To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

[thedysontree]

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

At my weddin, my soon to be fil threatened to send someone to shoot us as they weren’t coming to the wedding. 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

My wedding, I came down stairs in my wedding dress, mum and bridesmaids had left to the church. Dad told me to put the dog in the garden.(you didn't argue with him) Dog came in and tried to jump up. Dad just laughed at a couple of paw prints which I had to sponge out.
Had a lovely service, get to the reception Dad stands up for his speech calls me by the wrong name. He wouldn't do a father and daughter dance. My Uncle did the dance at which point my drunk father tried to start a fight with uncle saying he was showing father up. He then started to shout out that he hated all the people there as they had only come for the food. People started to leave as it was embarrassing.

overly long speeches...my dh and I now always run a sweepstake on our dinner table about the length of them because we’ve encountered some doozies!

The groom who made a music video with the father and brother of the bride and played it as part of his speech

The father of the bride who listed her academic achievements like he was providing a resume for her

The mother of the bride who went off on a tangent about how hard it was raising her son alone.

The 5 speeches that lasted nearly 2 hours...

And my own husband...who as best man nearly revealed to the assembled wider family of the bride and groom that she was pregnant...he was pissed as a fart though, and fortunately it was contained and they are still friends!!

I asked a lady is she was the Groom's Mum. She said "no I'm his sister".

I wanted to die and was stuck in the meet and greet line up. I couldn't think of what to say apart from "Oh.....Um I like your dress"!

The wedding of exdh friend. The brides family had travelled from Germany for the DO.
The bride arrives,is walked down the aisle by her dad, ceremony begins and then bride asks the vicar to stop as her mum hadnt arrived.
So there was an interval while the coach full of germans were escorted to the church by a police car.

Same wedding. The evening buffet consisted of a bowl of scampi and some cucumber

My ex sil sat in the church whispering to her and my ex DH’s family that her boyfriend had proposed the day before and showing everyone the ring! Even the vicar cringed when he clocked what was going on! 😂

Two days before the wedding the groom, who had been with the bride 12 years, announced he was gay.

Gay, but really loved the bride as a friend.

The wedding still went ahead- only 3 of us guest knew what had happened and we were all at the wedding totally WTF and it was a cringe OTT wedding as well.

They then split up after the honeymoon and he moved in with a man who he'd clearly been shagging before the wedding.

Two months later he come aback begging for forgiveness. She took him back.

They now have three kids and she doesn't seem to mind that he 'works late' a lot and that he met his best mate in a nightclub and stays over at his a lot

It never gets mentioned so we don't ever bring it up.

At my brothers wedding, his wife’s step dad insisted on doing a speech before the Dad, and was obviously determined for it to be the best. It was awful and cringy, he joked too much putting down the bride and he got booed. Step dad had only been in her life a year.

Her Dad, very humble, just got up afterwards and did the most genuine beautiful speech. What a hero. Everyone clapped for ages as we were so appalled the step dad had tried to upstage him.

Wedding a couple of years ago. They got married in a huge, fancy country hotel which if you knew the bride and groom was all fur coat and no knickers. Bride walked down the aisle to ‘youre beautiful’ by James blunt. Cringey, but she really did think she was and used to tell us all stuff to that effect. Groom didn’t even look at her as she walked down. When he was given the marriage certificate, he threw it at his best man like it wasn’t a really important, meaningful document.

The meal was tiny, tiny portions. So small that when mine came one of the girls on our table laughed at mine thinking it must’ve been a mistake, then looked at her own plate and realised it wasn’t. We were starving. My DH ordered 2 cokes and a gin and tonic from the bar and cost around £50!

The grooms speech was horrendous, talked about how fit the bridesmaids were and how his new wife had arranged everything, but nothing about how much he loved her or if she looked nice. The rest of his speech was unintelligible, he mumbled like he couldn’t be bothered to be there, everyone was looking at each other in discomfort. Then they did hundreds of posey photos, looking longingly into a sunset, her head resting on his chest etc, which was totally not them at any other time!

