Were adults such as teachers ever hateful to you when you were small?

[Toughsuitofarmour]

Just something on my mind today. It strikes me as bizarre when looking back, how contemptuous and cold certain adults were to me when I was a child. A couple of teachers, a sports coach, etc.

I was born to an unmarried mother in Ireland over thirty years ago and wonder if maybe part of it was because of that. My grandparents were well regarded in the community though.

One of the adults in my home life was a bit of a bully, which definitely affected my self-esteem, and I wonder if these other adults who were scornful of me maybe picked up on some vulnerability in me - combined with their ideas that I was 'illegitimate', maybe that was their justification because somebody like me didn't count? I don't know.

I'm not talking about anything extreme and I had lots of nice other teachers and neighbours too!

The whole thing though makes me think that was a mad way to behave - I couldn't imagine saying nasty things to a child, or going out of my way make them feel small, or ignoring a distressed child.

Was childhood just a bit tougher back then for everyone? Did people not think much of how their words or actions could impact on small kids?

I had a few good teachers but many dreadful teachers, one especially. When he died I was glad, glad that no other child would ever be exposed to his vindictiveness.

My dd was telling me today about her reception teacher who I wasn't keen on but didn't realise at the time was this bad. She said she used to shout at them if they couldn't read. Not teach them to read! She asked my daughter to read a book but she couldn't read at the time so just made it up by looking at the pictures because she was scared to say she didn't know and instead of helping her, the teacher shouted at her, accused her of 'fake reading' and put her on the 'think chair'. There were many other examples about the same teacher. My dd is 11 now but she still remembers the bitch.

Yes some of my teachers, one in particular, was a fucking evil bitch. I remember her slapping me in front of the whole class when I got something wrong. I would complain of tummy ache every day when I was in her class not realising it was actually worry. Another one a year after her was awful too, I gave her a present on my last day because I had just wanted her to like me (my Mum hated her) . Teachers like that always had their favourites but I was never one of them! I have huge low self esteem issues as an adult and though I can't blame it all on them I'm sure that's part of what shaped it.

Mrs Jarvis my infant teacher. She was known as having a hard hand. She smacked me several times as she didn't like my writing.
I was terrified of her. She made my life a misery. My Dad went into school. She was ok after that.

She would have been sacked these days but she is probably enjoying that old teachers pension.

I had some incredible teachers and some who could not really be bothered so they did not teach but did not cause much harm either.
I had one teacher who was awful, she thrived on putting children down and making them feel insignificant and like they would amount to nothing, I was 9 and will always remember some of the comments she made.
I also had a male teacher who put his hand inside my shirt and asked me if I would like to go out for the day with him when I was fourteen.
I really hope children are more assertive today and they are listened to. We were deemed trouble makers if we ever spoke up.

My primary 3 teacher didn’t like me, luckily I was moved into the other primary 3 class with a lovely wonderful teacher. She drew my brother out of his shell two years earlier and then she got me. I loved art and she was actually and art teacher, I was picked for every project, I was listened too and allowed to create. She told me I had a lovely attractive smile and as I had a facial disfigurement that I got teased over it was so lovely. I drew a picture in primary 3 that was still inherit class 4 years later. Even after I left her class she always chose me for creative projects. She really was the most wonderful woman, warm and funny but fair and stern when needed. Ms McInnes/Mrs Gavin, thank you so much you will never know how much you meant to me and how much you shaped my young life. I had no self esteem but you made me feel important.

Cow of a teaching assistant was a different matter. I saw a friend returning a book to her room(my friend was one of her favourites) she had a set of reading books to hand out. ‘Maybe if you learn to read properly you can have one!’ I could read better than my friend that was for sure. I was an excellent reader and top of the year in primary school for reading. She can shove her books.

When I was about 10 I had an awful RE teacher. She didn’t shout, but somehow the deathly calm was worse ...she was vicious, cruel and calculating. I developed a (luckily short lived) fear of going to school that year because I was scared of her and dreaded her lessons.

I remember one girl was a boarder and her dad was in the army and she very rarely got to see him. He’d given her a little necklace to remind her of him - I think it was a fabric material. The teacher caught sight of it and took great pleasure in producing a pAir of scissors and making the girl cut the necklace off, ignoring her tears and pleas that it was a special gift, before announcing with a smirk ‘let this be a reminder to the rest of you that jewellery will not be tolerated’. It was awful.

We had all sorts of sadists at my prep and senior schools, and a fair smattering of nonces to boot. Plenty of good teachers too but the nasty ones are of course the ones you remember. But we were expected to put up with it, because our parents were Paying For Us To Be There. As if that was any justification. Oddly enough I am not fondly disposed towards private education.

My DM went to a convent school as a child, it was run by nuns who used splintered wooden rulers across the knuckles of children. Such cruelty and pure evil still goes on in church schools and convents.

I had a teacher who used to hate me so much in year 3 for no apparent reason to the point where I'd go to the sickbay on the Monday just after lunch when we used to have her. After about 6 weeks she clocked and would track me down just before lunch ended and make me stand in a partition between two classes every single week...

I had a few nasty teachers over the years however most not just to me but other kids as well, especially if you were not academic and / or from the area.

One form teacher I really hated because he made my life a misery for the whole year with all he did. A few years later I heard he died and I was glad, glad that no other kid would ever feel as bad as he made me feel. I know it sounds callous but he was a nasty fucker to me.

Looking back I think i it would constitute bullying by my year 5 and 6 male teachers. They used to single me out and laugh at me in class, call me stupid for being left handed, laugh at me when my parents moved to a nicer area, calling me all sorts of names. I wish I had the guts to tell my parents at the time. I also had a year 9 English teacher who told me I ‘had the face like the back of a bus’. Still upsets me now. I almost wanted to get a job back at my old school as she is still there so I could tell her what a cow she was.