Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to my DH’s request to commit theft?

121 replies

Ifyousayso2019 · 27/08/2019 22:55

Name changed

I ordered about £150 worth of clothes from a well known online fashion retailer on Friday (23rd).

When I placed the order, they said that my clothes would arrive anytime on or before this Friday (30th) - that’s the only communication I’d received.

I was at my desk at work this morning when I got a text from the delivery company advising that they would deliver today between 10am-12pm. I won’t name the delivery company but I’ve seen countless negative threads on MN about them over the years.

As soon as I got the text (at 9.30), I clicked on the link in the message which said I could update the delivery preferences (eg safe place etc), and so I recorded that I wanted the delivery to be left with my neighbour next door.

Got home at 6 only to find that they’d been left in plain sight, outside, to the side of my porch. Confused. Soaking wet as it had pissed it down in the afternoon, however I was more annoyed about the fact that they’d a)ignored my instruction to deliver to my neighbour (I spoke to the neighbour shortly afterwards and she said she and DH (both retired) had been home the whole day and no one knocked on her door or rang the doorbell, and b) it was clear from the packaging who the delivery was from and anyone could’ve swiped £150 worth of stuff for the 6-8 hours it was sat there (it’s not a cul de sac or quiet road).

Since getting home, DH has been banging on about how I should tell the retailer that the bag has been stolen because of the fact that their delivery company left it outside, get them to re-issue the items, and then sell the duplicates on Shpock or whatever. I said there was no way I would be doing this as it’s not the retailer’s fault that the delivery company are incompetent, he thinks I am mad and that any normal person would do what he’s suggested Confused. Surely he’s not right, no normal person would immediately think to do that would they!?

He’s stopped going on about it now but it bothers me that he kept saying it!

OP posts:
Sedlescombe · 28/08/2019 09:06

Ifyousayso2019 Sorry, should have expended on the comment. I entirely get the point that you only just received it. In effect the system doesnt work for the early calls of the day. Then its just left to the drivers discretion as to where to leave it or take it away. The drivers often have very little time allocated. I once had a delivery left outside my house when I was standing at the window inside. They just want to leave it and go

PookieDo · 28/08/2019 09:12

At my cousins wedding this type of thing was mentioned in the speeches I was Confused
They actually do this all the time, so much so that I think they got banned from one company
They also threw bleach or paint down the stairs when they wanted a new carpet on the house insurance

I only ever did this once accidentally - had an amazon delivery message to say my parcel (worth about £5) had been delivered. I was home it hadn’t! I reported it as not arriving and they sent another one to me, both arrived at once and I didn’t send the other one back Blush

Beautiful3 · 28/08/2019 09:19

I understand your annoyance, but no don't do it.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 28/08/2019 09:28

Please don't encourage this behaviour because it's not the fact cat business that suffers, its the delivery driver.

TBH it's because I suspected this that I've never made a false claim of stuff going missing.

I don't want some poor bugger losing their job so I can get a free egg whisk.

Many, many years ago we had a parcel that genuinely wasn't delivered, and I reported the non-arrival to the vendor. A couple of days later we had a sobbing postwoman on our doorstep begging us to "admit" that we had received it - we hadn't, so I couldn't.

I was so upset I was in two minds whether to get in touch and say "Oh - sorry! The'y left it behind the bin and I didn't see it." It was only a pyrex bowl, so it wasn't a massive financial loss to me.

However DH, who is the sort of person to chase after a bus if he has failed to pay for his ticket, refused to fib about it. He pointed out that if such a hard line had been taken with the postwoman, then other stuff must have gone missing - they wouldn't be threatening her job on the basis of a £5 bowl.

I still think about it though, and wonder what happened to her, and what her family/ financial circumstances were. I've even wondered if she did leave it behind a plant pot, and some opportunistic thief saw the parcel and helped themselves.

I certainly wouldn't ever claim not to have received something I'd got, though as I've said, I've had annoyed thoughts about it.

Pharlapwasthebest · 28/08/2019 09:30

Tell them what happened.

brighteyeowl17 · 28/08/2019 09:34

If it’s a known rubbish delivery company they will prob just refund. I actually had stuff stolen as they plonked it on our open doorstep and sent a photo. When I got home it had gone. The sender company didn’t even say anything they just refunded it.

MongerTruffle · 28/08/2019 09:46

it’s not the retailer’s fault that the delivery company are incompetent

The retailer is responsible for the goods until they physically reach you.

Butterymuffin · 28/08/2019 09:50

it’s not the retailer’s fault that the delivery company are incompetent

It's their choice to keep using them! Of course it's their fault.

