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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse DD “poverty” lunch?

263 replies

questions3900 · 30/08/2019 12:09

DD is an elite athlete training many hours. We pay for hot school meals at lunch time as she does long hours straight after school. She phoned me to say that it was announced in form today is poverty lunch where they will have a cup of soup to feel the hardship some people go through and the money saved by not providing full hot food options goes straight to charity. DD called to ask if I would bring snacks for on the way to training. I called the school to complain and they have DD given a full normal lunch. DD is livid and embarrassed. AIBU to think as parents we should at least be told if this is planned? If it I had known in advanced I could have prepared food for on the way to training but I rely on the hot food I pay for her to have at school otherwise.

OP posts:
lovemenorca · 01/09/2019 10:21

I’d be livid at this too.

Good grief. Get some perspective!

notacooldad · 01/09/2019 10:29

A skipped lunch would not work for us and I’d be annoyed if I wasn’t informed in advance so that I could sort out extra provisions for him
But lunch hasn't been skipped. They gave soup and saved on other food options.
After all the schools I've been in to and seen their offererinfs for lunch soup would be the better option!!

HiJenny35 · 01/09/2019 10:36

That's the point that they feel hungry. She would have been ok and no you shouldn't have made a fuss.

bluebluezoo · 01/09/2019 12:17

I’d be livid at this too. I donate lots to charity but I wouldn’t want it forced on me. I also struggle with my child’s weight and eating. He also suffers from low blood sugar and passes out regularly at school. It’s a constant battle to get enough calories into him. A skipped lunch would not work for us and I’d be annoyed if I wasn’t informed in advance so that I could sort out extra provisions

Passing out regularly? Is he diabetic or have a metabolic disorder? Low blood sugar to the point of passing out regularly is not normal. Blood sugar in an otherwise healthy person is very tightly regulated.

Does he have a diagnosis, out if interest?

I’d be incredibly worried about a child passing out regularly at school.

LatteLove · 01/09/2019 12:25

To all the virtue signallers - if you’d paid for a meal for yourself and didn’t get it but a cup of soup and told the rest of your money was being donated to charity you’d be Ok with that?

SarahTancredi · 01/09/2019 12:31

latte
Most of MN seem to be prepared to overlook being stolen from, ripped off, discriminated against, defrauded etc. If it's a school that's doing it 🙄

In no other context would things be so blindly accepted...

supermommyof4 · 01/09/2019 13:06

@pallisers yet if we sent them with bread and water its likely social services would be called. It's not on..its basically stealing. My children are well aware of how lucky they are to have parents who work hard and provide them with good food and they know not all children are as lucky.
We work hard and expect out kids to get what we pay for. Mine would refuse to eat it and that would cause serious issues they would likely get migraine as lack of food and water is a trigger, plus how are they expecting children to focus or learn on an empty tummy. It's something that should be voluntary and parents should be asked especially as the parents are paying for it.

ZaraW · 01/09/2019 13:07

Latte yes I'd be happy with that. I didn't realise I was a virtue signaller thanks for letting me know......

Bouledeneige · 01/09/2019 13:13

Well its not really a crisis is it? How on earth do people cope when something really serious happens if this is a major drama?

Most kids can manage to get a snack if they need it on their way home. My kids would often found the canteen at school ran out of what they wanted to eat. No biggie. And your daughter asked you to bring snacks.

SarahTancredi · 01/09/2019 13:13

Seriously zara ?

So if you walked into a cafe ordered steak and chips paid your 14.99 and got presented with a can of asda tomato soup that would be ok?
Yeah right

supermommyof4 · 01/09/2019 13:15

If i ordered steak and chips and someone bought me soup, i would go mad. Sorry but I am not going to be ripped off or stolen from, from a business, school or anyone. I teach my kids to stand up for themselves not be ripped off. Charity is great but it should never ever be forced onto people, you dont know what someones life is like or how they might be struggling so to force it is wrong.

LatteLove · 01/09/2019 14:49

Latte yes I'd be happy with that.

