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AIBU?

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Original poster

Were adults such as teachers ever hateful to you when you were small?

162 replies

Toughsuitofarmour · 26/08/2019 19:39

Just something on my mind today. It strikes me as bizarre when looking back, how contemptuous and cold certain adults were to me when I was a child. A couple of teachers, a sports coach, etc.

I was born to an unmarried mother in Ireland over thirty years ago and wonder if maybe part of it was because of that. My grandparents were well regarded in the community though.

One of the adults in my home life was a bit of a bully, which definitely affected my self-esteem, and I wonder if these other adults who were scornful of me maybe picked up on some vulnerability in me - combined with their ideas that I was 'illegitimate', maybe that was their justification because somebody like me didn't count? I don't know.

I'm not talking about anything extreme and I had lots of nice other teachers and neighbours too!

The whole thing though makes me think that was a mad way to behave - I couldn't imagine saying nasty things to a child, or going out of my way make them feel small, or ignoring a distressed child.

Was childhood just a bit tougher back then for everyone? Did people not think much of how their words or actions could impact on small kids?

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 26/08/2019 19:43

Yes they were my reception teacher was a right wicked cow, and I don’t mean in a disceplinerian way. I mean she was just a nasty bitch. I was terrified of her. I was school phobic for years.

Towerofjoyless · 26/08/2019 19:46

Yes, my primary 3 teacher was an utter cow. I asked to go to the loo, she said no and I wet myself in the class. She then shouted at me and demanded to know why I never told her I was desperate for a pee Hmm

Original poster
Toughsuitofarmour · 26/08/2019 19:48

It is crazy, these attitudes simply would not be tolerated now.

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 26/08/2019 19:49

All the time. We were an immigrant family so stuck out like a sore thumb. I remember one old guy screaming at me to not steal his flowers when my friend and I were walking by his house

Aquamarine1029 · 26/08/2019 19:52

My year 3 teacher was a horrible bitch, not just to me but to the whole class. She was absolutely miserable.

formerbabe · 26/08/2019 19:57

Yes. I lost my mother when I was a child and one particular teacher was unbearably vile to me afterwards...accusing me of stealing another girl's vest from the school changing room. I hadn't taken it but really, if you thought a child whose mother had died was actually stealing clothes, wouldn't you perhaps think that maybe their most basic needs weren't being taken care of?

Fucking bitch. Would love to see her again to tell her what I thought of her.

AuntieMarys · 26/08/2019 19:57

Yes
1960s.
Paedophile sadistic bastard who sodomized junior school boys.
A repressed bitch who forcefed children at lunch time.
A head who turned a blind eye.
And yes it was a church school

BeenHereForAges · 26/08/2019 19:59

I had an awful bully for a teacher in primary too. There were a couple who seemed to enjoy humiliating young kids. Think they got a power trip off it. I'd love to bump into them now....

herculepoirot2 · 26/08/2019 20:00

Mine were brilliant.

Kazzyhoward · 26/08/2019 20:01

It is crazy, these attitudes simply would not be tolerated now.

There are still some seriously nasty teachers in schools today.

redexpat · 26/08/2019 20:04

Yep some really nasty human beings. Also plenty of wonderful ones.

Craftycorvid · 26/08/2019 20:07

Sadly, yes! Teachers who thought humiliation a great way to convey knowledge; adult family members who saw it as their ‘duty’ to - as they saw it - ‘put children in their place’.

TomHagenMakesMyBosomTremble · 26/08/2019 20:10

Yes. My yr1 teacher used to take her frustrations out on us, I think.

Pleaser256 · 26/08/2019 20:10

I remember being in Year 2 and our class was sat down on the carpet in front of the teacher. She was asking us about something we’d just learnt, I can’t remember what exactly but she was exasperated that none of us were getting it and got really pissed off with us, like actual fuming. She spent the next hour scowling at us and muttering under her breath. I’ll always remember that. I can’t imagine ever talking to a group of 6yr olds like that Confused.

HelgaHufflepuff76 · 26/08/2019 20:11

Yes. My teacher from year 10 and it was the mid 80s.
If she was in a bad mood she would make me bring her my maths book and mock my work in front of the whole class. I was terrible at maths but I was too scared of her to ask for help. Once she threw all my books out of my desk onto the floor and made me pick them up again.
She wasn't like it with anyone else so I felt like I must have been just a very unlikeable child, but she was the only teacher who ever treated me like that.
I still have fantasies about tracking her down and telling her what I think of her, but she's probably dead now.

