Page 18 | Self ID women being asked to volunteer in Devon Rape Crisis Centre *Triggering - rape*

Theendofmyrope · 2019-08-26T19:34:32+00:00

AIBU to think this is just fucking insane? Is this how it is going to be from now on? As the parent of a rape victim I feel beyond angry. Is no place safe for women now?

FFSFFSFFS · 27/08/2019 20:37

why on earth did Wurzelsnewhead get deleted??

Didn't the post just propose a new category for women who are angry???

Detroitinnineteensixtyeight · 27/08/2019 20:42

Women are not allowed to ask for sensitivity, call out gaslighting or gloating.

We aren't allowed to have opinions.

Got it. We have to be sensitive and accommodate men's sexual kinks agp and tantrums, but we are not allowed ANYTHING at all

ShortCircuit181 · 27/08/2019 20:43

The number of women convicted of domestic violence has tripled in the past decade and is currently at an all time high , so I can definitely see the sense in catering for those victims who may be triggered by discussing it with a female.

Original poster

Theendofmyrope · 27/08/2019 20:45

The number of women convicted of domestic violence has tripled in the past decade

What has that got to do with allowing men to volunteer in a rape crisis centre?

OP posts:

FFSFFSFFS · 27/08/2019 20:47

For the love of god - we're talking about support for women who have been raped by men.

Detroitinnineteensixtyeight · 27/08/2019 20:50

The rates of dv committed by women are increased because men are id ing as women and being included in our stats.

Gaslighting

Butchyrestingface · 27/08/2019 20:50

The number of women convicted of domestic violence has tripled in the past decade and is currently at an all time high , so I can definitely see the sense in catering for those victims who may be triggered by discussing it with a female.

Great. Provide a fully separate service for them then. 👍

Detroitinnineteensixtyeight · 27/08/2019 20:51

I'd take that, Butchy!

StockTakeFucks · 27/08/2019 20:57

The number of women convicted of domestic violence has tripled in the past decade and is currently at an all time high , so I can definitely see the sense in catering for those victims who may be triggered by discussing it with a female.

That's because transwomen are women.

What does that have to do with Rape Crisis?

They're more than welcome to fight,protest,advocate,fund raise and build their own charities and places for support. Women did.

Fraggling · 27/08/2019 20:57

I think it's the same as lots of stuff

Women have nothing that works for them / or works badly

Women pull out all the stops to get something

It works

Then we have to open it to all

Women's prisons are 'nicer' (for good reason eg no men!)
Women's sports get more attention and sponsorship
Womens issues get some time and money

Where are the men in this? Where are the men calling for more recognition and attention to male children who are victims of grooming etc, which tends to take a bit of a different form to girls. Where are the men standing up for gay and gnc men who are subjected to assault by men? Where is it?

It's not there. Men (society) wash their hands say, rape is a women's issue, dv is women's issue. Women should sort it out.

No. Rape and dv are Overwhelmingly men's issues. They are the perpetrators.

Men wash their hands and push it onto women. You know about this you sort it.

No. Men hold the purse strings and have cut rape centres to the bone. And now they need to be everything to everyone? No.

Why do women have to cover all this? These are societal issues.

I am sick of it.

myrtleWilson · 27/08/2019 21:01

According to twitter the Centre has said they acknowledge comments but feel that twitter isn't the right place for discourse and so encourage people with questions to phone (non helpline number) and speak to a team manager - as yet can't see anyone has been able to speak to said manager.

I can see that they feel at the midst of a twitter storm and are battening down the hatches. But if, as some posters on here say, they are recruiting self id'ing women to support TW who have been sexually assaulted then I would have thought it would have been fairly straightforward to put that message out. That said, I imagine they are a fairly small organisation and perhaps are taking some time to be better placed to fully answer all questions that have been posed.

Italiangreyhound · 27/08/2019 21:01

bd67th "I got incensed enough to search for that training whiteboard photo:"

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3574351-Rape-crisis-centre-staff-trained-to-ask-the-cis-guest-to-leave

Thank you for sharing that.

That is so scary, on so many levels.

If I were working with traumatized people and my presence there (as a woman with a certain hair/eye/skin colour etc) were traumatizing for a patient/client etc, I would make myself scarce.

I'd not see it as my place to insist on being present. I'm female and maybe the way I look might upset someone, maybe a person with dementia and I may remind them of their daughter etc.

