Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

“ Should have” - sorry guys but I see “ should of” so often & it’s not right! And please no retorts like “ Oh it’s the grammar police”!

^"I was just on a plane with a baby screaming at the top of his lungs for two hours.

I think, if you have a baby:
You should not bring them on holiday when they are that small"^

Early this year I was on holiday with my then 18 months old toddler. It was a two hour flight and on the way back he screamed like hell for approximately one of them.

I flew with him when he was 9 months (approx. 2,5 hours), 15 months (approx. 4,5 hours) and then the trip to the destination at 18 months. The first four flights were perfectly fine, he cried for a total of maybe 5 minutes (all flights combined). During his fifth flight, the one to our destination, he screamed for about 10 minutes at the beginning and again about 10 minutes at the end. And then the mentioned 1 hour on the way back.
So you think I should have known that he will be like that, and not taken him on holidays? I understand a screaming child is annoying, however, as a parent you can't necessarily know that beforehand.

If you want to have peace and quiet next to other people, bring ear plugs.

It’s difficult. I personally didn’t go on holiday when mine were babies/toddlers. Saved money and didn’t have the associated stress.

Once I took a flight and there was an 18mo crying behind me. Across the aisle, there was another 18mo (different family) puking. Because they were under 2, the poor parents had to have them on their laps as under 2s don’t have their own seats. Nothing anyone can do. Apart from not go.

I can’t say the managers in your case were too unreasonable. People don’t want to be disturbed by a child crying at 7am on holiday. But, as well, there’s really nothing you can do about it if you’ve tried giving calpol and comforting them. Lose lose situation!

I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help

Why should they offer to help you? Nothing worse than someone’s noisy kid ruining everyone else’s good time!

What you need to do OP is change evolution, so that all people are either born aged 21, or born mute, until they are 21. Only this would accommodate all of the ridiculous suggestions that somehow when a child is on a "holiday" it must BE QUIET, even if in accommodation quoted as "family friendly". Because clearly they didn't mean YOUR family

Spot on.😁😁

Wtf, YANBU OP.

It's advertised as family friendly and the holiday cottages are right next to each other, so the type of people who are going to be pissy about a toddler crying would book a holiday they'd book somewhere else.

The owners were rude, is it through a booking agency or private? Usually you could put in a claim for a partial refund for that kind of treatment.

Ignore the miserable gits on this thread. A toddler crying at 7am for half an hour is hardly the end of the world ffs.

If I'd been woken all through the night because of a crying/screaming baby, I'd be bloody pissed off, ratty, arsey, and dog-tired, having had my nights 's sleep ruined.

What I would also feel is sorry for the baby and parents coping with that and all the fucking horrible judgemental pressure theyd be getting on top

How does crying baby equate to 'permissive parenting' - how judgey and shitty frankly, and yes, clearly you must think a pillow would be the answer, as if a baby is in pain it cries, and even when its not.

Think it's shit that your dc have such enforced routines tbh.

What you state zzzzz is that this has become their 'normal'. For some, being locked up all day is 'normal' and they get extremely anxious going outside, it doesnt mean that locking up is good, that argument just doesn't hold water.

You are looking for evidence in the wrong places and extremely self righteous

Based on what OP has told us, which is all we have to go on without making up shit she was poorly treated in a hard situation. Dont blame her for her review, it isn't a child friendly place.

I want to know where it is so I can avoid it!

But how do you know when your baby is going to cry? Also on a plane I can see that it would be annoying on a night flight, but other than that a baby cries on a daytime flight for 2 hours - so what ?
And even if you did decide not to go abroad and stay in a cottage in the Uk well what happens if your baby is teething ?

I wouldn’t like to listen to someone else’s child screaming and crying, and I’d expect the person I paid to sort it. Book an adults only place then. Jeez, it's a bit annoying, but the child cried for a short period of time while they cut a tooth. It's not the end of the world!

They’re a pair of idiots. A lot of people seem to think babies are dollies and you can turn them on and off.
How do you or rather can you stop a baby crying with bloody tooth ache. I’ve literally screamed with it before now and I’m 43 years of age.
It’s hard enough try to settle them with other people adding to it. Did he come out with a full set of teeth or something. .
It’d be interesting to see if he would have pulled up a gang of young lads for getting drunk and rowdy. The way he did a mother with distressed baby.

I’d expect the person I paid to sort it.

And how exactly do you suggest they do that.

"We trained our children to sleep later"

HAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAHHHAHAHA! WTF?

