Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

Jellybean
I made the comment, you responded to it. You seem very unaware of your own behaviour tbh.

Were you aware your post was deleted?

there is absolutely no scientific evidence that backs this up, ive asked more than one dentist who also agrees it doesn’t hurt.

How can something breaking it’s way through your gum NOT hurt?

If it doesn’t hurt how come paediatricians refer to teething pain?

I think it depends how the owner asked. I don't think there is anything wrong with him politely asking if there is anyway you could keep the noise down TBH. Some people don't even try to minimise the noise from their crying babies and for all the owner knew you could have been one of those people.
BTW I know some people don't care how much their crying babies disturb other people as we have had them stay in our house 😭😭😭
If he was rude when he asked them that's another matter.

We have been asked to keep our kids quiet in a hotel once and I simply apologised and tried to ensure the kids were as quiet as possible. I didn't take offence or get indignant about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

"I think it depends how the owner asked. I don't think there is anything wrong with him politely asking if there is anyway you could keep the noise down TBH."

Sure, but the OP also wrote: "I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise"

Gro-clocks are useful, we used one when night weaning dc3.

One day they will be teenagers and you are unfortunate lucky if you see them before midday.

I've now googled for teething pains and found this: www.independent.ie/life/family/mothers-babies/is-teething-just-a-myth-31458063.html

"Getting teeth is as natural as growing hair, skin or nails. If you know how the body works then the idea of 'teething pain' doesn't make sense. Why would the body have been designed or evolved to make a natural process painful? Natural selection has made us this way, we're made to have teeth,"

Well, I guess labour pains are a myth too then.

I don’t have direct links on my phone but I’m sure with a google you could find the actual studies.

sciencebasedmedicine.org/separating-fact-from-fiction-in-pediatric-medicine-infant-teething/

Interesting reading.

The sheer fact that people reach for homeopathic remedies and say they work when it concerns teething tells you a lot.

I believe science over homeopathy.

This is unacceptable to me TBH.Most holiday properties will include children esp during 6 week summer break!.Sound like she is very unreasonable .Unless its teenagers having an all nighter or a couple having a loud argument,Some noise is to be expected really .I think you have left a fair review. and other people with young children may think twice .Serves her right!

@SmartPlay that’s a bit silly to compare teething pain to labour pains.

"that’s a bit silly to compare teething pain to labour pains."

I did not compare the pain, I pointed out the absolute stupidity of the argument.

I wouldn't apologise to someone who was in the wrong for complaining in the first place.

Period pains must also be a myth.

SmartPlay - You simply can not compare the two.

It would be stupid to, that doesn’t dismiss the fact that there isn’t a pain correlation with teething.

Do you not find it a bit odd that people use homeopathy on their teething kids and say it works?

Yes the sound of a baby crying can be annoying if not your own especially on holiday but really how do you shut up a one year old? Also unless you booked the holiday at short notice how would the OP know her lo was teething? Are they not supposed to go away till the baby is 3 and has most of it's baby teeth? You were right to leave the review and I would have done the same apart from the offering help bit. The idea that op should be taking her baby out at 7am to try and soothe it is daft unless that is a method that normally calms your baby down?

@Jellybeansincognito I just told you I don't compare the pain, why do you come up with it again? This dentist's argument was, that teething is natural, therefore it can't hurt. And this is obviously stupid.

Your question about homeopathy: Teething pains are usually not constant pains - they come and go. So parents who believe in homeopathy would probably think their little sugar marbles eradicated the pain, when it just went by itself.

The other thing to remember that if you were in the adjoining property and had been awoken by a screaming toddler you may be demanding a refund. Accepting children doesn't mean you can ruin the next persons holiday, you grab your stuff and go for a walk. I've sat in hotel lobbies, even the car trying to reason withy asd dd to avoid disturbing the people either side of us - premier inn have family rooms but that doesn't give you a right to be noisy.

Btw @Jellybeansincognito ... in the link you provided it does not say there is no such thing as teething pain. It just plays down the pain, calling it "discomfort" - which, depending on the child, can be very painful. Just as adults, children perceive the same pain differently. What's nothing for some, can be very painful to others. So call it "crying due to teething discomfort" instead of "crying due to teething pain", if it makes you feel better.

Jellybeansincognito might be right, my DD5 has two adult teeths growing behind her baby teeths, so they had to pierce the gum, and she says it doesn’t hurt at all.

As the parent of a non verbal child we have encountered 'he cannot be in pain" when we know he is, on numerous occasions.

"Jellybeansincognito might be right, my DD5 has two adult teeths growing behind her baby teeths, so they had to pierce the gum, and she says it doesn’t hurt at all."

Oh, sure, so because your child doesn't feel any pain at 5 years old, teething pain in babies and toddlers must clearly be a myth.

Btw: Pains while breastfeeding are just made up, because I breastfed and it didn't hurt.
Also, fever or generally feeling unwell after vaccinations is a myth, spread by pharma companies, because my son never had any troubles after a shot.

If someone is demanding a refund in that kind of place because of crying between 7 and 7.30am, they're a complete idiot and the owner would be well within their rights to tell them to sling their hook.

If teething pain isn't real can someone explain why my baby who definitely has a tooth coming through cries when he is eating as the tooth comes in, refuses to breastfeed in a certain position. Why he was crying last night. Why these things always happen when he is teething. Even though he is a happy baby once the tooth breaks through?

Half an hour of crying at 7am on one day? They were being unreasonable and ridiculous. I think on your review you should have stated that was how much he cried. That's nothing!

We had a gro clock but I found it fairly pointless. Generally early waking is an age thing and improves. It's quite handy when they go to school and are up on the dot of 6 (lucky PP only needing to get up at 8!) Anyway, YANBU as it will be useful for parents of other babies to have this info. You only reported the truth. I had to review a service honestly recently (great product, poor delivery arrangements and communication) and got a stroppy, public, response from the vendor. Not much point seeking feedback if you can't handle any negativity. And I won't be shopping with them again.

Reading some of the responses on here I can only think that the world has gone.mad. Does it really matter why the child was crying?. Isn’t it enough to just accept that he was, and that this was the only time the owner had cause to complain to OP about his noise during the rest of her stay.

Its hard to believe that the vast majority of posters have, or have had children of their own. Please don’t try and tell me that yours never cried. It’s what babies and toddlers do on occasion. I can’t believe either that you would be asking for a refund if you had one night disturbed in a holiday cottage by a crying child - but then again it seems that there are a lot of people who think it’s fair game to claim for anything if there’s a chance of them getting something for free..

If it had been me and what the OP says is true I would have been upset that my parenting had been called into question and left thinking that the owner was extremely intolerant and wondering what she would have done in similar circumstances. I can’t think of one acceptable way that would instantly bring silence and settle a child in discomfort but then again I don’t profess to be mother of the year, which perhaps she was.

By the time I arrived home after the holiday the incident may still have preying on my mind, but I don’t think I would have bothered writing.
a trip adviser review. If she was as draconian as OP says she won’t get many repeat bookings.

Wow I didn't expect so many replies!!

I haven't read through them all yet but want to answer a common question before I read on:

It is regarding what help I expected.

In my review I wrote: perhaps next time when you have a crying baby, you could approach the parent asking if they require any help. This way the parent will be made aware other people can hear their child without being made to feel absolutely terrible.

So I didn't actually expect any help from her. Was just trying to offer another way to approach the situation. As I feel if I was approached with more compassion and less blame then I probably would have responded differently and not left the review 😊. It was the way she assumed I was ignoring him and that's why he was crying which is what bothered me.

Going to continue reading now 😁