"he moaned that me and DD weren’t ready when he came down from his shower because I’d been drying my hair." Wow! So is he clearly assuming YOU are solely responsible for getting dd ready?! Why can't he get her ready or at least do some of what's needed to get her ready eg making sure the changing bag has everything needed?
"I went to bed early with a headache last night and apparently didn’t show any appreciation today, I said thank you last night but that wasn’t enough apparently" and he wants a Fucking medal AND a parade for doing basic parenting when you're ILL?!
"Honestly, the men I read about on here sound like such a bunch of pricks." Yep! Mn is GREAT for making me glad to be single!!
"That’s not praise worthy or medal winning husbanding or parenting, that’s normal." Hear hear!
"he moans that I’m palming DD off on other people (my mum or sister)." Jesus! How many FULL DAYS every week does he care for dd? (I know the answer is more than likely zero!)
"He is great with DD, he definitely does his fair share" really?! Doesn't bloody sound it - what are you both counting as his "fair share"?
Actually if op gives in to this bullshit what I can see happening is she focuses more and more on baby, less on her appearance and next thing he's having an affair and blaming her "you let yourself go and became all about the baby" I've seen this happen in real life.
My ex is and could be a shit in many ways but he absolutely was never this bad! When dd was a baby he'd get in from work, take care of dd while I had a bubble bath, washed and dried hair, shaved/exfoliated/moisturised as I wished, he'd make the dinner talking away to dd (telling her what he was doing in a silly/sing song voice which was hilarious to listen to), put pans etc to soak, stick a laundry load on, play with dd, tell her about his day etc. I'd come into the living room to a happy dd and hot dinner ready to eat. Then he'd bath dd while I did the dishes, had a tidy round etc.
At one point not long after she was born I irrationally decided I hated my hair as I'd pretty much always had it and had a full afternoon at the hairdressers having it cut quite short (for me - not by many peoples definitions but I've always had it about waist length and I got it into my head just a bit shorter than shoulder length would be "easier" with a new baby) and dyed brunette (I'm naturally a redhead but have always dyed it blonde). Not only did he happily take care of dd that afternoon but was supportive of the image change even when I came home and promptly burst into tears of Heartbroken regret at my stupidity (I HATED it and could do sod all about it for weeks! Thank fuck it was winter and I could wear hats outside the house!) and reassured me that it wasn't awful (it really was!) and looked good (it really didn't!) and eventually buoyed me up enough to get me through the few weeks until I could go back to my preferred blonde and find ways to get it to "sit right" so I didn't completely hate the length until it grew out - I blame the hormones for such a disastrous decision, even the poor hairdresser asked me umpteen times if I was sure and I promised her I was (I was an idiot! - NEVER make major changes like that weeks after giving birth!)
BlueEyedEagle - and when is op supposed to have HER time? Not all time outside of work needs to be or should be "family time"
An hour is perfectly reasonable for shower, shave, hair wash, dry hair. Wtf! Does he NEVER get an hour to himself? I very much doubt it! I'm yet to come across a man this is true for! - and that even includes the men I know that are/have been single parents!