Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

Pineapple - believe me, the feeling is all too mutual.

Well, all I can say is never holiday next to us. 30 minutes on and off crying from a baby pales into insignificance when it is an autistic meltdown.

But you know after a week we will be gone, your lives will continue as they were and we will take all that noise and trouble back home to continue living with.

Our lives are hard enough as it is, don't take our holidays from us.

But OP YANBU at all.

@angell84
I was just on a plane with a baby screaming at the top of his lungs for two hours.

I think, if you have a baby:
You should not bring them on holiday when they are that small
Maybe she was visiting her family abroad.

My adult brother is severely autistic. Throughout his life he's made lots of noise (happy and unhappy) on holidays. But we live in a society, some people make more noise than others, it often can't be helped.

If you need zen-like quiet seek it out, don't book your holiday in a family friendly attached setting. There are many adults only places or detached cottages that will offer you a quiet holiday.

Our kids have had their gro clock on for 8am at weekends since birth. They’ve never questioned it.

What a load of old shite. I'm sure your three-month-old baby woke up, looked the clock and said 'whoops, it isn't time for me to get up yet, better go back to sleep!'

(Sorry if that's already been discussed, I was RFFT but saw that and could continue no longer, such was the absurdity. Going back to continue reading now)

See previous detailed posts explaining the practice. And as negate, be as dismissive as you like but we slept five while our kids were young because we imposed appropriate boundaries and played the parent at 530am rather than playing the martyr.

@angell84

No one glared at the mother on the plane, thinking, she should stop the baby crying.

They glared at her because they were thinking " why on earth did you bring such a tiny baby on holiday!"
So you made a mother with a young baby feel bullied by glaring at her alongside others.
You must feel good about yourself.

zzzz who mentioned 530 am ? Baby woke at 7am not the middle of the night.

If they aren't child friendly they shouldn't say they are. Before I had kids there was no way I would stay anywhere that said ' child friendly' if there were other holiday cottages near mine ( in fact even with my own kids I won't book in these places). If you don't want to hear kids cry don't book in a row of 'child friendly' holiday cottages.
Babies cry and toddlers tantrum, and small children kick off. If they don't want that in their holiday cottages don't say child friendly. The owner was very rude in her reply.

zzzz It isn't your way or up at 5.30am.

I have 3 children, I have responded differently to all of them, but have never started that day before 6.

@angell84

@SmartPlay I just think that I would not bring my child away on holiday when they are that small for so many reasons:
Planes stress them
I personally don't think it is safe bringing a very small baby to a foreign country. They need so many things - they need to be in their home environment
You sound like you don’t have children and possibly quite young.
Are parents supposed to wait to some magical age before getting on a plane?
Babies cry on buses trains etc so are you supposed to just stay at home?

My day never started at 530 am either when DS was small - although this is because I cannot function with less than 7 hrs sleep rather than any magical parenting or gifted baby able to interpret glo clock from birth.

I fail to see what it's got to do with a crying baby on a fairly short flight and a teething one at 7 am, but apparently to some these things are linked.

swingofthings OP may have given Calpol, I haven't seen her say but it doesn't stop all pain, it will relieve it. It's not a sedative so the baby would have probably continued crying. And of course, I used it and my children are offered tablets now - you completely missed my point.

If 6am is when you get up anyway then that’s cool. My comments are aimed at those people who refuse to accept that kids can be taught to sleep later. The times are irrelevant - change to suit you and your family/work/proclivities - but dismissing the idea that it’s possible shows how parenting has ended up with the tail wagging the dog.

We have digressed from the OP on this point. I’m responding to other posters.

OP, you have a teething toddler, they will make noise.
Owner complains about noise.
Apologise for noise.
Move on.

Instead you took the Passive Aggressive route of leaving a snide review. YOU disturbed others (no matter how much comforting/walking etc, the very bottom line is that your family's noise disturbed others) and yet somehow, you make it their fault.

The second review was probably a sock puppet.

I would respond accusing them of that. There was a report recently about reviews coming from owners/business operators themselves.

On the question of apology -
Nobody owes their holiday neighbours a holiday free of the noise babies and toddlers make if the owners rent to families and do not bar children under a certain age.

You owe your neighbours a holiday free of the noise of loud adults after 9pm, free of the noise of adults puking their guts up at 3am, free of the noise of loud arguments, and fistfights.

But babies and toddlers and their noise are part of normal life and anyone who is so enraged about them needs to take a chill pill, bring ear plugs, or book a holiday in an adult only venue.

@Pineapple1

I find mumsnetters hilarious.

This is supposed to be a forum for mother's, and / or parents.
Yet you have people here that are deluded about how babies of a year old should be behaving.
Absolutely hilarious

Completely agree with you, some people are unbelievably critical and intolerant.

@zzzzzzzz12345
Your methods of keeping a child in bed until the last minute when you feel it's time for getting up is silly.

It doesn't teach them how to play quietly, it simply teaches them that mum will be in and shoo them back to bed.

The moon and sun? Go away with you! There are more times when neither is out or both!

Seriously., you need to have a look at your own obsessive behaviour. Far from flaunting this as good parenting, sadly it shows you rely on 'the clock' rather than the behaviour you want to create which is a child who can play quietly until their parents get up.

You did other families a service by warning them about the attitude of the business toward babies/toddlers.

They are happy to take your money but they treated you badly.

It's not ok to make people feel they are under pressure to keep their baby/toddler quiet for the duration of their stay. If they don't want baby and toddler noise in their premises then they should bar children under a certain age.

You were absolutely right to leave a bad review. If a site is advertised as child friendly then guests should expect this could occur.

Anyone that's had children knows it's impossible to get ready and leave in a few minutes and it was considerate of you to do it as quickly as you could. Someone complaining at this happening once when a baby is in pain is insensitive and the way it was dealt with rude.

I'd thank you for leaving the review as I wouldnt want to go. Perhaps the owners should to as itll put off customers they dont really want.

Completely agree with you, some people are unbelievably critical and intolerant.

This ^^

some people are unbelievably critical and intolerant.

goes both ways.

bit over the top to put a snide review when asked to keep the noise down - once

"oops, ok, sorry" would suffice.

@angell84
So an article by a random journalist proves your point.
I think you definitely shouldn’t have children if you rely on this parenting advice.

I find it difficult to believe that the owner and the other reviewer would approach/comment for half an hour (on and off) of crying. I reckon it's been a lot longer and it's been proper ear piercing tantrum screaming.

Even so though. They shouldn't say children welcome if they don't want the associated tears, noise that come along with children. You're not being unreasonable.