Were adults such as teachers ever hateful to you when you were small?

[Toughsuitofarmour]

Just something on my mind today. It strikes me as bizarre when looking back, how contemptuous and cold certain adults were to me when I was a child. A couple of teachers, a sports coach, etc.

I was born to an unmarried mother in Ireland over thirty years ago and wonder if maybe part of it was because of that. My grandparents were well regarded in the community though.

One of the adults in my home life was a bit of a bully, which definitely affected my self-esteem, and I wonder if these other adults who were scornful of me maybe picked up on some vulnerability in me - combined with their ideas that I was 'illegitimate', maybe that was their justification because somebody like me didn't count? I don't know.

I'm not talking about anything extreme and I had lots of nice other teachers and neighbours too!

The whole thing though makes me think that was a mad way to behave - I couldn't imagine saying nasty things to a child, or going out of my way make them feel small, or ignoring a distressed child.

Was childhood just a bit tougher back then for everyone? Did people not think much of how their words or actions could impact on small kids?

In year 7, I’d had some time off due to my dad committing suicide. It was the talk of the year, as you’d imagine, and so I came back to lots of questions and theories on how it happened. My friends did their best to shield me from it all and tell the other kids to leave me alone.

It was a really difficult day and made all the worse by an RE lesson delivered by a teacher known for being cruel. In light of my return, she decided to change the topic we were supposed to be learning to ‘death and funerals’ instead. She explained that someone who committed suicide had essentially committed murder and so would never be welcomed by God. She then encouraged the class to ask questions and direct any at me if they wanted to.

I went home after it.

Fucking hell @Funghi that’s utterly disgusting behaviour from anybody let alone a teacher - I’m so sorry you had to be subjected to this

I went to school in the 80s and 90s and think there was a lot of things that wouldn’t be tolerated now.

My dad died when I was young, not only was I bullied by teachers but other students called me a bastard - this must be an attitude from their parents. I’d like to think that I would be protected, rather than bullied now, in this more enlightened age but I’m not so sure, given some of the comments I’m reading.

@Funghi
I’m sorry for your father committing suicide. That teacher’s behaviour was disgusting. How long ago was that?

As we’re naming names, Mrs Stones, you were a malicious, vindictive old snob. No one actually liked you, they just used to pretend, so that you didn’t turn on them.

High School English teacher. Didn't like me nor my older sister and wasn't afraid to show it. He was also extremely rude to my mum.

My DS's primary one teacher disliked him for some reason but every other teacher he's had adores him. I think it's down to the fact that me and her friend hate each other's guts. Shame she took it out on my boy.

@Funghi

That's horrific

My 3rd year primary school teacher was awful, picked on me without reason. I was always confused in her class.
In secondary school, one PE teacher was a cow, she stole my PE skirt with hard won netball badges sewn onto it. She must brazenly walked around wearing it. Everyone knew it was mine, I was the on,y one with the netball awards. She also begrudgingly had to let me take part in school county athletics completion, since I was the fastest girl in school, so she had no choice. But she was a bitch until I left
Thankfully all my other teachers were amazing

Macca it was about 30 years ago now.

My mum was furious about it and arranged to see the heads to organise a proper return to school plan. She ended up letting all of her built up frustration out on them to the point I actually felt bad for the teachers. So I guess at least one positive came from the RE teacher’s actions.

That is horrific Funghi. I'm so sorry about your loss.

@funghi

It’s shocking that that attitude still existed, even 30 years ago. How about some compassion for the blameless child left behind. It’s the same era that I was bullied and called a bastard at school, we reported it but nothing was ever done.

Thank you all

I went to school in the 80s and 90s and think there was a lot of things that wouldn’t be tolerated now.

I agree. Let’s hope it continues moving in the right direction.

Funghi. .
I should be shocked but sadly I’m not as it really doesn’t surprise me

It’s awful Macca. Those kinds of things really stay with you too don’t they. Hopefully those responsible look back on their actions and shudder now.

Yes, two stick in my mind.

A horrible priest who used to come in to visit our primary school. Horrible man. Made belittling cruel comments to children, including me.
Head nun of secondary school. Vile bitch.

Secondary school PE teacher Mrs D*y used to pick on me all the time, humiliate me in front of the class (e.g. everyone swim 20 lengths of the pool, egg you do 10), push me physically if she felt I wasn't running fast enough (I have asthma), once accused me (completely groundlessly) of stealing someone else's things.

Secondary school English teacher Miss B**s once through a board rubber at me because she thought I wasn't paying attention.

Threw not through!!

Mrs D retired recently. A bit sick-making reading the tributes in the school magazine. Miss B was sacked for having an affair with the music teacher.

@Funghi

I went to a Catholic school and wonder if the behaviour of some students and teachers towards me and my siblings, when our dad died, contributed to me now being an atheist. When I read your comment I wondered if it was a Catholic school too. I was appalled by what you said but sadly, not surprised.

Yes, I hope they have become more enlightened and look back with shame.

Yes. My mum was quite a cow to my teachers. So they took it out on me.

1. Horrible dinner lady once made me stay in the whole dinner time until I finished every last bite of my food (I only left my mushy peas because I hated mushy peas). I gagged all the way through it then promptly threw up as I was leaving dining hall for which she called me a "stupid bitch"

1. I used to refuse school nearly every morning when I was about 9 or 10. Vile old man teacher very Victorian style was doing assembly one day and pointed to me in front of everyone to call me to the front to help with something in the assembly. As he pointed to me he said "You, girl, come here. Yes, you the spoiled little brat who whinges about school every day". Cunt

Macca yes it was a catholic school and I too am now an atheist.

I’m sorry you went through it and, even worse, your complaint was ignored.

I was forcefully made to be right handed, ridiculed for not being as smart as my brother or as pretty as my sister and my own mum would join in with it too- but I did have the most wonderful caring beautiful soul of a teacher in years 5 and 6 at primary- she was called Mrs Steven's and she had a slight liverpudlian accent, in a village school where I felt worthless, her kind words and patience was the most beautiful blessing. I often wonder what happened to her.

Yes, my class 4 (year 3) teacher in primary was horrible. She had massive anger issues and would fly off the handle at the littlest thing. I was well behaved so never really got the brunt of her rage, but she would hit the knuckles of the ‘naughty’ kids with a wooden ruler, and actually broke the ruler once. This was in 1988.

Yes. Teacher who smacked me on the hand first day of new school and made out I couldn't read. I was 6.