Mumsnet is weird. OP, YANBU. You booked a child friendly holiday, although apparently it seems that it's UR to go on holiday at all with young children. Or indeed anywhere in public for fear of offending people who want peace and quiet in public places.

For those asking what help the OP expected - the owner's attention was brought to a crying child. If a child is crying enough to merit a complaint in an apparently child friendly environment then I'd expect the first point of contact to include some enquiry into the welfare of the child and parent, before launching into a complaint about noise. The offer of help would be included in that, you know, "is there anything we can do?" "does the child need a dr/ there's a pharmacy in x direction". Simple offers of assistance to a parent with a child in enough pain to cause a disturbance.

Mumsnet is getting worse.

All those saying. It’d piss me off. Yes no one likes the sound of a baby crying, but Did none of yours cry. If they didn’t what was your secret, because I’m sure a lot of stressed out tired mums would love to know

@pinkyredrose 😂 good

The owners are trying to have their cake and eat it.
Saying they are family friendly but don't like kids crying. Kids cry!

@SmartPlay I just think that I would not bring my child away on holiday when they are that small for so many reasons:
Planes stress them
I personally don't think it is safe bringing a very small baby to a foreign country. They need so many things - they need to be in their home environment

They're far from family friendly if they object to babies crying! You might have saved someone else from a similar experience for posting your review.

My dds as babies didn’t cry all that often, but I remember some horrendous times when teething, when nothing really helped, when either they refused to swallow the Calpol, or it didn’t dent the pain.

I don’t understand how a place can be child friendly if they get arsey about a baby crying for half an hour ! How stressful to be on holiday, a baby in pain, and the owner having a go at you.

We have had toddler meltdowns on holiday, a migraine with vomiting (as we were trying to pack and leave, my poor dd had to sit in the car with a bucket) , teething that came out of the blue etc etc. Each time we have luckily been away from other houses, apart from one holiday when dd went into full on tantrum mode, and the owner lived opposite.

Things happen with children that are out of our control.

Angell84 babies really don't need to be in the same place all the time and can cope very well with different surroundings particularly if they are getting lots of attention from a more relaxed DM and DP. What if you have a number of DCs - should you not go in holiday until the youngest is no longer a baby ( whatever age that's deemed to be). I'm guessing you're one of those people who don't really like holidays anyway.

Quite frankly it was a lot easier and more enjoyable to take DS on holiday when he was a baby rather than a mardy teen as he is now.

do think that parents need to be a bit more respectful of other people around them. If you bring a small baby on a flight - stop to think that you are ruining that flight for hundreds of other people. Mothers don't ever seem to stop to think that so they? It is quite selfish. On the plane I was on - the baby screamed non stop for two hours. People in rows all around the mother glared at her, but she was completely oblivious. Alot of people got up and asked to be moved into different seats - it was that bad

Could she have been oblivious because she was, perhaps, dealing with a screaming baby? Your entire steam of posts is hilarious tbf, yeah, mother's, selfish bitches the lot of em l, procreating and then having the fucking audacity to fancy a holiday

Have you all lost your minds?

Some people get up early. Some people get up late. There's no right way you just do what works for you

Babies cry, children make noise, people have parties. It's annoying but it's not unreasonable or inconsiderate it's just life! How do you all have so much energy to be so offended all the time?

It's ok because zzzzzzzz12345's kids have somehow understood a gro clock from being newborn none of us mortals will ever achieve such good parenting.

YANBU.

Tbh you shouldn't have apologised and for the posters who have replied saying kids shouldn't be crying etc.

I personally think that if you're an asshole who hates kids crying or want complete silence, save up, and go rent a secluded villa or cottage where you won't have neighbours!

You aren't guaranteed silence with neighbours.

I’m the first to have a whinge about noise. Which is why, pre-children, we wouldn’t book anywhere described as family friendly and usually actively sought out adults only places. But to complain about a baby crying for 30 minutes at 7am in a family friendly-advertised property really makes you a special kind of dickhead.

That said, “they could have asked if we needed any help” is a bit of a weird response too.

A baby crying for half an hour from teething, while not pleasant for anyone, is reasonable noise from a family.

If the owners and other residents don't want to hear unavoidable family noise, they shouldn't advertise/ go to places described as family friendly.

I tend to camp, so I have to acknowledge that sound travels. Some noise is not exactly welcome, but when you can hear parents dealing with it, you just have to accept it as part of the territory. Different to the permissive parents allowing kids to run ferral at any time. If I wanted proper quiet, I'd be booking a secluded, well built, detached cottage (and hoping for no church bells or roosters )