Were adults such as teachers ever hateful to you when you were small?

[Toughsuitofarmour]

Just something on my mind today. It strikes me as bizarre when looking back, how contemptuous and cold certain adults were to me when I was a child. A couple of teachers, a sports coach, etc.

I was born to an unmarried mother in Ireland over thirty years ago and wonder if maybe part of it was because of that. My grandparents were well regarded in the community though.

One of the adults in my home life was a bit of a bully, which definitely affected my self-esteem, and I wonder if these other adults who were scornful of me maybe picked up on some vulnerability in me - combined with their ideas that I was 'illegitimate', maybe that was their justification because somebody like me didn't count? I don't know.

I'm not talking about anything extreme and I had lots of nice other teachers and neighbours too!

The whole thing though makes me think that was a mad way to behave - I couldn't imagine saying nasty things to a child, or going out of my way make them feel small, or ignoring a distressed child.

Was childhood just a bit tougher back then for everyone? Did people not think much of how their words or actions could impact on small kids?

Yep a real bitch in year 4. She loved pulling pupils out and humiliating them. She did it to me over a maths test and I never got my confidence back in math again. Yes Miss Cosgrove you were a totally cow

I had a teacher who behaved very strangely towards me. It started when I made a silly mistake in a mock exam (teens) and she hauled me up in front of the class to ridicule it in two languages (one of them being the subject language). I was a very meek individual and I suppose this gave her encouragement to carry on and before long it had become out and out bullying. During one mock oral exam, each time I hesitated on an answer (and I was terrified of her so not surprising), she would pause the tape and berate me, then immediately press play so I had to respond to questions like, "Why are you such an idiot?" With the correct answer.

At this point, I complained to my mum and so I was hauled in to the Head of Year's office to explain myself. In the gentlest terms, she told me that I was a good girl who obviously just made a mistake and I should back down now before I ruined someone's career. The next school year, I was assigned to this teacher's tutor group. Perhaps the school thought this would "heal old wounds" but it was essentially another year of torture for me.

I had a friend who visited the school a few years after we left and asked this teacher if she remembered her tutee Limpshade. "No idea who you're talking about", she replied. A few weeks later, a very, very long letter arrived for me at my mum's address from the teacher. It was very strange. There was no acknowledgment of her behaviour but instead general chit chat about what she had been up to since I had left the school and inquiring about how I had found university, etc, with the invitation to reply to her home address as enclosed. It was a kind of "pen pal" letter. Very odd. I tore it up.

I wouldn't say I was scarred by the whole experience but my mind still boggles about what she thought she was doing by writing the letter. Was it a kind of shit "sorry"? Was it to taunt me? Was she worried I might complain about her again? Total mystery!

Just want to say this a great post.
YES , I’m 46 now and I still remember the horrible primary school teacher, who taught us “dance” in PE.
She had her favourites and I wasn’t one of them.

My horrible bitch PE teacher. Mrs Kelly, you fucking old cow.

Some interesting characters and a different attitude from some certainly but also some incredibly kind teachers. Nuns at my secondary school who wanted the best for each of us and who rather indulged us.

Mr W at primary had a short piece of leather belt he hit hands with for crimes such as dropped pencils. Teaching us to be silent was his obsession. Forced public prayers for minor misdemeanours. We all knew he wasn’t well so sort of accepted it. Only years later did I discover he was Jewish but raised by a Catholic religious community in France. It explained all.

Mrs D our music teacher at the convent who had a very strange habit of stopping mid sentence to shout ‘we need to dance’. Apparently it was to help us understand timing and rhythm p. An absolute hoot waltzing and doing a polka around the assembly hall, on a whim. She also had a ‘bit of fun’ where she played three notes on her beloved grand and she’d then point to a girl who had to stand and sing the next note. Completely bonkers but huge fun.

A Pervy old man physics teach Mr S who spent his life teaching boys until about two years before I did A levels at a recently merged school. I was the only girl doing physics. He used to go on about nylons dissolving if I sat on the lab benches and lean too close when looking at my work. I remember we found porn in his briefcase once, which the lads stole to teach him a lesson. Helped me get a good grade at A level though.

Yes. There was a hitter in my primary school who didn’t even justify that by saying it was corporal punishment, she just lost it and raged/slapped. I remember my mum saying “‘Mary Smith’ does not like children, she shouldn’t be doing that job” but she was still there when I left.

Also remember being in hospital aged 4 (in the days before parents were allowed to stay) and crying at night, and a nurse coming over to say “stop making that noise NOW, you’ll wake the others.”

I had a vile “teacher” when I was around 8/9. She would make me put my hands flat on the table with fingers splayed and hit them with the thin side of a 30cm wooden ruler. When I eventually told someone, she moved on to dropping hardback books on them instead. It did not stop until I moved classes at the end of the school year.

No idea why she despised me so much, I was actually top of the class! (Being bullied by my peers meant I was very isolated so escaped by learning) I suspect it was because we’re from a very small town and she’d actually taught my mother and siblings (and hated them too!)

