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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say no to my DH’s request to commit theft?

121 replies

Ifyousayso2019 · 27/08/2019 22:55

Name changed

I ordered about £150 worth of clothes from a well known online fashion retailer on Friday (23rd).

When I placed the order, they said that my clothes would arrive anytime on or before this Friday (30th) - that’s the only communication I’d received.

I was at my desk at work this morning when I got a text from the delivery company advising that they would deliver today between 10am-12pm. I won’t name the delivery company but I’ve seen countless negative threads on MN about them over the years.

As soon as I got the text (at 9.30), I clicked on the link in the message which said I could update the delivery preferences (eg safe place etc), and so I recorded that I wanted the delivery to be left with my neighbour next door.

Got home at 6 only to find that they’d been left in plain sight, outside, to the side of my porch. Confused. Soaking wet as it had pissed it down in the afternoon, however I was more annoyed about the fact that they’d a)ignored my instruction to deliver to my neighbour (I spoke to the neighbour shortly afterwards and she said she and DH (both retired) had been home the whole day and no one knocked on her door or rang the doorbell, and b) it was clear from the packaging who the delivery was from and anyone could’ve swiped £150 worth of stuff for the 6-8 hours it was sat there (it’s not a cul de sac or quiet road).

Since getting home, DH has been banging on about how I should tell the retailer that the bag has been stolen because of the fact that their delivery company left it outside, get them to re-issue the items, and then sell the duplicates on Shpock or whatever. I said there was no way I would be doing this as it’s not the retailer’s fault that the delivery company are incompetent, he thinks I am mad and that any normal person would do what he’s suggested Confused. Surely he’s not right, no normal person would immediately think to do that would they!?

He’s stopped going on about it now but it bothers me that he kept saying it!

OP posts:
BohemianDream · 27/08/2019 22:58

I would also immediately think to do this. But then I wouldn't go through with it.
Your DH is probably a bit more normal than you think.

hmga90 · 27/08/2019 22:59

It will be marked as delivered so I doubt they will care. It’s your word against the delivery companies. Even then I wouldn’t bother.

sydney97 · 27/08/2019 22:59

No, a normal person would not do that! I agree it's very annoying that they left it out in plain sight I would definitely complain, but to do what he suggested is disgusting

Letthemysterybe · 27/08/2019 23:01

I don’t think it’s normal to suggest this.

Coffeeisnecessary · 27/08/2019 23:03

I think it's very wrong but I know a few seemingly normal people who have done it!

Hello1231 · 27/08/2019 23:03

Maybe feedback to them, I did when a parcel was left outside in a ridiculous place. They sent a gift voucher (the items didn't need refunding or replacing), and hopefully if enough people complained they would reconsider which company they use.

Milsplus3 · 27/08/2019 23:06

I wouldn’t just because it could come back on you it’s not worth the risk but like your husband it would have crossed my mind. I would report it to the company and the courier company and make a formal complaint against the delivery person though so it’s logged and hopefully doesn’t happen again.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 27/08/2019 23:07

No. I would not think to do it however I have emailed a company before and complained about them using probably the same or the other equally shit courier as yours have without giving the option to have it dropped at a pickup point. My Joe Browns delivery was also left on my door step in full view of the street,marked as left in porch...we barely have an awning never mind a porch! I told them I would not be buying from them again if they could not guarantee safe delivery of their items. There is now the pick up point option on the delivery page.

StoneofDestiny · 27/08/2019 23:09

Not normal to want to commit theft.

Sunflower20 · 27/08/2019 23:09

I bet you it's Hermes, they're fucking useless, why do they even exist!?

defineme · 27/08/2019 23:10

It's theft, no grey area, it's theft. You're not socking it to the big business, you're just potentially getting the 0 hours contract worker the sack when they've not had the information or been too pressured for time to read it. I had shoes nicked out of my back garden, if everyone did what you said then they might not have refunded me. Please do the right thing x

campion · 27/08/2019 23:11

Is your DH usually so casually dishonest?
It wasn't stolen, was it, but he thinks it's OK to lie and cheat the company out of £150?

