Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

Teachermaths - we had a from clock from birth. Any time before 7am was night and treated as such and still is today.

What an odd way to behave. You can't live in a commuter belt because half my neighbours are up, revving up their cars and driving to the station at any time from 6 am.

Even this morning I heard my neighbours leave at around 5.30am with 2 DCs age 1 and 5, heading (I think) to the coast for the day.

Their car woke me but I did doze off for an hour or so.

They understood that if they cried before the sun came up they would e gently put back to bed, even if it was 6.59

so what happens in summer when the sun comes up at 4am?

They understood that if they cried before the sun came up they would e gently put back to bed, even if it was 6.59

I think this borders on possibly abusive , and certainly eccentric and controlling, behaviour.

You'd make a child who was awake, full of beans and ready for the day to get back into bed for 1 minute. Seriously?

As I say, most people I know who travel for work are out of the house far earlier than you even surface.

What a relaxed life you clearly led.

Are some here suggesting that babies get closer confined to qtrs along with their DMs whilst keeping a pillow to hand on case any noises escape??

You could be in the shops, on a bus, in an airport queue, on a plane, in your own home with those around you rising for work at 6 and earlier.

Just how ridiculous and intolerant some are towards our young and their own

Ban babies from the world is some's attitude. Exclude family life.

We already discriminate widely against children as a group, they get shitty menu options, rock hard seats to sit on in cars that no adult would tolerate, excluded from family occasions like weddings, and given scant consideration in general social meeting up places, including being bf.

I was in a very mixed queue of parents/others when one of mine decided they were thirsty and wouldn't let up. The attitudes ranged from oh poor love come to the front of the queue, to take your screaming kid away (like a bad smell). We ended up on that occasion in the toilet for a bf. Just lovely.

This is how some women (and others) treat other women and babies. Just gross

We live on a main road and a very noisy swing bridge. Local noise becomes white noise.

We have black out blinds behind curtains. Genius invention.

Jingling - don’t be utterly silly. You undermine any veracity in your argument by such a ridiculous statement. It’s simply parenting. If you have a rule which you break at 659 when the sun isn’t up (face shows moon for night, sun for day) then it undermines the rule. They don’t know it’s 659 at a year, but they do know the difference between the moon and sun faces so even at 659, it’s back to bed. It works, it’s a bloody revelation to parental exhaustion. It’s a priceless tool available very cheaply, but requires active parenting to make it work.

Disbelieve, laugh, throw insults, do whatever you like. We have had lie ins every weekend since they were (very happy, well slept) babies so I feel like the winner here.

Would you be complaining too if teenagers play loud music when your baby is sleeping?

@smotheroffive I have no problem whatsoever with children screaming in cafes, shops, public places etc. I can choose to leave.
I do think it is selfish to bring a very young baby on a four hour flight, it is bad for the baby, and it is horrible for all of the other passengers who cannot escape!
I wouldn't do it.

And we both have massive jobs. No easy life here thanks.

I live in an apartment. Above me is a holiday let. I dread the summer holidays when we are going to have families staying. About a third of the families you would not even know they are there, but the rest of them appear to let their children run and up and down screaming constantly, parents shouting at the kids, jump off furniture, furniture being dragged across the floor, hoovering at midnight, jumping off their bunk beds which is above my DD's room until all hours, it sounds like there is a herd of elephants about to come through our ceiling. It beats me also why come on holiday, and spend all day in an apartment with the kids cooped up? There is a beach literally 2 minutes away.

Being a reasonable person and a Mum myself, I initially give them the benefit of the doubt - if they don't live in an apartment normally they are not to know how loud they are to the people living below, despite the holiday let company putting information at my request into their welcome pack about being considerate to the people living below and around their holiday home. Initially I will go upstairs and ask them politely if they could stop whatever noise it is - their children running up and down and jumping off furniture, hoovering at midnight etc, as it is extremely noisy for us as a family who live in the apartment below, and have to get up early for school/work - I invite them to come down and hear it for themselves (none have taken me up on it). This is usually greeted with a blank stare, sometimes a shrug and a response along the lines of "but we are on holiday, what are we supposed to do?" "we've paid a lot of money to stay here, the kids are just having fun" etc. etc. and the noise carries on. Occasionally there is an apology and a clear improvement in noise levels. I past years I have made repeated requests to the people staying their with no improvement and if anything an escalation in the noise, probably to "teach me a lesson".

After four years of this, they now get one polite request. If they don't stop the noise levels we respond with some very loud anti social noise of our own, bearing in mind we get up at 6am for work, sadly that is the only thing which appears to get them to lower their noise levels and be more considerate. It is almost like because they are on holiday, so don't have to give a shit about anyone else and their kids just do whatever they want with no consideration for others. Sheer entitlement on the parent's side.

The example given however, of a distressed and crying teething baby, I would not complain about, and would feel sympathy for the parent and speak to them if I saw them in passing about whether they needed anything, ie calpol, chemist, GP etc.

