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Original poster

To say no to my DH’s request to commit theft?

121 replies

Ifyousayso2019 · 27/08/2019 22:55

Name changed

I ordered about £150 worth of clothes from a well known online fashion retailer on Friday (23rd).

When I placed the order, they said that my clothes would arrive anytime on or before this Friday (30th) - that’s the only communication I’d received.

I was at my desk at work this morning when I got a text from the delivery company advising that they would deliver today between 10am-12pm. I won’t name the delivery company but I’ve seen countless negative threads on MN about them over the years.

As soon as I got the text (at 9.30), I clicked on the link in the message which said I could update the delivery preferences (eg safe place etc), and so I recorded that I wanted the delivery to be left with my neighbour next door.

Got home at 6 only to find that they’d been left in plain sight, outside, to the side of my porch. Confused. Soaking wet as it had pissed it down in the afternoon, however I was more annoyed about the fact that they’d a)ignored my instruction to deliver to my neighbour (I spoke to the neighbour shortly afterwards and she said she and DH (both retired) had been home the whole day and no one knocked on her door or rang the doorbell, and b) it was clear from the packaging who the delivery was from and anyone could’ve swiped £150 worth of stuff for the 6-8 hours it was sat there (it’s not a cul de sac or quiet road).

Since getting home, DH has been banging on about how I should tell the retailer that the bag has been stolen because of the fact that their delivery company left it outside, get them to re-issue the items, and then sell the duplicates on Shpock or whatever. I said there was no way I would be doing this as it’s not the retailer’s fault that the delivery company are incompetent, he thinks I am mad and that any normal person would do what he’s suggested Confused. Surely he’s not right, no normal person would immediately think to do that would they!?

He’s stopped going on about it now but it bothers me that he kept saying it!

OP posts:
BackforGood · 27/08/2019 23:26

if you only sent the message about delivery half an hour before he arrived I doubt the driver even saw it.

Quite probably not, but that doesn't mean any delivery driver should abandon a parcel in full view of passing public.

Yes, if there had been an option when ordering OP could have asked them to deliver to neighbours, but there isn't always. If the company don't offer that option up front then they have to be a little more security conscious when the people aren't at the address they are delivering to.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/08/2019 23:26

I would also immediately think to do this. But then I wouldn't go through with it.
Your DH is probably a bit more normal than you think.

I've actually thought along these lines - "If they leave my stuff in clergies view just once more, I'm going to claim I didn't get it."

But I've never done it. Doubt I ever would - it's just venting.

Italiangreyhound · 27/08/2019 23:29

I can't imagine wanting to steal clothes from a company and sell them on just because the chance to do so was presented to me.

Deianira · 27/08/2019 23:31

Making a complaint or withdrawing your business is a totally normal response to receiving crap service. Committing a crime because you received crap service is really not the same thing, and I'd be really unimpressed if my DH thought it was.

DoomsdayCult · 27/08/2019 23:32

OP
“DoomsdayCult they don’t give you the option to select your preferences when you place the order, they don’t even advise who the delivery company is!”

Then, in that case, the fault for not leaving it with your neighbour is by the retail company you ordered from, not the delivery company. Setting an alternate delivery place a half hour before the delivery window is too late to get to the delivery driver.

As I said before, if the delivery company could access your porch (some are glassed in itch locking doors), then I do agree you have a valid complaint with delivery company for leaving package so exposed.

NannaNoodleman · 27/08/2019 23:35

Oh, I was going to say Hermes... got to the thread too late!

TrashPanda · 27/08/2019 23:38

Aren't all multi-drop delivery drivers now using those all in one gps/phone/scanner things? I can't remember the last delivery that didn't have one. Surely the delivery info comes up for each delivery once the previous one is done, so if it's online/electronic it will have had plenty of time to update from when op did it to when the parcel was delivered. It's not a pile of paper delivery notes with those perforated edges that they are given when they load the van.

mysteryfairy · 27/08/2019 23:40

I'm curious to understand the assertion that messages are not delivered in real time too. I often give delivery instructions a few minutes before the start of the window and have them acted on.

Thornhill58 · 27/08/2019 23:42

You can do it but you know it's wrong. It's theft and I'll be ashamed. I try to do the right thing for my own peace of mind.

TimeForNewStart · 27/08/2019 23:43

Not normal no.

LittleDoritt · 27/08/2019 23:44

I don't understand why people are telling you that it was too late to relay your preference to the driver. If it's was too late why was that an option for you to fill in??! Obviously their system didn't consider it to be too late - so the driver should have checked his delivery info more thoroughly.