I'd really not want to upset anyone.

So the idea that someone could put themselves in a position where they know their presence could be upsetting for traumatized women is very scary.

I remember reading about the Vancouver Rape Relief Centre.

I 100% believe women, men, trans women, trans men, and non-binary people (if they need specific help non-binary related help) should have help with rape counselling etc and refuges etc. Maybe it is time that the state provides all this and no one should have to fundraise for this. Maybe this should now be provided like hospital and medical care.

Original poster

Theendofmyrope · 27/08/2019 21:10

The Vancouver RCC has been attacked again by TA's today

OP posts:

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 27/08/2019 21:10

You are pretending I'm lashing out, reporting my posts and making me out to be the bad person

We can all see which side mumsnet mods are on, and it's not women's.

I haven't reported any posts at all on this thread

I am a woman, and it seems MN thinks that you are lashing out at the wrong person here too.

I will repeat, I haven't been gloating, nor insensitive, I've sympathise with your situation and I understand how tough it is for you. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope this period of your life is over quickly.

Original poster

Theendofmyrope · 27/08/2019 21:12

glinner.co.uk/the-right-side-of-history/

OP posts:

Detroitinnineteensixtyeight · 27/08/2019 21:14

Well I feel you have, Lemon. Do my feelings not matter?

StockTakeFucks · 27/08/2019 21:25

Maybe it is time that the state provides all this and no one should have to fundraise for this.

No.
Years ago I would've been all up for that.
However we know by now that the state provides fuck all. There have already been cuts to refuges, women's aid, rape centres etc.

Being up for "help for everybody" will just give permission to the state to take from the measly amount they use to help women and redirect it to the alphabet soup.

No. They want it, they can work for it,fight for it, put themselves at risk for it,donate time,resources and money and everything women have done long before us and still do now.

Not stamp their feet and whinge because we have something and they want it.

Fuck sharing. Fuck caring.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 27/08/2019 21:27

Detroitinnineteensixtyeight please quote which of my posts you felt was me gloating or being insensitive, I will certainly apologise if I have been, however I don't think me saying I was in a refuge fairly recently was either of those things.

I get that it's easy to find, and cling onto, what you feel is, a tangible reason for your anger when your whole world is out of control, you are aiming it at the wrong person here though.

Once again,I wish you all the best.

twelveeleven · 27/08/2019 21:30

#i'dhavewaxedthetesticals

Detroitinnineteensixtyeight · 27/08/2019 21:33

Men in women's shelters, effectively shutting me and other traumatized women who bare, ya know, actually women, out them, is lashing out, eh?

But making women out to be crazy, hysterical, the abuser not the victim is what men do. It takes away women's legitimacy.
Keep your apologies.

ShortCircuit181 · 27/08/2019 21:41

What has that got to do with allowing men to volunteer in a rape crisis centre?

Because, as I said above, the men catered for by said rape crisis centre (in this case female identifying men) might prefer to speak with other men if they've been abused by a female, which is something that is becoming significantly more common in recent years.

StockTakeFucks · 27/08/2019 21:51

which is something that is becoming significantly more common in recent years.

What ? At the same time as self ID and "transwomen are women"?

Do you really not see the link?

Wurzelsnewhead · 27/08/2019 21:51

What the elected government needs to do is sort out the mess created with the GRA in 2004.
It needs to stop kow towing to aggressive male privilege and ensure sex based rights are not erased. But it is easier to sit back and enable the unravelling of women’s sex based rights.
The ‘state’ doesn’t give a shiny turd about women.
(Tbf it’s no great surprise given the debacle we have with Brexit).

Detroitinnineteensixtyeight · 27/08/2019 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 27/08/2019 21:58

Detroitinnineteensixtyeight I think you must be getting me confused with another poster

All I have said is that transgender people who have been raped need support and may feel more comfortable with another transgender person to talk to, given that they have other issues going on too

I also stated that the refuge situation is very different from the rape crisis situation as nobody is living with anyone else in the rape crisis centre so much easier to separate people.

I'm not going to apologise for having lived in a refuge with my transgender loved one (my child if you must know) and I never said they had provision for them there, they were ill equipped to deal with them because they aren't a specialised service, although they tried their best.

I genuinely hope that your situation improves soon for you.