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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that I have the most petty neighbours in the world?

249 replies

Reallybadidea · 29/08/2019 22:04

Previous complaints have included:

  • the sound of our bathroom extractor fan is annoying
  • our dogs look at their dogs through the fence (not barking, just looking)
  • our standard 6ft high fence causes too large a shadow
  • our visitors parking in front of our own house which is where the neighbours like to park

And the latest: there is an apple in their garden and they don't own an apple tree. We do, therefore we must have thrown this apple into her garden. Even if we did (which we didn't) it's just a fucking apple for Pete's sake Hmm

Has anyone got neighbours who have even more trivial complaints, or do I win some sort of prize?

OP posts:
Mother87 · 30/08/2019 19:06

Durian fruit??

Mother87 · 30/08/2019 19:08

Crosspost 70'snotalimit - yep they'd be well sorted with pre-sliced durianShock

ChancePeace · 31/08/2019 09:48

Mine complained about noise when I had a newborn. They like to control how my gardens look and even go so far as to accost my visitors telling them to cut my grass. I just don’t see how you can be so obsessed with other people’s gardens. Mine isn’t encroaching on their land or public land so there’s no issue. Ironically they’ve got a tree in their front garden that overhangs onto the pavement meaning you have to duck to walk

That’s all that they’ve managed to complain about as I’m a respectful neighbour. I’ve never said a word to them other than when I was asked by the head builder of a construction site behind us to talk to them about trespassing on their site and cutting trees down. They’re obsessed with other people’s trees and stealing the wood from them. Cut down all mine from my front garden when I was on holiday. The weirdest part is they don’t even use the wood, just store an abundance of it in their gardenConfused

YoTheGinPussyOfStMawesOnThigh · 31/08/2019 10:23

ChancePeace are you sure your NDN is not Prince Charles? He might be creating a massive logpile to be a home for stag beetles.

Have been relatively lucky with NDNs myself. Just had one who left his mouldering car with personalised numberplate outside his house and never used it. Moved in and put traffic cones outside ours for some deliveries to be made. Turned out to be really nice in the end but was not a good start to a friendship.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 31/08/2019 13:17

My cats must read this , our female has taken to staring through the fence through a gap into the NDN garden

Luckily my NDN aren't batshit or more likely not noticed (yet) that they are under surveillance Grin

(I'll await any CF ery )

YoTheGinPussyOfStMawesOnThigh · 31/08/2019 13:24

I would love any neighbouring cats or dogs to keep me under surveillance. Nothing nicer than a pair of big brown doggy eyes or moonlike cats eyes watching. Would probably be kicking the fence down to get to them to stroke them.

Sleepyhead19 · 31/08/2019 13:24

Ha! How ridiculous! I have problem neighbours. One moved last week (and all the residents did their own whoop) but I have a couple of others who are so inconsiderate. Two of the neighbours kids are absolute bullies to my little one and I feel awful I can't stop it. He's always so nice to them and they are so spiteful to him. I've had words to no avail. Those neighbours also park frequently in my spaces, which are included in my rent. They also have endless visitors and i end up coming home from work to have to park in the next road. I have a neighbour who leaves their dogs out barking until someone screams at them to let the dogs in. It wakes up the children or stops them sleeping. Another plays music ridiculously loud and then i have neighbours who are SO loud shouting at each other, slamming things, breaking glasses/bottles at literally all hours. Needless to say, I'm looking for somewhere else to live!

mogtheexcellent · 31/08/2019 14:19

You need one of these holes in your fence...

tomcatspray · 31/08/2019 14:23

Commiserations to all with difficult neighbours.

We once rented a small place with no back entrance with an outside wheelie bin that tucked just inside a small porch, no front garden, just a path that edged a central green area.

That house was the only one that didn't have a back entrance. Also, the hall was dog-legged with a big storage heater on the wall which would have made it impossible to get a wheelie bin in and out that way.

Our neighbour one day stopped us in the street and told us to get the fucking wheelie bin round the back. Explained we couldn't and he went off on one about our rich, airline pilot landlord and how it was alright for him living in some posh place somewhere while he had to look at our fucking wheelie bin. He was worked up into an absolute fury.

The following Saturday morning, I got up and was about to go out only to find he'd parked immediately outside our front door, pinning the wheelie bin to the door itself.

The grass was churned up and there were tyre tracks all round the green as if he'd been driving round like a lunatic.

The gard was called (Ireland) gard and the was called landlord and things got sorted out, thankfully, as we were literally blocked until the bin and car were removed.

Our landlord proposed that he collect our rubbish and take it away once a week and remove the wheelie bin altogether which we declined owing to how unreliable he was. Luckily other ndn said we could tuck the bin just inside his porch which nutty neighbour couldn't see.

Glad we left after a year and got our own place.

Back to original poster: Tell your neighbours to put some modesty under-garmentry on their brazen animals. It's no wonder your dogs keep looking at them if they're strutting about flaunting their secret parts at them.

lyralalala · 31/08/2019 14:39

We have unallocated street parking as everyone has drives bar two of the twelve houses. One of the houses that doesn’t have a drive has an elderly couple. The man now walks with two sticks. He’s currently waiting on the council painting a disabled bay outside his house, but they are working 8 months behind.

