need sustenance and probably don't have a whole lot of body fat to burn. Athletic children don't tend to have body fat to spare

Everybody has some body fat; that is how the body stores energy. We would all die of starvation in our sleep otherwise. Blood glucose in healthy people stays within a tight normal range, whether or not you have just eaten. Whatever the OP's DD had eaten for lunch would have been stored - it's not sloshing around in the blood. You do not need to keep eating to maintain a constant blood glucose. Some PPs on this thread clearly skived off biology lessons

To be fair, we would allow a student in that situation to call from student reception and ask for snacks before training.

Exactly! The pupil would ask us to make a phone call, we’d ask why, we’d sort it out with the canteen. No drama necessary.

It’s not soup soup, it’s a cuppa soup
Where have you got this from, Latte? The OP says ‘ a cup of soup’ not a ‘cuppa soup’. A cup of soup is just a portion size, surely?