DP wants to share my wages

[wanderluster]

I am self employed and my work involves me working from home. This does somewhat take over the home for a few months at a time as I complete each project. DP does help out now and again with a few little bits but it is not his line of work and he has his own full time job with very healthy wage.

My issue is that as I'm self employed and get paid a substantial figure in a lump sum at the end of each project, I intend to put money aside for tax etc and also budget to pay myself a monthly wage. DP does not want me to do this, he is pressuring me to spend a good chunk of the money on things we wouldn't be able to afford outright and he wants me to get a part time job too to provide myself with the monthly wage I would like (!).

I think he is being hugely unreasonable, after all he does not share his wages with me (other than in contributing his fair share to monthly bills etc).
AIBU to stand my ground and say no, it's my money?

Hope you're ok, OP.

It reads to me that he actually begrudges your success and is trying to get you to sabotage yourself. I don't think you can afford to continue to meet his demands and cover his unkindness.

Out of interest, would have the kitchen done impact on your projects - e.g. could you run one of your projects easily at the same time as kitchen being done?

Lulualla I will make sure my 19 year old son reads your post. It's very well put.

I doubt he's got as much pay left at the end of a month as all that though. Presumably annual tax about 8k, national insurance about 4.5k, maybe student loans, pension contributions, travel costs, parking costs, work clothes, work lunches, the inevitable requests to sponsor work colleagues, chip in for birthdays/leaving dos etc. Working isn't cheap. If he's paying interest on debts as well, the sky's the limit. I think how you allocate your money is up to you but I think people are being a bit unfair to imply he's squirrelling away £2k a month. It's unlikely.

Given that you've had to give up your job to look after children, you should be splitting the 'extra' money he has left over from his wages every month. If he does that, you would be working together as a team, and it's more reasonable for him to make suggestions for your lump sum.

I suspect he'd balk at it, however, and would tell you to go out and get a job if you want spending money ...in which case you say "Great, will you be doing the drop-offs or the pick-ups for the kids?"

@Lulualla yes totally I meant I'd give my dh the lump sum because he doesn't treat me like a freeloading piss taker, the op's dh wouldn't get a penny! He wants to spend her money then expect her to get another job to cover her share of bills while he has god knows how much left over at the end of the month.
I would actually leave him.