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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse DD “poverty” lunch?

263 replies

questions3900 · 30/08/2019 12:09

DD is an elite athlete training many hours. We pay for hot school meals at lunch time as she does long hours straight after school. She phoned me to say that it was announced in form today is poverty lunch where they will have a cup of soup to feel the hardship some people go through and the money saved by not providing full hot food options goes straight to charity. DD called to ask if I would bring snacks for on the way to training. I called the school to complain and they have DD given a full normal lunch. DD is livid and embarrassed. AIBU to think as parents we should at least be told if this is planned? If it I had known in advanced I could have prepared food for on the way to training but I rely on the hot food I pay for her to have at school otherwise.

OP posts:
HeadintheiClouds · 30/08/2019 16:09

Op said cup of soup, not cuppa soup. I doubt the school would have bought crate loads of those sachets rather than make a big vat of actual soup?

crosstalk · 30/08/2019 16:18

Another one thinking the school must have told parents so those with physical problems (sports, hypoglyaecaemia etc) would know. And thinking that in any school there would be children dependent on the full school meal for nutrition because of domestic circumstances so the bowl of soup and bread will be a bit of a problem.

So OP should have spoken politely to the school and checked it wasn't something she should have known about. If it wasn't, she's right to call the school out but probably could have just taken her girl something that would have made her less embarrassed.

Iike others, I think it's worth schools contacting children and parents about what they can do. It's tricky collecting money for the starving when we have foodbanks and deprived children everywhere in GB some of whom may have been at this school (and always have done). Perhaps they could contact a gurdwara, church or local supermarket?

greentheme23 · 30/08/2019 16:26

What century is this op? Poverty lunch. Dear me. 😁 Elite athlete he he!

Sagradafamiliar · 30/08/2019 16:29

😂

HelenaDove · 30/08/2019 16:29

I take it this school puts its money where its mouth is and doesnt insist on expensive school uniform and logos etc and/or restricted expensive suppliers.

HelenaDove · 30/08/2019 16:33

If a school wants to show what its like for poorer children then just show some kids sitting in isolation booths Thats what usually happens when poorer kids get punished because their parents cant afford the uniform.

SarahTancredi · 30/08/2019 16:39

Thats what usually happens when poorer kids get punished because their parents cant afford the uniform

Ah but they cant put their little certificate on the notice board or get likes on Twitter and face book for helping the actual kids in their school with uniform supplies and stocking up the medical room with sanpro....

Wheres the fun in that...

KTheGrey · 30/08/2019 16:40

If somebody takes your money for food and doesn't provide food this is stealing. Children are not supposed to leave school during the day, so they are being forced to go hungry. What kind of people think kids going hungry is a good thing? Is it Dotheboys Hall?

HeadintheiClouds · 30/08/2019 16:51

Forced to go hungry... What did you have for lunch, KTheGrey?
Are you still hungry? Were you allowed snacks at 4pm if you wanted (!), like op’s dd?

Graphista · 30/08/2019 17:10

Wtf are the school playing at??

As pps point out not just your dd but many of the other children could well have had very good reasons why this is not feasible for them!

Kids who are ALREADY poor and for whom school lunch may be their one decent meal a day, diabetics, kids who have medication to take on a full stomach, kids with other medical conditions that mean their diet must be carefully monitored/organised (eg I would NOT have been impressed had this happened to my child during her school years as she has a condition that means she is VERY slim, struggles to keep UP a healthy weight and NEEDS the calories and NEEDS a certain amount of fat in her diet to protect her joints)

I'd also be livid if I'd paid for the lunch because what charities I support/donate to are MY choice and not a decision I would welcome being forced on me!

Utter tokenist, virtue signalling crap! Bet the teachers & other staff still had their regular lunch!!

AlsoHuman - come on! You're an mn regular surely you know the schools go back in August in places outside England?