You’d be forgiven for thinking this was in the 1940s, it was actually the late 1980s!

So fuck you Mrs Reid, you vile creature, there’s a special place in hell for people like you!

It is crazy, these attitudes simply would not be tolerated now.

Oh they are, unfortunately. The minute I read your thread title a particular teacher I had sprung to mind. She was absolutely hideous. A nasty, possibly mentally unwell woman, who would run so hot and cold at school that you'd never know where you stood with her. I had her when I was 8 and again when I was 10. She made an absolute mockery out of me because I said there was a queen called Jane Grey for 9 days between Edward and Mary Tudor. Laughed at me and got the whole class to laugh at me for making up a ridiculous fantasy. Throughout the day whenever I raised my hand about anything else she got everyone to laugh at me again about what I'd be making up this time. So the next day I brought in the book I'd read about Jane Grey in, (a huge heavy hardback a neighbour had given me) and as soon as she skimmed the chapter and saw she was wrong, she slammed the book shut and threw it at my face. Literally threw it. I ducked and it bounced off my head and hit the far wall, breaking the spine. She had no business being anywhere near children.

Yet she's still teaching now. I live near my old school but there isn't a chance in hell I'd ever consider sending my son there. 100% because of her. DS is in a sports team with a lot of kids in the school and apparently she's just as awful. I'm constantly standing on the sidelines during practice hearing about the shit she's still pulling. The parents have tried to organise to deal with her but she's untouchable. Her reputation is well known and parents try really hard to get their kids taken out of her class. Some leave the school because of her. But she still remains. It's awful.

I think I was 7 or 8 at the time and our teacher was asking if anyone knew how to spell the word “any” a few of my classmates put their hand up and said “eny” and the teacher was getting really cross because they all kept saying “eny”

I put my hand up and said “any” she flew across the room and slapped me really hard across the face, she had miss heard what I had said.
The classroom went completely quite and I remember wanting to cry but held the tears back, the other children said I had said “any” to her.

I never told my mum for many many years as I was scared of the backlash from her if I had told my mum and it has affected me for many years and to this day when I think about it I feel like crying.

When I was about 7, we had a trainee teacher taking over some of our classes as part of her training. She was very nice, but a bit meek and hadn’t quite developed the confidence you need as a teacher. My main teacher was a dragon, a shouty scary woman who had no issues with confidence! It was best to avoid getting on her bad side.

It was the week before Christmas and the trainee was leading lessons. There were worksheets to do, and once finished you could move onto making Christmas cards as a fun activity. I finished my work so asked the Trainee if I could start my card. Of course she said, and I excitedly got sticking and cutting with the other kids.

Some time later my main teacher comes back, starts talking to the class and clocks me at the activity table making my card. She asks me why I was there, as she hadn’t given me permission to move onto that yet. I started panicking and tried to explain the trainee had let me, but she told me off for talking back and started shouting at me in front of the class.

With desperation I looked over at the trainee for help, but she wouldn’t look at me. She said nothing, and let me take the shouting. I kept waiting for her to explain she had allowed it but it never came.

When I came back to class after lunch suddenly my teacher was my best friend, asking me about my card and telling me how good it was. I understood even then that the trainee must’ve had a word with her at lunch and explained.

I’m in my 30s now but I’ll never forget it, it was the first time I’d been let down by an adult in such a way and thrown under the bus. It was quite a realisation that adults don’t always do the right thing.

I had an English teacher in year 7 who hated me for some reason. I was really good at English at primary school and loved creative writing (in biro). At my posh secondary school we had to use a fountain pen and I was not very good at being neat with it. She was truly horrible to me. Before I handed any work in, I knew what mark I would get. The girl who sat behind me was also poorly treated too. This teacher humiliated me in front of the class on several occasions.

My story does have a satisfactory ending for me. In year 7 I was very quiet northern girl. Now I'm a proud northern gobshite in exile in the SW. Back in the N, a few years after school and uni I was playing in the orchestra for a show. It ran for a week and was very lucrative in addition to teaching all day. Bitch teacher turned up to watch. She came to speak to me afterwards saying "don't you remember me, I taught you English? I'm not in teaching any more" My reply was "only too well. Thank fuck no-one else will have to endure your petty belittling and humiliation." Her mouth fell open - her mates were really stunned but because I was carrying stuff essential for my playing (I don't want to name them as it's a bit outing) and they could be used to defend myself, they walked off with her. I shouted loudly "Fuck off you malicious old bag" after her.

Karma has got her. I went to a school reunion last year and she was there. She now has some form of dementia and although she is only in her late 60s, was in quite a bad way.

My PE teachers were both appalling shits too. And as for the disgusting cow who taught English...

In my Junior school I was the only one of divorced parents but my Mum Remarried when I was 9.