At the evening do the bride was sexy dancing with all the men and showing them her garter etc, she then jumped on one of the best men and he fell down and got knocked out. The bride and groom then had an argument later on and she hit him saying she hated him and he was a bastard.

In the morning over breakfast, the best man was bragging to everyone that his wife was so pissed the night before that he had managed to do anal, he then described the state of bed sheets.

Worst wedding I’ve ever been to. Groom has continued to cheat on the bride throughout their marriage which she knows about, but stays because he buys her nice things.

I went to a wedding few years back where the groom was caught shagging one of the bride's maids at the evening reception by his new bride!

Marriage was over before it had begun.

@thesoftblueone OMG!

@Ablemaybel OMG also!

With XDH, travelled to another part of the country to the wedding of his colleague. They got married in a church on a cliff top which would have been lovely but it was in the middle of a thunderstorm and we all got soaked. The reception was in a grotty social club that was too small for the numbers invited. We were packed in like sardines with the steam rising off us. We were in the bar and there were a pair of velvet curtains over a doorway so we thought that was another room where the wedding breakfast would be. Wrong. It was just a tiny cubby hole where the buffet was laid out. We ate where were sitting. We were so packed in we had to co-ordinate our arm movements to get the food from plate to mouth. Still all damp and bedraggled from the torrential rain.

Worse was to come when at 8pm, all the kids had to leave the bar where the reception was taking place and they had to go into a conservatory that was built on the side. Those of us remaining in the warm felt horribly guilty at all these people who had been chucked out looking in longingly at us with their faces pressed to the glass. It was dreadful. XDH and me left early, went back to our hotel, opened a bottle of wine and watched the telly.

Not a wedding I went to, but was told about by my husband which I’ve just remembered (typical ladz bantz gone too far) where the best man did his whole speech around the grooms obsession with his own faecal matter complete with slide show of pictures he’d sent his mates. Apparently the one of the grandmothers was physically sick at the table and he best man was escorted out after a fight broke out.

Many years ago, friend’s wedding, the groom’s family were a bit rough. Day had gone well but descended into disaster at the end of the evening when the groom’s family ended up having a brawl outside! Fortunately bride and groom had already left. The bride’s mother had the job of preventing them from coming back into the hall, I felt I had to at least stand behind her to show solidarity as she’s a tiny lady and I’m quite tall. We were all watching through the windows as they laid into each other, climbing on cars to reach! Eventually they disappeared so my sister and I got a taxi back to our hotel. Arrive in our room at about 2am and get a phone call from reception asking us to come and give a statement to the nice police officer who has just arrived!

Many years ago I went to a wedding of a lovely young couple. The bride was a big woman, with an even bigger bust. She decided to go braless on their wedding, relying on the cups in her dress, that sadly weren't up to task. Every step, every shuffle on her seat, every tiny movement, caused a massive ripple of tit movement. Her breasts were constantly making bids for freedom.

She didn't seem bothered by her overactive bust though, but no one could look anywhere else. She truly needed to calm her tits She looked absolutely lovely while stationery though it must be said.

DH’s aunt got married abroad. Her parents couldn't come due to ill health and they offered to pay for the wedding if she stayed in the UK but she declined. She spent the whole night before and morning of the wedding crying wishing they were there.
We then got to the venue and the wedding coordinator checks who was who to confirm their roles (very small party consisting of just 8 family members). She then says “and you must be youvegotafriendinme?” Your going to be videoing the wedding yes?” I had no idea this was happening and I was even asked before hand. Not an issue, I did it but would have been nice to have been asked. Then at the dinner later on, they handed out presents and cards to everyone else thanking them for their role and completely left me out. arseholes

My DSIS wedding. Her new DH made an extremely long, over the top, emotional speech thanking everyone individually. He then had a very long section about the only sibling that’s every been there for her. Her twin. I wouldn’t mind but all of us are very close so was a blow. Then my dad did his speech and left my poor DB out. We know it wasn’t intentional but I did feel sorry for him

Mother of the bride was a bridesmaid. All the bridesmaids were in blue apart from the mother of the bride. She was in a wedding dress. A very sparkly, big, detailed wedding dress with a long train. This was in total contrast to the bride, whose dress was very simple.