Can't believe how nasty some people are . That toddler is a person .. who was In pain because of their tooth it was a random thing just like if an elderly person had a fall and shouted shouting for help Can't be helped and of course I would say to someone is there anything I can do to help and most likely mum would have said no but an offer is nice ... even if it's helping you to pack up the car ready to go out or distracting the toddler for abit and just simply saying hello to the human being ! Some people on here forget toddlers are human beings . Be kind !

Here is an article written by a journalist.
I don't see how mother's don't see that aeroplanes are a terrible environment to put a small child in. They will have had to be around thousands of strangers in an airport, queue for hours, then sit with hundreds of strangers in a confined space, that hurts their ears. You should not bring small children on a plane!

Article:
That situation reminded me of when I was aboard the aircraft on a transatlantic flight from Europe to the United States back in 2015 during which a little boy behaved incredibly badly: he was screaming demands at the top of his lungs to his clueless parents; running up and down the aisles in a corybantic manner; hitting, kicking and stepping on other people; and tearing off his clothes and diaper while proudly announcing to fellow passengers that he was naked.

He was not adorable by any means.

I can only think of one of two reasons to explain the horrendous behavior which was exhibited by the child: either he has a physical or mental issue which adversely affected his behavior; or the mother and father were simply that bad — perhaps to the point where they might be deemed unfit to be parents.

In either case, the family should not have been aboard the airplane. Even more inexcusable than the behavior of that boy was the behavior of his parents on this particular flight. It is wholly unfair to subject fellow passengers to consecutive hours of constant misery — and there are people who consider the simple act of being a passenger aboard an airplane for hours miserable enough.

The inside of an airplane is an unnatural environment to many children, as it can be confining with not much to do. It is not surroundings with which they are familiar. It is difficult to sit still for so many hours. As a bonus, the change in air pressure can wreak havoc on the ears of a child…

These are teething toys, what's wrong with them?

Teething rings etc are fine but I would never describe it as a chew toy!

YANBU

Hope your little one is now feeling much better. I entirely sympathise. I know it's hard trying to comfort a poorly little one who is teething. I can however also see the point of view from people around you who may have been disturbed.

If guests are not prepared to pay for a detached cottage they shouldn't complain about normal noise.

End of.

My son has chew toys. They are for children who require oral sensory input and chew toy is what they are called.

@angell84 Why are you getting so off on children in planes? And what does such an extreme example like in that article have to do with the vast majority of children and their parents on planes?
And what does all this have to do with a teething toddler in a cottage?

If you don't want to take your children on planes, don't do it. If you don't want to fly in a plane with children as passengers, don't fly in a plane or get a private jet.

"Teething rings etc are fine but I would never describe it as a chew toy!"

Does it matter what you call them? They are for chewing.

Such a lot of poop and nonsense.

Not sure why it was pertinent to post an article about a different aged boy whom parents could not manage well.

I, and many I know travel frequently with young ones. Have you been inside a playscape, with ball pits slides and screaming, yelling and crying toddlers and youngsters everywhere, does this damage their ears then, as I certainly cant hear myself talk?!

Its certainly not the majority. You are pointing out an article which focuses on parents and their lack of action.

Not all dc are suited to flying, certainly not for great lengths, that does not require a demand for a blanket ban.

Jeez this thread has some extreme views!

Certainly there are permissive parents whose dc seem to get away with anything, but OP has nothing in it to suggest this so why has it brought out all this vitriol?

I highly doubt it was only 30 minutes. You shouldn't expect other people to ask if you 'need help'. You should have apologised

I highly doubt it was only 30 minutes

So now you dont believe OP. So dont reply, and go do something else, blimey.

Why stop at that. Maybe OP doesn't even have DC, maybe she was up screaming at 7, and maybe its a reverse, or whatever, but just don't post purely to accuse OP of lying and false representations.

I’m laughing that an ad for hearing aids keeps popping up whilst I’m on this thread!

I would suspect that there's more to this that meets the eye and would be interested in the perspective of the other holiday makers. I don't think anybody would ask you to keep the reasonable crying of a baby down and find it quite hard to believe that this was the sum total of it. The fact that you think people should have come to ask if they could help makes me think that you feel entitled ... I do think, like some others, that at 7am,if your baby couldn't be settled, it was on you to take them out, maybe a walk in the pram or a drive in the car. The same if a baby cries overnight on that kind of holiday. It's not your fault or the baby's fault but you should do everything possible not to inconvenience other holidaymakers who have also paid for their relaxing break. Some noise is to be expected but I suspect that the other holidaymakers would have had more sympathy had you taken your baby out rather than inflicting the noise on everyone else.

Sorry, seen you did go out at 8am. I think maybe one of you could have taken baby out earlier whilst everyone got ready.

I find mumsnetters hilarious.

This is supposed to be a forum for mother's, and / or parents.
Yet you have people here that are deluded about how babies of a year old should be behaving.
Absolutely hilarious.