To refuse DD “poverty” lunch?

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DD is an elite athlete training many hours. We pay for hot school meals at lunch time as she does long hours straight after school. She phoned me to say that it was announced in form today is poverty lunch where they will have a cup of soup to feel the hardship some people go through and the money saved by not providing full hot food options goes straight to charity. DD called to ask if I would bring snacks for on the way to training. I called the school to complain and they have DD given a full normal lunch. DD is livid and embarrassed. AIBU to think as parents we should at least be told if this is planned? If it I had known in advanced I could have prepared food for on the way to training but I rely on the hot food I pay for her to have at school otherwise.

zara i remember doing the 24 hour fast for SCIAF but I certainly wouldn’t have done it and then trained. Most children would be fine having one simple meal, but when your child trains like that (op said 38 hours a week!!) then it’s not enough.

It isn’t up to the school to decide that everyone doesn’t get a full lunch today. There are better ways of sharing how hard it is for a lot of people. Cooking on a budget in Home ec, 24 hour fasts, budgeting lessons with a variety of incomes etc.

Don’t want to be too outing - she’s at secondary school

goodness. That's more than u18s doing national training for GB. And no rest day?

It's not difficult to round some snacks up. It only takes 5 mins to pop into a corner shop or supermarket to get some bits if you were picking her up from work or didn't have anything at home.
I'm not sure the issue. If she had a medical need so had to have more sustenance then that's a different situation.

If your kid is the only elite athlete that had a dinner and everyone else had a cup a soup I hate to break it to you op, but you're already outed!

What about the kids for whom the lunch from school is the only meal they get? How does the school justify this? If they get a different lunch they are being singled out.

A) I do not like to be told who to donate money too.
B) lunch is the only hot meal for lots of kids in poverty so it's abhorrent to virtue signal when maybe your mate sitting next to you is going to struggle eating a forced poverty lunch when that's all they will get today.
C) school should have informed you.

You sound privileged and entitled.

How is it privileged and entitled to expect her child to have the lunch she paid for?

I’m with you OP. I can’t stand this virtue signalling tokenistic bollocks. See also enforced food bank donation as beloved by my son’s high school

Forced charity pisses me off. It's rude. If you are paying for a daily service then it's polite and proper for you to be informed in advance that on this occasion your money is not covering that service and is being given to charity instead. So I would have been peeved about that, but I wouldn't have called the school, that seems like an overreaction. Surely if they had asked you would have agreed? It's just one day. How embarrassing for your daughter...

Besides, they may have mentioned it via announcement or letter to your DD and she just hasn't passed it on to you.

Ffs it’s one meal. I’m not surprised your daughter’s pissed of with you, OP.

How is it privileged and entitled to expect her child to have the lunch she paid for?

Isnt it technically fraud? They were given money for something then without consent of those paying the money was used for something else?

If it's possible to adequately feed children for less money then why arent they doing so then passing the saving onto parents?

And if it wasnt a meal deemed adequate then arent there guidelines issued to schools against this?

I know this isn't the question you asked, but how does your DC fit 38 hours a training round school and homework (even assuming she doesn't do anything else)? Does she ever sleep?

It's absolutely ridiculous of the school. Assuming it's a state school (which of course it may not be), there will be pupils that absolutely need their proper lunch due to no dinner later.
The school should give warning of these things.
It's completely pointless anyway. If they want to give children an idea of poverty they'd be better taking them a couple of times a year to volunteer somewhere.

How old is your DD, OP? There are thousands of people on here with sporty children. You will not 'out' yourself by saying her age.

Ps I can see why your daughter was embarrassed though. I'd apologise to her and say you didn't think how embarrassing it would be for her- it will mean a lot. My mum would never admit when she was wrong and it really annoyed me as a teen.

Kids are always embarrassed by their parents. She’ll get over it, it’s hardly the end of the world

I'm also unsure of how your daughter trains so much on top of school. She must be absolutely exhausted. Teens need a lot of sleep and a chance to blow of steam.

I think the school are being totally unreasonable to be honest. What about the children at school who genuinely rely on their free school meal because they’re living in poverty.
They might have only had soup to eat all day yesterday due to this (stupid) idea.

Not famous. Known within the sport perhaps but that’s the same with all sports. It’s very common for gymnasts of all disciplines to do such high hours. Missed sports afternoons at school, weekend training, mornings etc etc

Term elite is used in gymnastics. Gymnasts peak much younger than other sports

Bloody hell thats full time work hours on top of school she must get exhausted! Is that all weekend every weekend?

Sorry derailing just didn't realise that kids did that number of hours alongside full time schooling, she must be bloody good and so dedicated!

I wish schools would organise something like a day trip for kids to volunteer at a food bank etc.

When it comes to teens especially I think proactively doing something can spark a passion for charity work, whereas giving something up doesn't have the same kind of impact as there's still a distance between them and the cause.

So precious!

No-one should be forced to give to an unspecified charity. It should always be voluntary, so the school's actions were wrong IMO. Like many others I prefer to choose which charities I give to. And the short notice is unacceptable.

Love the people calling out the amount of hours 😂 google it. Once you are high up and if you really want to maintain your level or become even better as an elite gymnast you will be doing that many hours. 6 hours school 7 hours training that’s still 11 hours to do homework, eat and sleep. Remembering that weekends there is no school so that’s an extra 6 hours per day study or sleeping or maybe some of the extra hours training.