Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

@rookiemere I love holidays. I have just come back from a holiday. I think it is unsafe for very small children to go abroad. My parents did not bring me on holiday abroad until I was 8. Why bring a tiny baby so far away?

And I know that I am not the onky one with that opinion. When I was on that plane that I was talkig about- many people were saying " why do some parents bring babies abroad when they are that small"

@swingofthings
Yes but it’s paracetamol not knock out drops!
ie you can give it but won’t be effective immediately and for some individuals it’s not particularly good at relieving local pain from teething.

Eh, excuse my spelling - my phone is going mad

Mumsnet makes me laugh sometimes. So many posters telling the OP that she is BU for having a crying child in the proximity of others, but I'm sure the same posters would be saying "lighten up" to a poster complaining about neighbours having a party.

I’m in 110% agreement with you, @Lookingforadvice123

If my neighbours had a baby and I NEVER heard it cry I would actually be concerned. A baby that NEVER cries is concerning as it is not normal. Babies do not have language or “indoor voices” they communicate they have a need by crying.

“Training” a one year old to never make a sound or be awake outside if prescribed hours is NOT a good thing in my opinion. Running around shouting IS something you can reprimand a child for, crying in pain is not!

I had a pretty awful childhood but I’m glad I wasn’t the child of some PPs with their rigid “training”. Someone even referred to “chew toys” - I’ve only given those to animals!

So people shoujld keep theyre kids quiet in a holiday home but not on a plane like ive read-either theyre crying coz they cant help it or its bad behaviour

How can u tell a one year old to stop crying

^"I just think that I would not bring my child away on holiday when they are that small for so many reasons:
Planes stress them"^
Well, my son turned 2 recently and by now he's flown 8 times (4 return flights) and except for the one trip I mentioned he was never stressed.
Neither was my daughter ever stressed from flying in a plane.

"I personally don't think it is safe bringing a very small baby to a foreign country."
Why do you think it is unsafe for a baby to be in a country that's not their home country?

"They need so many things - they need to be in their home environment"

Please stop generalising! Your kids might need or have needed their home environment. Many children, mine included, certainly do/did not.

"Someone even referred to “chew toys” - I’ve only given those to animals!"

These are teething toys, what's wrong with them?

At 7am at a family holiday cottage in the school holidays.. I don't think there is anything wrong with that!

THIS ^

Babies cry - they teethe, they get over-tired, they feel off-colour, they just get arse-y sometimes and we don't know why.

7 am is NOT an unreasonable time - I agree that it's earlier than some people might want to be woken on their holidays, but if you book somewhere that says "children welcome" then you have to expect children's noise.

This is why I, a miserable ole trout who has done my time with kids, thank you very much, tend to prefer places where there are unlike to be children. But even so, I wouldn't consider a 7am "getty-up" unreasonable. You can always make a cuppa tea and go back to bed.

TBH, in a situation like this, where a small baby is involved, no-one can predict how much crying will be done - and even if it's all night, it may well be a PITA, but it just can't be helped.

YABU for expecting help.

YANBU for expecting a bit of tolerance and YANBU for leaving a review warning other parents.

OP:

Imo, you weren't unreasonable to expect that if a holiday cottage is described as being a place where "children" are "welcome" that people shouldn't mind about a bit of crying.

Maybe you were unreasonable to expect them to help you with your crying child.

And possibly to describe their reply to your bad review as "smug". Why was it "smug"?

@zzzzzzzz12345
So your age 5 child is downstairs making own snacks at 09.00am where were you?
Such utter rubbish

Some people get up early. Some people get up late. There's no right way you just do what works for you

Sure but don’t inflict your early morning routine in everyone else.

Family friendly means noise. If you are offering accommodation as family friendly then a bit of crying is the least you should expect. I hate the noise of other people's children but I would be prepared for it if I'd booked a family friendly room or cottage. Just let it go now, they are dicks xx

Ghanagirl - in bed? We put the snacks out. They eat them. They play quietly until we get up. The fact that this is an anathema to you shows how bloody awful parenting has become! At five theY are mor than capable of eating a banana and playing for an hour on their own.

If I went somewhere advertised as child friendly I'd expect noise. You shouldn't have apologised

@Jellybeansincognito
Teething hurts or is uncomfortable for most babies and toddlers.

@zzzzzzzz12345 but the only one inflicting their morning routine on anyone is the one year old. So yes, the one year old is being unreasonable. I find they generally are.

Teachermaths - we had a from clock from birth. Any time before 7am was night and treated as such and still is today. They were put back to bed after feed or whatever if the sun wasn’t up. Clearly they didn’t understand the clock at 6 months but they definitely grew to understand it before they could talk. They understood that if they cried before the sun came up they would e gently put back to bed, even if it was 6.59. It’s a principle, which so many parents just don’t get these days. Of course you can have rules, of course you can ask kids to do things that they wouldnt naturally do. We teach them to blend in with the world not the world to revolve around them. It’s these kids who get the biggest shock when they go to school and realise the world doesn’t revolve around them and teachers and other children don’t like them because they think they should be able to say jump and everyone yell ‘how high’.

We underestimate kids. Of course they can learn this stuff. They are intelligent beings and able to learn basic family rules. My kids are well adjusted, kind, considerate and popular with friends and teachers. This way of living gas only benefitted their development, rather than having hindered it.

I’m not saying my way is the only way but it’s certainly a way which works and creates nice human beings and parenthood which is for the most part relatively pleasant.

You are definitely not being unreasonable to post the review!! If you don't like it when babies cry then don't accept them in bookings!
If that was me I'd cut the trip short and ask for a refund.

Goodlookingcreature
You were inconsiderate and unreasonable to take the child away while he was teething and expecting everyone else to be okay with being kept awake

Seriously?! What nonsense.
Presumably OP has booked in advance for this trip. How on earth was she supposed to know if her DS will be teething?
30mins on and off is not that bad.

My toddler had a tummy bug so was vomiting and crying for two hours at 2am, they would’ve hated us staying!!

Some people on this thread are perfect parents! I am never irritated by a crying baby - once I don't have to deal with it I don't mind!

I hate the sound of babies crying. I hate the company of small children.

I holiday in adults only places.

Ds has been screaming and howling at all hours of the day and night with an ear infection and antibiotics complications. They would have loved being near us the last couple of weeks.