HelgaHufflepuff76 · 26/08/2019 20:12

Not year 10, I meant when I was ten.

SailorJake · 26/08/2019 20:13

Yes. A brownie/guide second in charge person. She REALLY disliked me. Was never specifically nasty, just cold, ignored me, nasty looks etc. However, whilst I get on with most people as an adult, I’ve noticed over the past twenty years that every so often, a person will take a strong dislike to me even if we’ve never had much contact. It doesn’t bother me but it annoys me if I have to work with said person.

Pinkywoo · 26/08/2019 20:14

Not a teacher, but I was slapped round the face by a dentist for not sitting still and crying when I was five, my father carried on going to him for years until he retired!

HeyMonkey · 26/08/2019 20:15

Awful at my school. Several seemed to actually hate children and were quite sadistic, they seemed to actively enjoy making children feel worthless and intimidated.

I'd love to bump into my maths and chemistry teachers now as an adult and tell them how they made me feel.

ceebeejeebies · 26/08/2019 20:16

I was thinking about this earlier today, how so many teachers were just horrible. The school on fire made me think about how I used to hate school and would wish it would burn down. Teachers were awful.
I was also bullied by a dinner lady who lost her job because of it! Maybe I went to a bad school but I was also the child of a single parent so maybe that's why.

Malvinaa81 · 26/08/2019 20:18

Going back many years, we had a female teacher at primary school who was quite young, very sharp tongued, sarcastic, and generally unpleasant.

A couple of years later, when our class had nothing to do with her at all, it was announced she had a serious illness, and there was a collection for this woman to go to Lourdes.

I declined to put in anything and honestly felt God had rightly punished her for being so horrible! I even felt it would be no loss if she died.

In any event she never returned to the school , so no other children had to put up with her malice.

OnlineAlienator · 26/08/2019 20:24

Yeah two teachers stand out for me as being downright NASTY. One to all in class, one just to the thickos who couldnt keep up in maths like me, which wrecked my self esteem with numbers for life. I went from top to bottom set in a year because of her :(

Generally bitchy PE teachers. Unless you were sporty, you got bitchiness. Why? Whats the point/big deal? Am i going to suddenly love sport if you tear me down in it? No!

MoaningMinnie1 · 26/08/2019 20:26

Yes and hospital staff.

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 26/08/2019 20:30

I had lots of strict teachers who I always said were ‘mean’ but who I knew deep down were very fair and only really told me or my classmates off when we actually deserved it. However, there were also one or two who I think were genuinely nasty and vindictive, and as a child you really do know the difference. Kids have such a strong sense of what’s ‘fair’ and when a teacher is nasty to you for no reason I swear it sticks with you for life.

I was always tall, dark, gangly and maybe even a little ‘butch’ as a child and I had a couple of teachers who very obviously only liked the cute petite blonde girls in my class. I had a very pretty, girly younger sister and one teacher in particular seemed to take great pleasure in constantly telling me how pretty and adorable my sister was Hmm She was the same teacher who I remember ruthlessly mocking an eight year old classmate of mine (another awkward gangly child, as it happens) for saying that she thought 1901 was in the 19th century... hardly the most ridiculous mistake for a child to make. And we’re talking proper standing up in front of the class, ‘let’s all point at her and laugh’ mockery from said teacher. That’s just one random example that springs to mind but there were dozens more.

Another teacher seemed for some reason to be hell-bent on not letting me be in the school play and kept telling poor ten-year-old me that I was a terrible actress. She wouldn’t even let me audition. I never understood what her problem was. I remember a feeling of great vindication when another teacher was in charge the following year and I got the main part... ah, what a simpler time!

GrimGirl · 26/08/2019 20:30

Yes my mum had mental health issues and living in a tiny village I think everyone knew. I was fostered for a short while too. I lived in the same street as my junior school so my mum never picked me up as it was so close. All the other mums would openly repel me when their kids came out of school saying "Can Grim cone to play". I always saw the eye rolls and the looks between the other mums as they made excuses.
I always knew I wasn't approved of and know mums told thier kids yo stay away from me.