One particular teacher seemed to really have it in for me and I was forever escaping the classroom crying and used to shut myself in the loos. Once when I mentioned my 'Dad' he said in front of the whole class.."You dont have a Dad, your Mother is divorced".

At the time as child I just couldn't figure it but looking back he obviously had a huge problem with it. He was vile to me for a whole year, accused me of being a thief and therefore a liar as I wouldn't admit being a thief, so if I ever put my hand up he would say "we cant believe anything you say as your a liar"

He had to apologise to me in front of the class at the end of the year when my folks put him right of the alledged 'theft'

But there were other teachers staff who were lovely and would spend ages trying to coax me out of the toilets

Early 80's. Evil swimming 'teacher'. Mrs Lawrence, you were a nasty child hating bitch. She was feared by many. I even tried to break my arm so I could have 6 weeks away from her.

I was quite overweight as a child...I massively comfort ate after my mum's death.
I remember going on a camping trip with a youth group type thing and overhearing one of the youth group workers bitching about my weight with another worker.
Fucking cow

@formerbabe She was a cow, it is very normal for DC to turn to comfort food from the lose of a parent. I am sorry about your DM, it must have been very hard.

Oh my swimming instructor too, I still have a fear of the pool and never learned to swim after his roaring to keep my face in the water.
I am glad it is change today.

My PE teacher forced me to do cross country in the winter when I was in year 8 knowing full well that I was severely asthmatic and the cold air would often cause attacks. She took my inhaler off me at the start and told me I’d get it back when I finished the run as she was “fed up of Navi dodging PE using her asthma as an excuse”. This is what she told my Grandparents after I collapsed half way through the run and had to be rushed to hospital - she still had her job by the time I graduated...

@EmeraldShamrock

Thank you for your kind comment

Well no one forced them to do the job, Weary. I honestly think (not so much now but back then). A lot of teachers were like the Trunchbull hated kids and only went into teaching to scare kids.

When I was 9 I was in hospital for several months following a road accident. There was one nurse who used to say really spiteful things to me when no other adult was around. I often think about the evil bitch, and wonder what the hell she was doing working in a Children's Ward when she clearly disliked children. I wish that I'd told my parents about her but for some reason I kept it secret.

The primary school teachers were fine to me but the one in 3rd class was horrible to my friend . And the 5th class teacher would scream and shout and bang things down on her table so hard she'd break them. Then blame whoever she was screaming at. Abusive behavior really.
Geography teacher in secondary school was a lunatic. She made me stand up once and say to the whole class "I am an idiot". Can't remember why. I've never shared that before

Oh yes, a hateful bitter TA/dinner lady at primary school. In year 2 I was helping her tidy up after crafts and wiped a bit of tickly feather off my nose and she yelled at me to.stop picking my nose in front of the entire class. Bitch.

I remember thinking how cruel it was to have teachers hitand slap children as punishment when my mum was young. Seems some of them had to adapt and become humiliating and malicious.

I had one who zapped all my confidence by accusing me of something I did t do. My classmates stood up for me but he wasn't having it. He went out of his way to ridicule me and my results took a massive nosedive in that subject. He really made me feel like I was useless and the three years I had with him were awful. When I got a new teacher for fourth year my results suddenly went up - she praised me and encouraged me to take the subject on to a level.

The first teacher's comments stuck with me and I think helped me form a core belief that I wasn't good enough. It all came up in counselling for something else and I'm happy to say I have got over it.

I met a friend of his a few years ago and he was saying I was so lucky to have him as a teacher. "That's not my opinion of my experience thank you" was my repsnse as I could t squeak out anything more as the mere mention of him brought it all back.

I am a primary teacher now and there is absolutely no way I could speak to a child like that. I am always conscious of "would I like someone to speak to my child like that?"

Some of the stories shared have been awful and I hope that everyone has been able to move on from those experiences.

The teacher I had for the first three years of junior school, so year 3 - 5.
She just didn't like me. I am left handed and my handwriting wasn't very tidy. The left handedness made me write a lot of numbers and letters backwards. Rather than helping me come up with ways to remember the right way round, she just used to belittle me a lot.
Then she just used to make me cry.
There was a group of about four of us she just seemed to enjoy taunting. I look back now and realise some, if not all, would class as having additional needs nowadays. But she didn't help, she was just constantly cruel.
There was a little boy called Stephen who she regularly used to needle at till he snapped. Then she'd just laugh at him or send him out of the class.
I was too scared of her to say anything, I just felt relieved I wasn't her target for the day.
I tried to tell my mum, but she was convinced the teacher was excellent and wonderful as she'd taught my older sister and my sister really liked her.
I was too young to explain what was going on. She didn't hit or actually call us anything rude, she was just cruel.
Oh the intense relief when I had a different teacher for year six. That's when I discovered I'd been intentionally held back in reading and maths. My new teacher had been told I was a bit dim and was surprised to find out I wasn't at all! Just painfully shy and anxious.
Had some crap teachers in senior school, but at least you don't have the same one all day long!