You know he's wrong and it's up to you to decide if it bothers you.
It'd bother me and I like to think I'm normal.

Sunflower20 · 27/08/2019 23:11

We should all keep complaining to the retailers and boycott companies using hermes until they go bust and disappear for good. I'd pay double the postage to avoid those idiots.

Ifyousayso2019 · 27/08/2019 23:11

@TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup
Yes, same, they put on the card “left IN the porch” Hmm. I also re-clicked the delivery link I got in this morning’s text message and they’ve put the same thing and have uploaded a picture of just my porch, but without the actual parcel featuring anywhere in the picture! I will complain, thanks, to be honest as soon as I got the text this morning and saw it was them, I knew something would go wrong based on what I’ve read on MN!

OP posts:
Sedlescombe · 27/08/2019 23:13

Complain to the retailer not the delivery company and send back anything with even a hint of damage. The only way couriers will improve services is if the people who pay their bills (the retailers) give them a kicking over poor delivery practices. However if you only sent the message about delivery half an hour before he arrived I doubt the driver even saw it.

NoSauce · 27/08/2019 23:13

Just because they fucked up doesn’t mean that it gives you the right to steal from them. What a weird thought process your H has. I don’t understand why anyone would think that. Ring them and give feedback yes, but nothing else.

Ifyousayso2019 · 27/08/2019 23:14

Yes it’s Hermes

@campion he’s not usually his dishonest but then again I can’t recall us being in a similar situation before. It does bother me, which is why I posted. I refused to do it, which he’s accepted but not sure I’ve managed to convince him to change his moral stance on the matter (which is annoying)

OP posts:
DoomsdayCult · 27/08/2019 23:14

God no! That is dishonest.
And it was not the delivery company’s fault. You should have stated your delivery preference when you made the order. When you got that text with the delivery window of 10-12am, that means your package is already with the delivery driver on its way. Clicking the link at 9:30 is not enough notice for them to relay a delivery change to the driver.
You only have cause to complain if they could have accessed your porch to put the package there.

Ifyousayso2019 · 27/08/2019 23:17

@Sedlescombe true, but they’d only sent it to me at 9.30, half an hour before potentially dropping it off, I’d responded straight away. If they’d given me a few hours notice, I could’ve arranged to have worked from home today as I don’t like inconveniencing my neighbours for deliveries out of choice

OP posts:
Derbee · 27/08/2019 23:18

I’d complain to both companies. But I’d never steal from the retailer by pretending they’d been taken. That’s shitty behaviour

Ifyousayso2019 · 27/08/2019 23:21

@DoomsdayCult they don’t give you the option to select your preferences when you place the order, they don’t even advise who the delivery company is! As stated in my OP, all they said was that it could arrive any time in the 7 days - the next communication I received was from the courier half an hour before the earliest potential delivery time

OP posts:
Elieza · 27/08/2019 23:21

Complain but don’t steal the goods. What goes around comes around, as they say.
Be good and attract good. Be bad and attract trouble.....nope.

MummytoCSJH · 27/08/2019 23:23

Doomsday - of course it's their fault, it's still unreasonable for them to literally put it in front of the house where anybody could see or take it. If they decide it's not safe enough to leave it they can leave a card with their number and OP can arrange re-delivery. Hermes are shocking.. they've put things in my recycling bin before as it was at the front of my house (presumably thinking it was easier/closer for them)... it was out because it was bin day! I wouldn't lie and say you didn't get it OP but you should complain as it could have easily been stolen or as in my case taken away by the bin men Hmm

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 27/08/2019 23:24

Well I’d feel like it but wouldn’t

If it’s the delivery people I’m thinking of them they must know they are shite, why are they still using them .

MintGreen · 27/08/2019 23:25

Stealing from the retailer is completely wrong and I'd be shocked if my DH suggested it.
Complaining strongly about Hermes is definitely the right thing to do - I can't believe retailers still use them! I ordered a balance bike for my son's birthday which I watched them throw over my six foot garden fence, when I came out of the house to challenge why they hadn't knocked on the door they said there was no car on the drive so how were they meant to know I was in?!