Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to my DH’s request to commit theft?

121 replies

Ifyousayso2019 · 27/08/2019 22:55

Name changed

I ordered about £150 worth of clothes from a well known online fashion retailer on Friday (23rd).

When I placed the order, they said that my clothes would arrive anytime on or before this Friday (30th) - that’s the only communication I’d received.

I was at my desk at work this morning when I got a text from the delivery company advising that they would deliver today between 10am-12pm. I won’t name the delivery company but I’ve seen countless negative threads on MN about them over the years.

As soon as I got the text (at 9.30), I clicked on the link in the message which said I could update the delivery preferences (eg safe place etc), and so I recorded that I wanted the delivery to be left with my neighbour next door.

Got home at 6 only to find that they’d been left in plain sight, outside, to the side of my porch. Confused. Soaking wet as it had pissed it down in the afternoon, however I was more annoyed about the fact that they’d a)ignored my instruction to deliver to my neighbour (I spoke to the neighbour shortly afterwards and she said she and DH (both retired) had been home the whole day and no one knocked on her door or rang the doorbell, and b) it was clear from the packaging who the delivery was from and anyone could’ve swiped £150 worth of stuff for the 6-8 hours it was sat there (it’s not a cul de sac or quiet road).

Since getting home, DH has been banging on about how I should tell the retailer that the bag has been stolen because of the fact that their delivery company left it outside, get them to re-issue the items, and then sell the duplicates on Shpock or whatever. I said there was no way I would be doing this as it’s not the retailer’s fault that the delivery company are incompetent, he thinks I am mad and that any normal person would do what he’s suggested Confused. Surely he’s not right, no normal person would immediately think to do that would they!?

He’s stopped going on about it now but it bothers me that he kept saying it!

OP posts:
jesuschristwtf · 28/08/2019 00:25

Err?! Wtf. Being a thief is not normal, what a great bf with a strong moral compass you have. Confused

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 28/08/2019 00:26

I suspect your not as adverse to this as you are making out, you just want mumsnet it’s ok to steal. Go ahead. Your karma.

Original poster
Ifyousayso2019 · 28/08/2019 00:30

@thatssomebadhatharry

Yes, you’re right. I always seek validation from a bunch of strangers before committing a crime

OP posts:
gluteustothemaximus · 28/08/2019 00:31

Yes, hermes are bad. But look at this review of working for them and you see why.

"Well if you like spending working all day, walking the streets, ruining your car or van, no holidays, management speaking to you like something they have walked in, for peanuts this is the job for you.
Getting screwed over for 50p a parcel and most of the time you are carrying parcels over to the next day, you don't get paid for."

I know it shouldn't have been left, but they are cheap, companies will use them, and this will happen.

Original poster
Ifyousayso2019 · 28/08/2019 00:33

@JazzyGG No damage. Bag was waterproof so clothes were still dry. I will give feedback to them about the courier, think that will be sufficient

OP posts:
Yeahsurewhatever · 28/08/2019 00:33

@DoomsdayCult except they didnt steal anything. He just said it in frustration and now op is worried about his dishonesty
And people are saying it's just not normal.

Let's remember. Nothing actually happened.

Nat6999 · 28/08/2019 00:35

I refuse to use Hermes home delivery ever since the day an agent tried to deliver my parcel at 5.45am, hammering on my door as though it was the police. I told the agent to not deliver at this time again & got sworn at. If I order anything now, I have it delivered to the Doddle desk at my local supermarket. I wish you could see which agent will be doing a delivery before you buy anything online, Hermes are the worst of the worst.

Elphame · 28/08/2019 00:35

Amazon drivers do this continually to me. Last time my package containing a £150 item was handed to me. No mean feat given I was 100 miles away at the time and the house was empty. In actual fact it was just left on the doorstep.

AtSea1979 · 28/08/2019 00:36

No it’s not normal. It certainly wouldn’t be my reaction. Then again it wouldn’t bother me if my parcel was left out, I’d be glad I had it and didn’t need to chase it up.

I think I would also be wondering what else DH casually lied about but to me.

2ofstedsin24weeksistakingthep · 28/08/2019 00:53

Make a complaint but don’t lie as I believe what goes around, comes around, you might even be rewarded.