According to the groom, she is the mother-in-law from hell.

@ISayWhatNow

My dad didn't have anything prepared either and my mum was freaking out. Fortunately he was a good impromptu speaker and his speech was lovely, sweet and funny. He died suddenly shortly after, and my wedding was the last time I saw him alive. Everyone thinks that sad when I tell them, but I'm not, I'm pleased I have such a lovely last memory of him.

I'm another who was at a buffet with the early queuers taking too much and with large amounts of people going hungry. I think the b&g overinvited not realising as many people would turn up as they did, it was informal with no real seating plan. Badly organised i think.

An old friend of mine got married a couple of years back. It was a second marriage for both. They had been childhood sweethearts but split up in their teens, each had married other people and had kids before getting back in touch via social media and leaving their respective partners for each other. The groom's mother and stepfather were born again JW. The stepfather made his disapproval well known in his speech, which was somewhat uncomfortable for those listening. They (mum/stepdad) were by this stage living in Spain and the plan was for my friend and her husband to join them. Long story short, my friend joined them, her husband stayed in the UK as there was rumours in his workplace of redundncies and he would have qualified for a good package. The rumours remained rumours, he didn't get made redundant, and the mother and stepfather tuened out to be crooks who had left the UK owing £££ to the IR. They would come back to the UK for non urgent NHS care giving another child's address as ''proof of residence'' here but the NHS caught up with them and they were faced with a large pill. They (mum/stepdad) ended up splitting up, and being defellowshipped (is that the term) from the JW. My friend is now back in the UK with her husband, his mum lives close by in a HA property despite owning properties here and coowning the Spain property. My friend's husband had had a tough childhood spending long periods in care, it appeared clear his parents had their faults but he had a rosy opinion of them as adults.

they were faced with a large bill, not a large pill!

Oh another wedding we were at, my husband's best mate, got married in St Lucia at an all inclusive resort. It cost us £££ to get there but we thought we'd make a holiday of it. The resort was soulless and miles from anywhere leaving us stuck on the resort most of the time. Unseasonable heavy rain + poor drainage meant for a lot of the time large areas had ankle deep flooding throughout the resort. OK noone has control over the weather, but at least in the UK our infrastructure ie plumbing and drainage is prepared for rain! There were 4 restaurants on the resort, all bar one were open to the elements. The wedding was almost like a conveyor belt with about 4 weddings a day, so there would be loads of other couples in the resort celebrating at the same time. Our party there was only about 8 of us, after the wedding we sat there watching the inhouse band and saying little to each other until our vocal chords were loosened by alcohol, when things did liven up a bit (in a good way.)

The b&g split up about 3-4 years later.

A cousin of mine also had a destination wedding to Thailand. We were invited but didn't g for financial reasons, but went to the UK party on return. They'd been together a number of years but on their return from Thailand the groom started having an affair with a colleague and they split within a year. I think there's a warning about destination weddings here somewhere!!!

missbattenburg
I was at a wedding a few weeks ago (in the choir) and the vicar made almost exactly the same comment.

He also explained the order of service before the bride came in - he finished by saying
'And then the doors of the church will open and you'll see a vision of loveliness in white. That'll be me'.
The vicar was actually very funny - but it did seem a bit like his show rather that of the bride and groom.

What is it with these vicars warning newly-weds that their spouse might be the one to off them?

Is it much more dangerous being married than I ever appreciated?

p.s. I do love a funny vicar, though

I’m very sorry for all the B&Gs whose own family members ruined things for them!

I was at a wedding last year where the FotB’s speech was all about how his daughter was the only one from her group of school friends to have any success and to make anything of herself! I was sat on a table with her school friends and they were all lovely (though shocked!) and not that it matters but they had all been to uni and all had perfectly decent jobs! Was so cringe of the dad - why the need to compare?!