AIBU to wash and dry my hair?

[Hornet7067]

I generally wash and blow dry my hair every other day and even though I try and time it so it doesn’t affect DH, it not always possible and he always moans because of the time it takes, it probably adds half hour on to my normal getting ready time.

Since I’ve gone back to work after we had a child I’ve given up getting lash extensions done every two weeks because DH kept moaning about the time. My eyebrows were due to be done 4 weeks ago and I haven’t gone to get them done because again DH moans about the time. (I’m very blonde so having my brows tinted actually makes me feel so much better about myself). But blow drying my hair is something I’m not willing to give up, does this make me unreasonable?

In what way does it affect him?

Why is he moaning about the time? What would he rather have you doing instead?

Is his time occupied by useful activities?

What exactly has he given up doing for himself or is it just you making the sacrifices? Don't give up on anything that makes you feel good about yourself

It's got nothing to do with him. How happy would he be if you had your hair cut off to a (traditionally) man's style so you don't have to bother with the messing like him. My guess is he wouldn't like it at all.

My DH asked me not to wash my hair the other week and I said fine, if he would refrain from his daily 20 minute shit.

How exactly does it affect him? And does he do nothing at all for himself, ever?
I’d go back to your full beauty regime and add in something extra every time he complains.

Seriously? This sounds completely unreasonable OF HIM. Washing and drying your hair is a completely normal part of a self-care/hygiene routine. I know some people only wash their hair once or twice a week which is fine IF IT IS THEIR CHOICE. I have to wash and dry my hair every day or I just feel disgusting.

I think when you have a child you DO have to make some sacrifices and personally I think having lash extensions every two weeks is quite a lot, but even that is questionable and just MY opinion. But I don’t think anyone here will tell you you’re unreasonable for wanting to wash your hair!!!

I'm not sure what he minds at all, what difference does it make to him?
Doesn't he understand that you make time to do these things because they are important to you?
Does he 'waste' time shaving or trimming his beard, gelling his hair? If so I'd be asking him to justify that too.

It's not up to him how you spend your time!

Sounds awful.

Does he not wash himself? Or shave? Or have his hair cut? Or take 45 minute to poo?

I’m assuming the issue is he is solely responsible for childcare whilst you do these ‘grooming’ tasks.

Does he have half an hour every other day to do whatever he wants by himself?
Re lashes/eyebrows - does he have the equivalent time & money to do whatever he wants with as well?

If so, YANBU. If not then YABU.

Your DH needs to shut the hell up about 'the time'. It's your appearance and you can spend as much as you like on it - plus, eyelash extensions and brow tints are something you get done every few weeks and barely take any time at all. Your DH is being incredibly unreasonable. None of this stuff is any of his business. You can spend your time however you like.

Why would you foresake hygiene and grooming because your husband feels inconvenienced?

I swear to god, MN is like the 1850s sometimes.

Who the hell thinks you are being unreasonable?!

I wash my hair and then the second I’m in my dressing gown I have a baby placed in my arms. I’ve started handing her back and telling DH that I need to dry it too.

He on the other hand can have leisurely shaves, showers etc. as long as he likes!!

I'm assuming that he complains because it means he is left to do solo parenting? Does he end up doing more than you, and has he had to compromise on some hobbies /personal time? *

You need to establish the principle of equal, child free leisure time, to each spend however you choose.

*I'm trying really hard not to assume he is a lazy man child who objects to ever being in charge of his own child...

I think it depends how it affects him and what the circumstances are

Why should he care if you want to wash and dry your hair? It isn't taking up his time it is taking up yours.

It’s usually so we can go out together as a family. Saturday we went to the seaside for the day and he moaned that me and DD weren’t ready when he came down from his shower because I’d been drying my hair.

Today I was taking DD out to something and he moaned that he had to help get DD ready because I’d washed my hair. (I think this moan was because I went to bed early with a headache last night and apparently didn’t show any appreciation today, I said thank you last night but that wasn’t enough apparently)

OP are you reading this back?
This isn't normal behaviour for a partner.
Either there is more information that you've missed out about how long things take you or he is being a controlling prick.

And how did the eyelashes and eyebrows affect him?

Sounds like an arse at first reading. Him not you.

What?! Honestly OP he sounds like a right idiot.

What would he rather you be doing? Hes being ridiculous of course you would dry your hair after washing it. Go back to getting your treatments done. Does he have time to do things like washing and shaving? More than likely yes.

So next time get yourself ready, leave him in sole charge of dd while he is trying to get ready including getting her sorted with bags packed etc and moan at him when they aren't ready.

He sounds shit and controlling.

Most men wouldn’t really care about their partner having their lashes/eyebrows done. Let alone start whinging and guilt tripping you into not doing these things anymore.

h
he moaned that he had to help get DD ready because I’d washed my hair

Wow. Father of the year, ladies and gents.

Imagine the heroism of a man helping to get his own daughter ready. He sounds like a Prince.