Newish neighbours have a drive that fits 4 cars comfortably (the previous owners could squeeze 6 on it). They have 5 cars atm - Mum, Dad, 2 x teens plus dad’s weekend sports car.

They installed basketball hoops on the drive (despite having a massive garden) so park all of the cars on the street. Fine, they pay for their cars so they are entitled to do so.

Because the DD of the man with sticks had the “nerve” (their words) to ask at the residents meeting if there was any chance people could avoid that space as much as possible when he was coming home from hospital they park there first now.

They’re currently not speaking to us because DH told the lady next door to us to park on our drive if there’s no street spaces to save her parking a walk away with a tiny baby. Apparently it’s unfair we never offered them that

Reallybadidea · 31/08/2019 14:46

@mogtheexcellent I'm actually really tempted to do that...

OP posts:
HereIGoAgainAndAgainAndAgain · 31/08/2019 15:50

OP, please take 2 fruitcakes round and tell them that you saw the cakes and immediately thought of them

PotterHead1985 · 31/08/2019 16:26

Hmm neighbours you say.

My NDN was a fruitloop.

  1. Started throwing wet tissue over the wall at my dog
  2. Progressed to rocks
  3. Also called the ISPCA about said dog saying it was neglected and never walked etc. Obvs they had to come and check it out. When we opened the door the guy was like Shock I thought this was your house but couldn't remember. Obviously this is a wind up but can I see DDog (wed adopted DDog from the local shelter he works at and volunteered there ourselves!). No DDog wasn't walked as she was 17, blind and arthritic.
  4. Put nails in the air intake valves of my car tyres
And the piece de resistance
  1. Put a lit firework through my letterbox at 1am just after Halloween one year, with three cats in the hall. I heard the letterbox and went into the hall confused just as it went off. Yea my hearing is buggered now.
spanglydangly · 31/08/2019 17:31

@PotterHead1985 please say you prosecuted them!

Scotland32 · 31/08/2019 17:55

They are crazy! One tip though.... mirroring. Next time they say something nuts, repeat back to them exactly what they said, very slowly. No guarantee but it MIGHT make them realise the craziness of what they actually just uttered. I try it quite often and it works 50:50 so worth a try at least!!

nuxe1984 · 31/08/2019 18:01

I'm now wishing I had neighbours like this (mine are lovely and no bother) so that I could carry out some of these suggestions!

:) :) :) :) :) :)

NigellaAwesome · 31/08/2019 18:01

Mine told everyone I was a prostitute.

I was genuinely glad when she died.

sugarbum · 31/08/2019 18:11

We have a motion activated security light that is pointed at our parking / garage area. There's no reason for anyone to be on this area other than us as it's off the main road and in a cul-de-sac - It's mostly patio but there's a strip of grass as well.
Our neighbour popped over one day to politely ask us to turn off the security light as it was turning on and startling her ickle doggy when he had his morning wee wees.
We said no, sorry, and could she keep him off our grass as she had her own lawn he could 'wee wee' on. Apparently we were rude to respond in this way as our grass is his favourite toilet patch....

ErinSophia · 31/08/2019 18:16

I live in a flat and my downstairs neighbour phoned the police because our other neighbour farted in her own house! X

ToftyAC · 31/08/2019 18:16

Our neighbours are worse... a lot worse. But I feel your pain OP. Nutty neighbours really do drag your mood down.

m0therofdragons · 31/08/2019 18:23

Mine will go to the effort of moving her car from her driveway to save the space on the road outside our houses when her son goes out so we don't "steal it". We have noticed but she told her son very loudly she was doing it last week without realising dh was in our open garage so heard her. Her reason being, her poor ds doesn't want to have to park up the road and walk "all that way" - there's loads of parking there and it's 6 terraced houses away. He's in the Navy so I assume physically capable but aw the poor baby.

We don't ever "steal" the space we just park legally outside our house when there's a space. It's handy with 3dc but if there's no space we just park up the road.

m0therofdragons · 31/08/2019 18:27

Just remembered, growing up our house has a big semi circular drive and both dB and I had cars while living at home so weekends there would often be 5 cars on the drive plus family events tended to be on a Sunday so sometimes more cars. Our neighbours told everyone in the road that the owners of our house (my parents) we leaders of a religious cult. Dad is agnostic and found it hilarious. We'd lived there my whole life but this rumour began when I was 18!

tobermoryisthebestwomble · 31/08/2019 18:32

Our previous neighbours complained about our trees. One tree overhung their driveway and they were worried a branch 'might break off' and damage their car.
They also complained about our lovely apple trees. The blossom aggravated Mrs Next Door's hay-fever and went on her washing.

The trees had been there before neighbours moved in, so not entirely sure what she was expecting from trees.

Hanywany · 31/08/2019 18:33

My old ndn punched me and kicked me in the stomach when i was 5 months pregnant with 4th dc, also saying she was going to stab me because i merely asked if she could move her car back as she parked with her bumper touching my bumper deliberately, she was an right fucker!!! Angry

DarlingNikita · 31/08/2019 18:34

our dogs look at their dogs through the fence (not barking, just looking)

That really made me laugh.

I love the idea of googly-eyed fruit.

And please don't compost the plums! Surely you can use them for something (crumble) or give them to visitors?