PapaShango · 27/08/2019 23:47

You should definitely complain, but don’t lie and steal from them. That’s shitty. A lot of the drivers where I live take pictures if they’ve left stuff outdoors. I often see them snapping a pic before they leave.

Speakercube · 27/08/2019 23:53

One dpd driver had a a signed for package for my dh- I opened the door and he waved as he got in the van pointed to the parcel on the floor(not behind anything and in full view) It cost £300. I rang the company it came from (just to inform them esp as its run by one man) they then rang dpd who sent him a copy of a signature with a man's first name only! (my dhs) The courier had signed it himself. What a cf!

Butterymuffin · 27/08/2019 23:53

No, but do complain on social media to them and the company you bought from.

SardineJam · 27/08/2019 23:55

Please don't encourage this behaviour because it's not the fact cat business that suffers, its the delivery driver. DH works for Amazon and the amount of people who claim to not have received their parcels when there is proof they have been delivered is astounding. But the customer is 'always right' and the driver (because they are self employed with no employment rights) can literally get sacked on the spot.

Idontwanttotalk · 27/08/2019 23:58

Normal decent people do not thieve/defraud companies. Only dishonest people do this. I would not want to be married to someone who kept on at me to thieve.

Honest is always the best policy. In March my DH ordered a Samsung tablet case with built-in keyboard for £95 from Amazon. He was notified that it had been delivered but, when a couple of days later it still hadn't been delivered, he phoned Amazon who refunded it.
The next day our NDN came round with the parcel which she'd had for a couple of days. DH then contacted Amazon and explained what had happened and tried to pay for it. They were having none of it. The goods were free and they thanked him for his honesty and for his willingness to pay. How great is that - £95 goods free just because he was honest.

TriciaH87 · 28/08/2019 00:04

I'm guessing it was Yodel. I order my sons Christmas presents from Smyths toys last year. They told me a day for delivery I said to put it in garden if no neighbours in. We lived on a main road do constant traffic and people on school run as school about 2 minutes away. It was a massive box and placed in front of the door. When I got back I was just in time as some cf was picking the box up it turned out to be a new neighbour and they had put a note in my door. My dp contacted the delivery company said it was missing. The driver came out following day and told me he put it in front of the door. So I told him he can see how busy the road is does he think it was safe. He told me that he would personally be charged for the item being missing so I said I had already told them a neighbour had picked it up off the door step and took it in for me but maybe he would think twice in future especially at Christmas.

JazzyGG · 28/08/2019 00:06

Just be honest and point out any damage if it's someone like M&S they'll refund and replace.

RosesAndRaindrops · 28/08/2019 00:07

I couldn't do that. I'm with you on this one.

Yeahsurewhatever · 28/08/2019 00:09

Well actually @Idontwanttotalk it wasn't because he was honest. If he hadn't been honest he still would have the refund and the goods?

Doesn't that story also show how little value £95 is to a company like Amazon..
I'm not saying dishonesty would be right
But committing a disgusting theft - to quote people here, seems a bit pearl clutchy.

The dh just talked about an opportunity, he didn't do it. He obviously saw it as a victimless crime. Surprised youre so judgey at your own dh and his dishonesty from just this very vanilla incident. Is there more to this?

SardineJam · 28/08/2019 00:09

@Idontwanttotalk though the driver will still have got a black mark against his name, its very rare that they allow a report of a 'non delivery' to be subsequently overturned

DoomsdayCult · 28/08/2019 00:10

@Trashpanda
Not all courier companies have real time updates/push notifications on their handhelds. I know Yodel does and perhaps DPD.
But Hermes still relies on SMS texts and emails which a driver will not always have time to peruse & scroll through between deliveries.

DoomsdayCult · 28/08/2019 00:15

@Yeahsurewhatever
So you think stealing £150 worth of goods is pearl clutchy and judgey?

If we were talking about a homeless family robbing an Aldi to feed themselves, yes I’m with you.

But stealing a package of nonessential clothes so you can resell it online while claiming free replacements? Yes that is a disgusting theft.

Do not confuse generosity by a retailer towards an honest person with thinking that the items have no value.

PastelPotential · 28/08/2019 00:21

Even if I was so inclined, I really couldn't be arsed. Sell it on schlock, or ebay after all pissing around listing and taking to the post office you may make £30 profit, if that. It just seems so sad and skanky.

DoomsdayCult · 28/08/2019 00:22

Theft
“fined and/ or jailed for up to six months if the goods are worth less than £200; or for a maximum of seven years if they are worth more than £200”