Ornery · 30/08/2019 17:11

Dd’s school has a good bunch of national youth athletes on various ‘own the podium’ type programmes. It’s not unusual for kids to go straight from school to 4 or 5 hours of training (even dd did this four nights a week as a competitive dancer, with absolutely no plans to take it to career level). Most of these kids carefully pack their snacks every morning. Little baggies of whatever they use to fuel up (along with the general crap that all teens eat whenever). Even dd packed her snacks every day despite having no intention of taking it further - it was just part of the routine.
That said - the kids on the Olympic path are just as teenage as their peers. They eat a muffin and a can of coke instead of their sandwich because they feel like it. They work through lunch because they forgot their homework (and don’t eat). They left their lunch in the fridge. They forgot their money so can’t go to the canteen. Etc. But they always have little baggies of whatever in their sports bags to tide them over (either freshly packed or unfinished from the day before). And if they don’t (because they are teenagers...) then they train without and learn to be more organized next time because it’s one shit training session and the coach yells at them.
Why isn’t dd organized? Teenagers miss lunch and/ or eat shit all the time, even the Olympic hopefuls (or they do here anyway) but they get by because they have their bag ready for all eventualities. She wouldn’t go to training without a water bottle, why does she go without snacks?

Poverty lunches are a shit idea. But if dd is an athlete of any stripe, she needs to take responsibility for her own prep. And that includes organizing her snacks. Every day. So she isn’t caught out by the ordinary vagaries of life.
I’m weirdly fascinated by the idea of an athlete that is so finely tuned they freak out at a soup lunch. The athletes round here are a bit more robust.

StormTreader · 30/08/2019 17:17

"Blood glucose in healthy people stays within a tight normal range, whether or not you have just eaten."

Well yes but we're not talking about not having an 11am biscuit, we're talking about an unplanned fast from breakfast until dinner with a small cup of soup somewhere in the middle. If a student is given breakfast at 7 and doesn't usually have dinner until 7pm or later then thats a 12 hour window where parents are expecting they will have the food that they have paid for. Hunger headaches and lightheadedness are very possible, and thats not conducive to an afternoon of effective schoolwork.

It's a bit odd to try and make out that having lunch is some kind of niche fad that we all just do for no reason whatsover.

KTheGrey · 30/08/2019 17:20

@HeadintheiClouds
On SLT at the school are you?

HeadintheiClouds · 30/08/2019 17:24

No. But I had a bowl of soup for lunch and I’m still standing Grin

SnorkMaiden81 · 30/08/2019 17:29

Sorry, I didn't get past 'Elite Athlete'. Hmm

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 30/08/2019 17:35

I didn’t claim it was hard to understand, I said it was two quid.

If your bank took money out of your account to give to charity, without asking you, you'd be pissed off.

purplepoop · 30/08/2019 17:42

Id be angry. My DC2 is 16 and is an elite athlete (International level) Training 4 times a week. They need food, have to keep their calories up, and DC has a hot meal at school, which i pay for. Being given soup for lunch to point out poverty is a ridiculous idea.

bbcessex · 30/08/2019 17:44

Hi OP

my DD was a competitive gymnast up till aged 13 but she only trained 22 hours a week: to move to the next level (30+ hours ) meant scaling back on school attendance and focusing on only core GCSEs.

I'm surprised your DD is having unsupplemented school dinners with that level of training - do her coaches not give their squads nutrition plans?

Definitely soup only for lunch is nowhere near sufficient but you've gone well over the top with the school - your DD should have regular nutritional snacks with her throughout the day anyway to sustain her muscle development and energy.

Saddler · 30/08/2019 17:46

I agree with you OP

TheWernethWife · 30/08/2019 17:49

Head I was on Free School Meals, my mother was a disabled single parent. The school lunch was the only proper meal of the day, tea was soup or something eggy. You may have had a bowl of soup for your lunch but I bet you have something substantial later.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 30/08/2019 17:49

I’m sure she would have managed on a bowl of soup and whatever snacks you brought for the journey to training.

edwinbear · 30/08/2019 17:51

What ornery said - with bells on.

NameChangerAmI · 30/08/2019 17:51

YANBU, OP.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 30/08/2019 17:52

We have an elite athlete in school and he has to be very very careful with his food intake and has emergency supplies in the medical room.

Totally reasonable

AtillatheHun · 30/08/2019 17:55

yy to @Ornery
(especially about the many elite and even mere squad gymnasts I know - they eat crap and have v little nutritonal advice or support from the club)
The "elite" thing is a bit of a term of art used by gym clubs and which translates very very badly into the real world.