Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

I'm actually pissing myself at the idea of saying to toddle ds "now we are on holiday sweetie. Therefore we lay in until 9am - ok?."

He's 15yo now and I've still not gained control of his body clock

Some of the comments here, lol!

I think you were absolutely right to leave that review as I would not want to visit somewhere that falsely advertises as being child-friendly when it is not.

YANBU, if other people want a holiday guaranteed to be child/other people free, then they need to book a detached property in the middle of nowhere. Not somewhere which is presumable advertised as child friendly, or at the very least accepts children. Also, wtf is this Adults with Aspergers & misophonia have a really hard time coping with this sort of noise & they are not going to enjoy their holiday if this is part of it. Ultimately it is about consideration for all. Im autistic, please dont use our condition to excuse arseholeishness! I can deal with a crying baby, however unpleasant, because im not an arsehole. And ive the gumption to realise that sometimes babys cry and there is nothing you can do about it. And if a baby crying was getting to me to the point of not being able to cope with it, id do what i can to remedy my discomfort, i.e. ear defenders or go out. Not expect the baby to somehow magically stop crying. Honestly people can be such entitled arseholes when it comes to giving a bit of sympathy and compassion to a greeting baby.

That's so awful. What a mean owner. I bet that ruined your holiday. Going out at 8am so as not to disturb others, bless! Of course you shouldn't feel bad, even if your baby way crying all night and day. Id have left a way worse review with certainly NO apology.
I don't understand why people think reviews should only be good.

• I don’t disagree with you there. But being tolerant is difficult when absolutely no effort is being made by a parent to control their children. And that’s the issue here: was it just the OPs child crying or was it part of a bigger picture of a selfish parental set up? We’ll never know. If it was just half an hour crying with all reasonable attempts to placate then no, she wasn’t being unreasonable. On the basis of the owners request, backed up by other holiday makers saying it’s a welcoming place for reasonable parents, I suspect there is more to this story than meets the eye. That’s all.

Sorry that was I don’t disagree with fullyhuman.

People are moronic- you can’t reason a child to stop crying ffs! It’s holiday period, go away in term time if you can’t handle the basics of children

I don't think you did anything wrong although I don't get your comment about them asking if you needed help. Would you really want a complete stranger to come into where you were staying and somehow help you with your family? If I was trying to comfort a crying baby the last thing I would want is a stranger knocking on my door and offering to help.

I find it very interesting than the naysayers resort to throwing insults. Smacks of defensiveness.

Yanbu. It's not like you were sleep training your child and leaving him to cry, in fact I bet you weren't leaving him at all but were trying to comfort him. We know how painful toothache is as adults so imagine how babies feel. The owner was definitely being rude and a cow. I hate hearing babies cruy (maternal instinct) and I hate when parents leave them cry, how can anyones first reaction at hearing a little one cry be annoyance?

If we're filling in gaps based on speculation, it was one reviewer who said the place was fine, and it could've been the owner pretending as easily as it could've been a genuine guest. We'll never know, and if we're giving house room to speculation about not having the full story, there is more than one plausible possibility.

Isn't it what you expect at a place like that? If you want quiet you book somewhere in the middle of nowhere, not somewhere that welcomes families.
I don't book where pets are accepted as I hate dogs and their mess/noise.

itsacrazyworld you're making a lot of assumptions about me.

I have the solution.

What you need to do OP is change evolution, so that all people are either born aged 21, or born mute, until they are 21. Only this would accommodate all of the ridiculous suggestions that somehow when a child is on a "holiday" it must BE QUIET, even if in accommodation quoted as "family friendly". Because clearly they didn't mean YOUR family.

I’m seriously conscious of my DC affecting other people’s lives so will always try to prevent them crying/screaming/shouting in public as much as possible. It is hard though, sometimes there’s nothing you can do at all and it sounds like this was one of those cases.

I suppose all you could have done is left the cottage within 5/10 minutes of him screaming. I think when places advertise themselves as being child friendly it doesn’t mean baby/toddler friendly. They mean older children who are generally quieter I reckon.

@DishingOutDone amazing 😂

@swingofthings You seem to have reading troubles - the child did not cry for 30 minutes non stop, it cried on and off for 30 minutes. But yes, I do think if you don't even wait for 30 minutes before medicating it's too early, since you first obviously should try other ways to soothe the pain.

No need to feel sorry for my children, they are perfectly fine and won't grow up with the desire to pop a pill for every little squeeze.

I'd take a crying child away from the cottages. There are usually communal areas. Failing which a nice buggy walk.

What if there is nowhere to walk? All the holiday cottages I have stayed in were not conducive to.walking a buggy due to the local roads.

Ops baby not older child but baby started crying at 7 she was out the door at 8 that's pretty good going when you are trying to get ready while also trying to comfort a child in pain.
No baby in pain and clearly upset is going to just stop crying just because it's told to! Op probably initialy thought she could stop him by various methods then decided to just go out earlier than.planned. Packing up to take a baby out for the day is a pia to remember everything you need. It's not a 2minute job.
Babies cry. Anyone who doesn't get this is living in lala land. If you don't want to hear babies crying buy a remote house and never leave.

The amount of criticism lobbed at op for daring to.go anywhere with a baby and the elaborating of what actually happened in order to turn her into some stereotype entitled parent is laughable considering the amount of adults who are practically insisting that they never want to hear anyone close to them make a sound as it disturbs them. Its all about them apparently and what they want everyone else to do to accommodate them.

I was just on a plane with a baby screaming at the top of his lungs for two hours.

I think, if you have a baby:
You should not bring them on holiday when they are that small

I’m annoyed for you OP - what a rude woman. It just adds to the stress of an already stressful situation when your baby is crying and there is little you can do for them.

You were incredibly respectful to leave early to avoid greater disturbance.

Wow of course babies cry and always at the wrong time. I remember a bus journey with DS he screamed the whole way even with me comforting him. Family friendly means you are going to hear kids ffs. I have been to holiday parks and listened to babies cry on and off all night. We all in the same boat here!

I do think that parents need to be a bit more respectful of other people around them. If you bring a small baby on a flight - stop to think that you are ruining that flight for hundreds of other people. Mothers don't ever seem to stop to think that so they? It is quite selfish. On the plane I was on - the baby screamed non stop for two hours. People in rows all around the mother glared at her, but she was completely oblivious. Alot of people got up and asked to be moved into different seats - it was that bad

I really don't think that I would bring a small screaming baby on holiday.
Or at least if I did - I would have an awareness that it is going to annoy people around me

No one glared at the mother on the plane, thinking, she should stop the baby crying.

They glared at her because they were thinking " why on earth did you bring such a tiny baby on holiday!"

" If you say the same thing, weekend in, weekend out, it becomes the rule, even with the most challenging child (mine was and is pretty challenging)."

It doesn't sound like you have any experience of a most challenging child.