Really?!

And IMO if someone was happy to be ripped off and not getting what they paid for because someone decided they needed some sort of lesson about poverty they’d be either a virtue signaller or a complete mug!

ZaraW · 01/09/2019 16:22

lol whatever.... Give me soup over steak I've not eaten meat since I was 18. Off to polish my halo.....

HeadintheiClouds · 01/09/2019 16:36

A bit of perspective, guys... The alternative to soup in this case was absolutely not steak, you can bet anything you like on that; neither did it cost anything approaching £14.99.

LatteLove · 01/09/2019 16:40

I didn’t say steak or £14.99. But if I went into the cafe across the road from my work and ordered a £4 Greek salad and got £1.50 soup because they were giving my £2.50 to charity on my behalf I’d be pissed off! I can’t imagine most folk would think that was fine for them to use the money I’d given them for a specific purpose to donate to charity?

HeadintheiClouds · 01/09/2019 16:40

As to the one who’s child couldn’t possibly get through the day with a bowl of soup instead of a full school dinner (not exactly renowned for their massive portions) as they regularly pass out at school anyway, what on earth??
Your problems are greater than the odd bowl of soup... Get your kid some medical attention Confused

LatteLove · 01/09/2019 16:41

And no of course it wouldn’t be a “crisis” nor would my pissed offness be an indicator that I had nothing else to worry about but I decide what I spend my money on and if it includes charitable giving that’s also my choice.

strawberrieshortcake · 01/09/2019 16:49

LemonPrism
‘Let then eat cake’

Really?

Completely tone deaf and inconsiderate considering the context.

Also OP, YABU and interestingly telling lies in your original message that the incident occurred today in order to avoid people saying that it was irrelevant considering it was last semester.

You or your dd will have certainly been informed before hand and either one of you forgot.

strawberrieshortcake · 01/09/2019 16:52

@BizzzzyBee

What would the educational board have to say about a charitable scheme that you could opt out of?

OP was informed before hand, it happens at many schools around the country and people can opt out before.

You are truly ridiculous.

strawberrieshortcake · 01/09/2019 16:52

@LemonPrism

strawberrieshortcake · 01/09/2019 16:54

@LatteLove

Yes on a one of occasion to donate money to people who are starving, I’d do that and would definitely teach my children to do so also.
Some of us try to be nice people.

Newname12 · 01/09/2019 17:05

As to the one who’s child couldn’t possibly get through the day with a bowl of soup instead of a full school dinner (not exactly renowned for their massive portions) as they regularly pass out at school anyway, what on earth??
Your problems are greater than the odd bowl of soup... Get your kid some medical attention confused

I’m hoping it was hyperbole. Kid has some major medical problems if he’s passing out multiple times a day. And it won’t be related to not eating/low blood sugar. There’s something else going on.

bellabasset · 01/09/2019 17:45

This is a high handed action taken without sufficient thought for the individual pupils dietary needs. Fine if it is notified in advance so parents can check dietary needs are met.

SarahTancredi · 01/09/2019 19:35

Yes on a one of occasion to donate money to people who are starving, I’d do that and would definitely teach my children to do so also
Some of us try to be nice people

And how do you know if we are nice people or not ffs.

I've contributed to dozens of causes. Baked cakes for many a bake sale at a significant cost of ny own time and money.

Bought costunesnand fuxk knows what else fir every mufti and costume day going for some charity event school decides its going to ask for money for.

So no, if people like me have pre paid for and budgeted for meals at school and planned food, time, etc accordingly and school decide to not provide that in some.pathetic attempt to appear charitable whilst starving the very poverty stricken kids they claimed to he trying to help, those that managed to be allowed in school and haven't been sent home when parents cant pay for over priced logo shit , priced put of even applying to the school that is, then I dont think that makes people unkind.

SarahTancredi · 01/09/2019 19:39

And if school really cared they would do it daily.

Serve a much lower cost lunch and make the lunches more affordable to even more people so more people are fed....

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