To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

[thedysontree]

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

The Morris Dancer wedding

The wedding where the bride was 30 mins late and the groom 45 mins late. The bride thought she’d been stood up at the alter. Then the booze got knicked from the reception.

Pre mobile phones My parents went to one which was a few hours ago but set off early to be there for early afternoon wedding. Get there to find the thing has been called off. As he’s run off with some girl and had confessed morning off the wedding (they got married in the end) my parents ended up keeping the gift of a rather nice trifle bowl which everytime is used the story comes up.

Oh and the sermon at the wedding where the bride and groom were late was all about punctuality. And the vicar had to say that the service will be cut short as the people for the next wedding we’re starting to arrive.

I have 2 examples from my 1st wedding.Sister in law turned up with a tracksuit top on over her dress which she didn't take off and she had brought a carrier bag into the church with cans of pop in .My ex dh aunt and cousin caused a scene at the reception as they weren't sat together so we had to move some good friends from their seats so they'd pipe down

I have two.

First one the vicar went on and on about some "crazy woman claiming lies of an affair"

Second one is a bit more complex. Uncle in law is my age and was getting married. Bride has a crazy family and very crazy mum.

They booked a lovely English countryside wedding that was going to cost £5-10k. Bride's mum finds out the wedding plans and tells couple of isn't good enough for her daughter. Demands they book some crazy wedding Manor, crazy expensive dress from Paris and all this biz. As family and friends are coming all around the world with bride and groom having American based members coming, it was nice that we all were going to have a room for the night before and of the wedding.

Well we were until two weeks before the wedding when we all get told to arrive now 11am the morning of the wedding. Mother of the bride was having her wedding there the Friday instead. Screwed over so many people who now had booked travel but no where to stay, including my fil, mil and bil coming over from America.

Rather than the groom having all his grooms men and friends to help load in all the food and alcohol, he had to do this by himself. This included two big giant kegs of beer.

He gets told off by the motb for not being dressed yet and being a sweaty mess... So gets dressed goes to the wedding then meal after.

He was asked to give a speech. He said the following "when I asked bride to marry me I knew mother of the bride would make the wedding all about her somehow... And here we are"

He then sat down. Apparently it did not go down well. Well of course all of the groom's side snubbed her as she basically got a beautiful wedding paid for by him. She had screwed over the groom and guests for his wedding. Grooms family had been bulk growing fruit and veg especially for the wedding food so now had no idea what to do with it all. She also had been awful to him leading up to it all.

More and more people found out as the wedding went on. You could see more and more people avoid her as the whole thing went on.

He's still paying off the wedding that wasn't good enough. It was cringy hearing his comments as he got more and more drunk through the day. They had been idiots and given everyone lots of drink throughout the day but no food until 7pm at night... Though it was probably that the food had been ordered but been eaten by the guests the night before... At the "other" wedding.

The drunken sister of the groom staggered up and sang a very out of tune "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" at the reception. She fluffed half way through and had to start again.

Worst part of it was that the official wedding singer, who had just finished her set, was a well known West End star.

Lillyringlet

I don’t understand?

Who got married? The MOB on the day before her daughter?

Or MOB changed her daughter’s wedding to the previous day?l with two week’s notice?

Why/How did the B&H (or the venue) allow that to happen?

Why did they allow the plan to change from the original venue?

@Rainbowknickers

‘I did prepare some lines-but the groom snorted them...’

Bloody brilliant.

@SouringInferno I'm a bit confused too....

At a wedding of my parents' friends in the 80s. Groom was from a very wealthy family but very down to earth & lovely. Bride a really great lady.

Groom's family were Irish and so said the drinks were on them. You have your table number when you ordered.

When groom's brother got the tab at the end of the night it all kicked off. Some tables of the bride's colleagues had been ordering £££ champagne (bags to take home), multiple shots & cocktails etc. A massive fight ensued - men and women brawling. I was only 11 so a bit scared.

As we were waiting for our taxi the brother came over, apologised and gave me £20 and my parents a bottle of whisky for not taking the piss with our drinks.

This is small beer really compared to many of these anecdotes. I really dislike the readings delivered by people who can barely read, seem to have not really looked at or understood the reading and can’t make themselves heard. Why do the B&G do this? Cringeworthy.

Nervous groom got a bit confused about which hand was his left hand when asked to place his hand by the vicar during the service. FoTB shouts out "Rodney, you plonker" 😱

Same wedding, groom reads out speech from sheets of paper but should have used a larger sized font. Gets lost in middle of speech, bride has to stand up and help him out. Best man (grooms brother) then does a speech insulting pretty much everything about the groom including his intelligence (which was a bit close to the bone!)🤯

Various speeches at other weddings (FotB, Best man) with inappropriate jokes, including Welsh honeymoon destinations - "the groom is going to Bangor" that do not go down well with everyone in the audience. Was interesting when we were wedding planning to see suggested speech jokes on various websites and then notice them from either past weddings or ones we went to not long after. Lesson being, if you're not a comedian, stay away from using the internet to find jokes to put into speeches!