Last year I ordered a bikini online and it arrived with an unordered tanking top, which wasn’t on the invoice. I returned this to store, explained what had happened, and due to their system, the cashier had to refund the returned item onto my account, despite not having paid for it in the first place.

A few days later the shorts I had ordered with the bikini were delivered, followed by another pair the next day. I returned these to store, explained they were a duplicated pair, and again had the shorts credited to my account. I ended up just over £50 better off for being honest.

soapona · 28/08/2019 01:04

And a neighbour with CCTV that you don't know about? Or a dash cam on a car? You know that's a crime that requires a reference number. Not worth it

confusedat30 · 28/08/2019 01:13

I would

HeadintheiClouds · 28/08/2019 01:52

Why would it even occur to you to do this? It might have been stolen, but it wasn’t. Except now you’re planning to steal it yourself? Hmm

Jupiters · 28/08/2019 02:05

It's theft, no grey area, it's theft. You're not socking it to the big business, you're just potentially getting the 0 hours contract worker the sack when they've not had the information or been too pressured for time to read it.
I agree with this. It will be someone on a 0 hour contact that you'll be hurting, not the company itself.

BritWifeinUSA · 28/08/2019 02:20

Is he/are you that desperate for 150 quid that you’d consider criminal activity to get it? Sounds like something a drug addict would do. Why would you sink so low?

Bravelurker · 28/08/2019 02:34

Tbh, if more people did this then it would send a clear message to the retailer to use a better courier company.

SardineJam · 28/08/2019 07:31

@Elphame you need to check your delivery preferences because with Amazon if you aren't at home then the default delivery option is 'any safe place' which includes a doorstep...
Also, high value items require signing for...

captainpantbeard · 28/08/2019 07:52

They don’t really care. had a Yodel parcel left by my door - in full view of the street - the note said ‘left in a safe place’. They could literally have just put it behind the bin next to the door and it would have been hidden.

I fed back to the company and they just said ‘we are sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you’.

lovemenorca · 28/08/2019 07:55

Yuck

Being married to someone like this. Yuck.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 28/08/2019 08:24

That would make me feel differently about DH, it’s not ok to steal in any situation.

LiveInAHidingPlace · 28/08/2019 08:27

I think that's really dodgy behaviour, not least because they could end up refusing you a refund unless you show a police report.

I mean, I don't really care about ripping off companies that much or anything, because they don't care about ripping off their customers, but it's usually the people at the bottom who suffer, not the ones who are taking our money.

Mummadeeze · 28/08/2019 08:30

My parcel was left in the bush and could easily have been stolen last week. It annoyed me but it never entered my head to pretend it was stolen. V weird suggestion and completely immoral.

LolaSmiles · 28/08/2019 08:38

Complain to the retailer and delivery company. You'll probably have more luck with the retailer though.

I had a box marked fragile and this way up thrown over our fence into the (locked) back garden once.
I rang the delivery company to complain and they were totally useless because their delivery driver had said it was left in a safe place Angry. The delivery company wouldn't have any complaints from me on damage to the items because their driver said it was safe and told me to take it up with the retailer as they only really deal with retailers over complaints.
I don't care if the driver was a zero hours worker or not. You have to be a certain type of inconsiderate, lazy or incompetent person to see a box marked fragile with instructions for handling and throw it over a 6ft fence not knowing what's on the other side.

Lindormilk · 28/08/2019 08:52

Yodel fucked up a delivery for me yrs ago. I ordered £60 worth of clothes and the “left it with a neighbour” even though im very rural, no direct neighbours and all deliveries i get (which is not often) are left in my log shed.

I walked through fields to my “neighbours”and to no avail. So called the company and they sent another parcel. That arrived. The following week I went for a walk with my friend and along a track half a mile away I found my parcel. I was not on the route to my house, no one passes my house. I kept both parcels and sold the clothes for a profit.

Id keep them.

sweetsaltypopcorn · 28/08/2019 08:55

Is he/are you that desperate for 150 quid that you’d consider criminal activity to get it? Sounds like something a drug addict would do.

Hmm

Oh, to be so well off that £150 is considered nothing!

Not sure how many posters on here live in the real world.