LolaSmiles · 28/08/2019 09:53

It's their choice to keep using them! Of course it's their fault.
Exactly! They could choose to use a better provider. If they want to have contracts with poor companies then it affects their reputation as a company.

Original poster
Ifyousayso2019 · 28/08/2019 09:58

@HeadintheiClouds please can you remove your head from the iCloud and let me know where in my OP or any of my updates it says I was considering it?

@BritWifeinUSA I’d be surprised to find a drug addict willing to spend £150 on clothes in the first place when he/she could just, you know, spend the £150 on drugs

OP posts:
Ndotto · 28/08/2019 10:04

Agree with Hello - I wouldn't defraud the retailer but I would send them feedback and suggest they use a better carrier in future. I've had problems with Hermes before, more than once, they are useless in my opinion.

Original poster
Ifyousayso2019 · 28/08/2019 10:04

I’ve emailed the retailer this morning - not to complain - but to give feedback. That’s the most I was ever going to do - my OP merely asked if my DH was as common as he’d insisted. Thanks for all the comments. I have told DH that he is in LTB territory with the MN masses in the hope he will be shamed into reconfiguring his moral compass.

OP posts:
LochJessMonster · 28/08/2019 10:09

Wouldn't even occur to me to do that.
Definitely complain, but to lie and basically steal the clothes is awful.

Myriade · 28/08/2019 10:12

I would sent the whole lt back to the retailer complaining that the goods were damaged.
Then I would ask for a replacement as well as very clear instructions on where to leave the parcel.

Fwiw i suspect that what happened is that the driver had already left for his round so never saw the modification mesage you sent. Their problem though.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 28/08/2019 10:14

I would question the integrity of my OH if they seriously wanted me to do this, I’m no prude and love a bargain / free gift etc but this is too much effort considering you Actually received your goods, it’s a shit job being a Delivery driver, think of the Agro you would put this man under

Nofunkingworriesmate · 28/08/2019 10:20

You would only get 50 quid really selling second hand clothes ( not to mention risk of putting evidence of your crime on a website - DOH!)
Is it worth selling your soul and risk getting criminal record for 50 odd quid??

Mrsjayy · 28/08/2019 10:21

Dh would get ranty and spout nonsense like that but in reality wouldn't do it. anyway this happened to my Daughter she told the shop the truth about the delivery company and got a full refund I think she complai ed on twitter too.

Original poster
Ifyousayso2019 · 28/08/2019 10:24

@Nofunkingworriesmate I categorically said in my OP that I wouldn’t even entertain this, so the “posting my crime on a website” thing is not really going to be an issue here

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 28/08/2019 10:42

Greed, and dishonesty are such unattractive qualities in a partner, imo.

Abraid2 · 28/08/2019 10:49

When this has happened to me in the past I have not done this. It's dishonest and although I am not particularly superstitious, I do think think that what goes around comes around. People who are dishonest do often seem to be the ones complaining that other people are fleecing them. Perhaps they just judge everyone else by their own standards.

Elphame · 28/08/2019 10:53

@SardineJam - It's the outright lying that I object to. He completed the paperwork to say that he'd handed it to me. Had it been stolen it would have been his word against mine. It's far from the only time and Amazon hardly ever ask me to sign for anything.

Books were apparently handed to me again last week. I was actually in all day but found them late afternoon covered in mud where they'd been thrown over the fence into my compost heap.

Oh and the bizarre time something was apparently left with a neighbour - we have few neighbours and none of the name given at an address that didn't exist. The item actually turned up in the recycyling box.

I have now decided I will buy no more from Amazon.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 28/08/2019 10:57

I would email the clothing retailer and tell them what happened and that you will no longer be purchasing from them until you receive confirmation from them that they no longer use that courier. And that you will also be telling all your F&F too.

Weymo · 28/08/2019 11:07

It’s theft.

You’d have to tell your neighbour you’re stealing it too, because if Hermes write a letter to your neighbour and neighbour admits you told them you’d received the parcel, you’d be done for fraud.

Newkitchen123 · 28/08/2019 11:13

I had stuff delivered by these. They sent me two emails one saying left with neighbour, one saying left at house. They took a pic of my house as so called proof. It was just a pic of my house. No parcel. Parcel was behind bin. Not with neighbours

Gottobefree · 28/08/2019 11:17

Totally normal thing to do. Not the best on morals but yes something everyone has either done or done something similar ! Don't be annoyed with the DH

Swipe left for the next trending thread