Someone earlier mentioned D.I.V.O.R.C.E. being played - I have heard that played at a wedding disco - just goes to show you shouldn't scrimp on your DJ...

I went to a wedding once where the vicar spent 10 mins (probably nearer 5 but felt a bloody lifetime as it was a cold church with hard seats) in the middle of the vows talking about how the bride looked like a Princess. The groom was not amused.

Another wedding....the bride was an hour late. Luckily we, and the groom, all knew her very well and she's incapable of being on time. We all bought hip flasks and were slaughtered by the time she turned up.

@SouringInferno the mob made them cancel their original plans 6 months before the date. Then two weeks before the wedding she told them she was getting married at their wedding venue the Friday night. They were getting married Saturday morning. Because everyone couldn't arrive until the guests had left, they had to move their wedding until noon.

She said she would pay for just under half of the new venue costs. She didn't pay for anything else though, from food, alcohol, waiting staff, flowers, photography, entertainment for the three days they had the venue.

Pulled a "I paid half, so now I'm getting married" and the bride having grown up with this behaviour all her life didn't think there was anything cheeky.

Then she didn't pay for her half of the venue as originally promised to "ensure her daughter had a dream wedding"...

Oh! So basically, her daughter and her h2b paid for HER wedding, as well as their own??!! That is the height of CFuckery!! What a nasty woman!

Thanks for clarifying @Lillyringlet

Wow, just wow.

I can actually understand the B being so caught up in FOG with a Narc Mother like that that she couldn’t stand up to her.

I really hope that was the last she and your UIL saw of her.

And @dexterslockedintheshedagain the B&G had to pay for the original wedding which the MOB made them cancel under the pretext of it ‘not being good enough’ when the reason clearly was because she had planned the whole shitshow from the start.

Some of these are hilarious! Ive been howling at the Morris Dancers and the brides mother being seen wiping her bum through the window!

Fabulous thread, but as a yank these bits jumped out at me

The evening buffet consisted of a bowl of scampi and some cucumber

The meal was tiny, tiny portions

I'm another who was at a buffet with the early queuers taking too much and with large amounts of people going hungry.

In the US if you under catered like this people would be referring to your event as "the hangry wedding" for decades. Weddings here are all about the food. If you need to economize you invite fewer guests or cut back on the flowers, etc. Nothing but prawns and cucumbers or tables of unfed guests would be a generational scandal.

@Lillyringlet and @SouringInferno
Thanks! I will never understand how some people can behave so badly

'And then the doors of the church will open and you'll see a vision of loveliness in white. That'll be me'.

I have to say, I do like a vicar with a sense of humour. The ceremony is pretty nerve wracking for the bride & groom so if any tension can be dispelled with laughter it can make things a lot easier and more fun.

Father of the bride gave a long speech that was more in the tone of a best man's speech. It included several stories about her getting drunk and passing out in various places.

But the worst was when he said "Living with three daughters and my wife, I was the only man in the house. So you could say I was pussy whipped."

Cue an audible gasp from every guest under 40.

I don't think that means what you think it means....

The wedding was otherwise lovely; the marriage proved long lasting and loving. But the groom tries to avoid visiting the in-laws as much as possible...

@DareDevil223 I’ve been to a wedding with a best man/brother telling a story about the groom shitting himself. Was the wedding in Chester?

Just remembered a similar thread on a wedding forum when we were wedding planning, so this story isn't one I personally saw. However someone on that posted about a wedding she went to in Scotland where the male members of the wedding party were all kilted up and later on during the evening reception one of the ushers (I think, though may have been the best man) sat on the bride's knee. When he got up, he'd left a large skid mark on the front of her white dress... 😱

Your going to be videoing the wedding yes?” I had no idea this was happening

I feel for you. I turned up as a guest at a destination wedding to find out I was doing the flowers. I had no idea either. And I’m not a florist.

#weathergirl11. That story is an urban legend. It's always doing the rounds :)

My sister’s wedding ran out of food. Her now ex in-laws did the catering. I asked her to ensure there would be something I could eat as I’m vegetarian. Bread and lettuce and not much of it. We’re a family who over cater so it was embarrassing. I went for a curry with my date in the evening.

She paid my back by walking over and standing on my wedding dress when she signed the register. She then turned to me and said “I didn’t know where I was supposed to sit”. It turned out the ushers has returned her to the second row three times as she kept wandering around the church. She also went to the pub and missed the bus to the reception venue and the family photos.

We also had to evacuate after the fire alarm went off due to flambé steaks.

My cousin and his wife renewed their vows after ten years of marriage during his wife’a 40th. His mother walked out. It’s 20 years next year so I hope she’s calmed down.